


On Base

by tasu7



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, The Force Awakens - Fandom
Genre: But we will get to the smut eventually, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Most of this is PG or PG13, Resistance, Rey is clueless, Romance, Slow Burn, Smuggler Ben Solo, The Force, The Force Ships It, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Virgin Rey (Star Wars), Ye Be Warned Its SLOOWWWWW, resistance base, very slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:34:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 76,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21547699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tasu7/pseuds/tasu7
Summary: In a galaxy where Ben Solo never became a Jedi and where Rey was recruited for the Resistance as a mechanic, the two meet on the Resistance Base and slowly but surely fall in love, the Force bringing them together to learn how to share their life with someone else.-------------------------------------------“I mean… you’re a mechanic, a pilot, apparently a good gambler… and you just came out of nowhere with no formal training… you’re kind of phenomenal,” he said, running a hand through his hair.“No I’m not,” Rey countered. “I’m nobody.”“I severely doubt that,” Ben replied a bit more confidently.“Well… you don’t know me.”“No,” he agreed. “But I’d like to.”
Relationships: Kylo Ren & Rey, Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 496
Kudos: 1214





	1. The Falcon Lands

A bead of sweat rolled into her eye, making her curse as she had to blink away the stinging sensation. Rey rolled out from under the speeder and stood up, stretching out her back and pulling up the hem of her shirt to wipe the sweat off of her face. Seeing as she was from the desert, you would think she’d be unaffected by heat, but she was used to dry warmth, not the humid, sweltering climate of summer on Devaron. The new Resistance base had everyone a little hot under the collar. Laying under a speeder for hours doing repairs wore her out.

As she finished wiping her brow with her shirt, she saw a flurry of movement out of the corner of her eye. A new ship had docked in the transport bay, and Rey recognized it right away. It was the Millenium Falcon. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of it. It was clearly aging, but still looked just as gorgeous as the holos. And it could only mean one thing. Han Solo was here. Rey had yet to meet the General’s husband since she was recruited for the Resistance. In the few months since she was tapped by some Resistance members at Niima Outpost, she had picked up bits and pieces about the lives of the people she had always thought were myths– the Skywalkers. She never knew before that the famous smuggler was married to one of them.

Rey slowly walked closer, bringing a few tools with her so as to look like she was still working and not spying on the new arrivals. She peeked around a storage container to see a few people gathered around the ship’s ramp. She immediately spotted the general, who was hugging a graying man that was much taller than her. She gasped a little. That _had_ to be Han Solo in the flesh. She’d always admired the badass smuggler, who seemed to be able to finesse his way out of every sticky situation he came across. 

As she continued to look, she also spotted a younger man standing behind Han Solo. He was even taller, with long black hair. He was turned away from her, but just from his profile she could tell that he was probably what was considered handsome. She’d never met so many humans before joining the Resistance, and quickly learned just how attractive they could be. This guy looked well built, with broad shoulders and thick arms that filled out the sleeves of a grey tunic.

“Whatcha doin’?”

Rey nearly jumped out of her skin, her tools clamoring onto the workbench in front of her. She turned her head to see Finn.

“Kriff, Finn. You scared me!”

“Sorry!” her friend exclaimed, holding his hands up. He looked over to where she had been staring. “Oh look, Han and Ben are back.”

“Ben?” she asked.

“You don’t know who Ben is?” he asked, his eyebrows raised.

She shook her head.

“Oh, he’s Han and the General’s son.”

“Oh,” Rey said, looking back at the three Skywalkers. “I didn’t know they had any kids.”

“Yeah,” Finn replied. “Ben usually goes with Han on reconnaissance missions and supply runs. He’s also a hell of a pilot, but I think he prefers to work behind the scenes.”

Rey looked at Ben, wondering why she hadn’t heard him mentioned before.

“He mostly keeps to himself,” Finn continued. “I heard he got pretty messed up as a kid with all the Force stuff in that family. So he lays low for the most part.”

The Force? Rey had recently learned that it was real, that the mysterious energy that the Skywalkers and the Jedi were able to harness was actually a legitimate thing. But no one on base seemed to know much more about it, and the holos she was able to find were pretty vague. She hadn’t expected to meet someone who actually had it, or knew it, or whatever.

Just then, the three people at the base of the Falcon turned toward where Rey and Finn were standing. Rey picked up her tools again and ran over to the speeder. Finn looked at her curiously, but then walked back toward the storage container he had been reorganizing. Rey was arranging the tools she would wheel back under the speeder when footsteps approached her station. She turned around to see the General, Han, and Ben walk right up to her.

“Rey!” the General said with a smile. “I’d like to introduce you to my husband and son. This is Han, and Ben. Boys, this is Rey. She just joined us two months ago.”

Rey’s attention first went to Han Solo. He was much older than he was in the holos, but still just as striking. But before she could notice much else, she felt a spark in the front of her head from the person on his left, something that made her eyes snap toward him. 

_Oh._

He was attractive, alright. Rey had to keep her jaw from dropping as she looked at him. His dark hair was even better up close, all wavy and luscious. He had expressive brown eyes, a sculpted face, and big, pink lips. And he was looking at her too. Almost looking _through_ her, with a thoughtful gaze and an intense focus.

“Welcome aboard,” Han Solo said, regaining her attention. “Where ya from?”

“Oh, nowhere,” she answered nervously, fiddling with the hem of her shirt.

“No one’s from nowhere,” he countered with a smug grin.

“Jakku,” she shamefully supplied.

Han blew a whistle. Out of her peripheral, she saw Ben raise an eyebrow.

“All right, that _is_ pretty much nowhere.”

Rey nodded, a bit embarrassed. She didn’t have an impressive, storied past like the Skywalkers, or even interesting ones like the others on base. She was just a nobody.

“She’s an excellent mechanic,” Leia said kindly. Rey didn’t know what she had ever done to earn Leia’s attention and praise, but she appreciated it all the same.

“And a pilot!” Finn suddenly interjected, making his way to the toolbench, eavesdropping on their conversation.

“Hey kid, good to see you,” Han greeted Finn. “A pilot, huh? I didn’t know they had a lot of flying on Jakku.”

“They don’t,” Rey replied simply. “I taught myself with simulators.”

“But you should see her, Han!” Finn said, now making his way over to them. “You can put her in anything and she can fly it!”

Han looked surprised, and gave her a smile. Rey peeked over at Ben, who was now staring at her even more intently. All of the attention was a little uncomfortable.

“I’m better at fixing things,” she said truthfully to the group. 

“Well it sounds like we sure are lucky to have you,” Han said, patting his wife on the back. “Now if you all will excuse me, it was a long flight and I need to lie down for a bit before I drop dead on my feet. I’m not as young as I used to be. Rey, it was great to meet you.”

“You as well,” she responded, still a little starstruck.

“Finn,” he said, turning toward her friend. “You running a game of Sabacc later?”

“Yeah, I’ll see who I can pull together,” Finn answered. “Ben, you in?”

“What?” the tall man said, finally stripping his gaze away from Rey.

“Sabacc,” Finn repeated. “You in tonight?”

“Uh, yeah, sure,” he replied. His voice was deep and heavy, rich almost. It sent a chill down Rey’s spine, where the sweat was now cooling.

Ben’s head whipped back toward her, almost as if he had sensed her reaction to him. He looked at her inquisitively again, and Rey had to keep herself from hiding from his gaze. It was… intense.

“Ben, would you mind coming to my office to debrief a few things before you settle in?” the General asked.

“Of course,” he answered, never taking his eyes off of Rey. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking, which was unusual for her. Typically, she could get a good read on people’s emotions. Leia, for example, had a faint yellow glow around her. Not physically, but... emotionally. It was happy, content. Finn’s was neutral, off-white. But Ben… nothing. She couldn’t gleam even a sliver of spirit. It was a little disconcerting, as she couldn’t tell whether he was looking at her because he was mad, confused, bewildered, interested… it could be anything. His face wasn’t giving anything away either.

“Well,” she said, peeling her eyes away from him and back to the General. “Back to work for me then. It was nice to speak with you, General.”

“You too, dear,” she replied kindly. “I’ll see you later.”

Rey nodded, and turned back toward the speeder. Anything to excuse herself and hide from the scrutiny of Ben. Something about him was different, and oh so intriguing. She would have to find out more about him.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The afternoon dragged on slowly. The humidity of their forrest surroundings made the base steamy. Upon becoming satisfied with her repairs to the speeder, Rey finally stored her tools and headed to her quarters. She’d never had a real room before, a real bed with a mattress and everything. She’d cried when they’d first shown it to her. When the Resistance member who had recruited her told her they had lodging, she had never imagined something so nice. It still blew her mind every time she walked into her room. She gathered a change of clothes and headed to the communal fresher. That was new too– running water. Taking showers was weird at first, but when she saw how often the other girls were doing it, and how clean they all looked, she decided to add it to her normal routine. She had to admit that it was nice to cool off after sweating all day in the transport bay. Plus, she found that she did some of her best thinking in the shower. It was meditative, in a way. She remembered how embarrassing it was when she had to ask another girl in the fresher how to use the vials of liquid they had given her when she moved in. The girl had been nice about it, though Rey could tell that she was confused by how clueless she was. Rose kindly explained which soap to use for her hair, and which for her body. Rey didn’t even know they made different types of soap. It was harder for Rey to relate to a lot of the women on base, but Rose had emerged as a new friend. She’d never had so many friends before. Just one or two other scavengers who eventually either died or were enslaved. It was a bit overwhelming, being vulnerable to so many people. But everyone at the Resistance had been extremely nice so far.

After showering and changing, she returned to her room and cleaned up her minimal mess, readjusting her quarterstaff where it rested against the window. Although she had fewer belongings now, seeing as she had to leave most of her things behind on Jakku, she was happier with her situation now more than ever. Her stomach no longer went empty at night, and she didn’t need to watch her back every second, fearing attack. She was also learning a lot. The Resistance had countless holos she hadn’t been able to access on Jakku, and she even occasionally trained with the pilots on the simulators and in the actual ships. She’d always looked up at the sky at night, wondering if she would ever cross it. Now she could. With a smile, she made her way toward the cafeteria for dinner.

“Rey!” Rose shouted from across the room, waving at her.

Rey waved back, and pointed toward the food line. When she had first arrived on base, she had been completely stunned by the plentiful supply of food. She was still self-conscious about it. She didn’t want to take too much, but couldn’t help filling up when it was in front of her. No one seemed to care as she took more and more on her plate each day, and she finally realized that no one was waiting to catch her, to kick her out for eating too much. So now she loaded up two plates, having sweat out a plethora of calories under that speeder. She also grabbed a full carafe of water, clenching it under her arm.

“So do you all want in on Sabacc tonight? Han asked me to get a group together,” Finn was saying as she sat down at the table with him, Rose, Poe, and Snap.

“Yeah,” Poe answered. “I want to catch up with Ben. But if he’s playing, I’m in.”

“I’ll play,” Snap said, slurping up a spoonful of rootleaf stew.

“Not today. Kaydel and I are having a girl’s night,” Rose said. “Rey, would you like to join us?”

The group looked at her, which always made her feel scrutinized. She wasn’t entirely sure what a ‘girl’s night’ entailed, but she knew she liked Sabacc.

“I’d like to play Sabacc, I think…” she said.

“Damn,” Poe said. “She’s going to beat us all again, isn’t she?”

Rey blushed. When Finn taught her how to play, she’d beaten the group several times that night. They told her it was beginner’s luck, but she couldn’t see how it wasn’t easy to win. All you had to do was tell if the other players were bluffing, and that was easy.

“Well, someone has to,” Finn said. “Actually, I’m excited to see how she does against Han. You think she could beat him?”

“The only person I’ve ever seen beat Han is Ben,” Rose answered. “But who knows? You _are_ pretty good, Rey.”

“We’ll see,” she said, shrugging. She was excited at the chance to talk with Han Solo again. She had so much she wanted to ask him.

And then there was Ben. Would she speak with him too? Would she still feel just as strange when she saw him? There was something indescribable about him, something she couldn’t put her finger on.

“Solo!” Poe suddenly called out into the room. Rey turned around to see the man himself loading up a plate at the food line. He also had changed since she last saw him. She felt her eyes widen at the sight of him in black. A tight, black shirt wrapped around his upper body like a glove. She’d never seen a shirt fit a man like that before.

Ben turned and walked toward them, nodding at Poe. When he noticed her, he suddenly slowed, and took his time to approach the table. He took a seat across from her, next to Rose.

“We were just betting on if Rey can beat Han in Sabacc,” Finn said when he joined them.

“Are you any good?” Ben asked, looking right at her. His expression was neutral, and his aura wasn’t giving anything away. Rey felt blind when it came to him, she couldn’t read him at all.

“I just learned how to play,” she answered.

“She won every game her first time,” Snap said.

Ben seemed to analyze her for another moment, then smiled at her. Rey’s heart skipped a beat– his smile completely changed his face. Still incredibly handsome, but utterly transformed.

“Well, I guess we’ll see if you can beat _me_ ,” he said, winking at her.

Rey’s jaw finally did drop at that. He’d gone from distant and unreadable to rather familiar in a microsecond. Was he teasing her? Did he really think he could intimidate her? She spent her whole life defending herself. Nothing scared her. She remembered the winks thrown on Jakku, and they never had good consequences.

“I probably can,” she replied confidently, refusing to back down at his taunt.

But this only made him smile even wider, and her friends around her whooped and laughed. Had she said something wrong?

“Oh, I can’t wait for this,” Poe said. 

“Do you think Han brought back any booze with him?” Finn asked.

“You know he did,” Snap said confidently, and the group devolved into conversation about the night’s activities.

“So,” Ben said to Rey from across the table in his deep, tempting voice. “Jakku. What did you do there?”

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“For a job,” he clarified. “Before you came to the Resistance.”

“Oh,” she said. “You know… picked abandoned ships for the most part. Whatever I could find to trade for rations.”

“So you were a scavenger?” he asked, an eyebrow raised.

Rey frowned, and massive wave of embarrassment hit her. She knew she didn’t come from the best of circumstances, but no one at the Resistance had ever been condescending about it. ‘Scavenger’ was what Plutt called her. What the traders at Niima outposts spit at the people who had to pick for a living.

In fact, the table had gone quiet. Everyone was now looking between her and Ben. She knew Ben was privileged, his mother was a princess for crying out loud. But she never acted like it. Her son, on the other hand, was apparently different. Her blood boiled with rage.

“I’m sorry that I wasn’t born to royalty,” she hissed at him. She wasn’t about to take shit from someone who didn’t even know her. “Some of us weren’t privileged enough to have nice clothes, or go to school, or have food whenever we wanted it. I did the best I could. And I really don’t have to meet _your_ standards, do I?”

She could feel the anger rolling off of her now.

“So… is that a no?” he asked, looking confused by her response.

Rey huffed. He really wasn’t going to apologize?

“If you ever call me that again, I will shove my quarterstaff so far up your ass you’ll be tasting durasteel for the rest of your life.”

Ben’s eyes had gone wide by now, but Rey was done. She shoved away from the table, grabbing her plates and storming away. For the first time in her entire life, she wasn’t hungry. She’d been called a scavenger countless times, but for some reason it had never hurt this badly before.

“What the fuck, Ben?” she heard from the table as she walked away.

“She’s serious, Ben. She’s lethal with that quarterstaff.”

She threw her plates onto the service belt, and slammed the door of the cafeteria open.


	2. Sabacc

Rey immediately regretted throwing away her dinner as soon as she walked through the cafeteria door and out into the hallway. Not even pretentious, cruel Ben Solo warranted throwing away precious food. In a past life, she would have been happy to dig food out of a trash bin. Now, she just knew Ben would judge her even more for doing so than he did before. She clenched her fists, tempted to head to the gym and take out her anger on a punching bag. She began to make her way toward her quarters when she heard the door crash open behind her, and thunderous footsteps give chase.

“Rey! Wait!”

Rey narrowed her eyes when she turned to see Ben Solo running up to her.

“What? Is there something else about me you forgot to insult?” she spat at him.

“What? No! Look– I’m sorry! I didn’t think… I didn’t know that would… I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to insult you.”

Rey rolled her eyes.

“Yeah? What _did_ you mean when you called me a scavenger?”

“I just… I wasn’t thinking. I just heard that term used before. I didn’t think about what it meant or how it would come off…”

“So you just thought calling someone a scavenger was a nice, normal thing to do?”

“No! I didn’t know that word was– No!”

Rey was angry, but still managed to be distracted by the way Ben’s big chest was moving up and down with his anxious heavy breathing. She had yet to see him this way– flustered and lacking control. It seemed honest.

“I’m sorry, Rey. I don’t think less of you for any reason. I just… I really want to know more about you.”

She blinked at that. He had managed to surprise her, his response taking a turn she hadn’t foreseen. He appeared to be genuine, his big brown eyes looking earnest. But it was hard to tell when she couldn’t read his aura like she was used to doing when speaking with people.

“Why?” she asked, a little stunned.

“Why?” he repeated. “Because you’re the most interesting person that’s come to this base in years.”

She looked at him skeptically. Was he mocking her again?

“I mean… you’re a mechanic, a pilot, apparently a good gambler… and you just came out of nowhere with no formal training… you’re kind of phenomenal,” he said, running a hand through his hair. He looked a little more timid now, like he was afraid she would attack him. She saw the same tics in nervous animals. He seemed sincere.

“No I’m not,” she countered. “I’m nobody.”

“I severely doubt that,” Ben replied a bit more confidently. 

“Well… you don’t know me.”

“No,” he agreed. “But I’d like to.” He was back to being more self-assured now that her anger had receded. She could see the corner of his mouth fighting the urge to smirk.

Rey looked at him, trying to decipher his meaning. No one had ever been this interested in her before. And she had to admit that Ben Solo was becoming one of the most interesting people _she’d_ ever encountered.

“Sabacc tonight,” she declared. “Winner gets to ask three questions.”

Ben looked surprised for a moment at her proposal, but his devastating grin finally made its appearance.

“Deal.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I’m nervous,” Poe said, clutching his glass of whatever booze Han had brought to the Sabacc game.

“You’re not even playing,” Kaydel countered. Even Rose and Kaydel had cancelled their ‘girl’s night’ to come watch Rey and Ben face off. 

Rey had played a few rounds with her friends first, while Ben stood off to the side. She knew that he was studying her carefully, and felt a bit overheated under his gaze. Of course, that could also be the muggy summer weather.

Now they were sitting across from each other. Han sat off to the side, smirking at his son. Rey would have assumed he would be on Ben’s side, but he’d been smack-talking his own child from the moment he arrived to the party.

“Now, Ben,” he chided, “I know pretty girls make you nervous, but don’t forget to consider the blind.”

Rey had to keep herself from laughing as Ben threw his dad a glare. She watched Ben’s hands fold themselves gracefully onto the table, and couldn’t help but notice how large they were. She wondered what it would be like for him to touch her.

Finn began dealing their first two cards, and she refocused on the task ahead of her. Sure, she couldn’t read Ben the way she could read everyone else, but she was still lucky. The cards seemed drawn to her, somehow. She hadn’t had a bad deal all night. She felt something warm wash over her as he dealt. It could be the summer heat, but it felt more… directed. Like it was coming from somewhere in front of her. Curious.

Finn placed the remaining cards in a pile face down between them. Rey picked up her cards– a Balance of Flasks and a five of Sabers. Not great, but not terrible. She quickly looked up at Ben, hoping to spot some sort of reaction to his hand, but he was already looking at her, smirking. She glared at him in return.

“Ladies first,” he said lowly. It was difficult not to linger in the sound of his voice.

“I’ll trade,” she said, placing her Balance face down and receiving a new card from Finn, a Mistress of Staves. Not what she was hoping for.

She felt it again, the light breeze of something come over her. Where was it coming from? She shrugged it off, determined to remain focused.

She saw the corner of Ben’s mouth tilt downward, but it was so fast she might have imagined it. For then he placed a card of his own face down on the table.

“I’ll also trade,” he said, picking up a new one. Rey tried to slide into his energy, but couldn’t find a good entry.

“I’ll call,” Rey said, putting two of her fake chips into the pile. They never gambled with real money at the Resistance. It was foolish. 

“Likewise,” Ben answered quickly, tossing his share into the center.

“Alright,” Finn said. “Next round.”

He dealt two more cards to them. As she studied her new cards, she felt a slight tingling on the front of her mind. It was completely foreign. _Something_ was going on. She looked up at Ben, who was still looking at his cards. She clenched her jaw and did her best to dismiss the tingling.

“Ben, you begin the action phase this round,” Finn dictated.

Rey studied him, determined to catch a glimpse of something, anything. She nearly felt something for a moment, a wet, shallow crevice, but it quickly vanished. Nothing.

“I’ll draw,” he said, finally looking up at her. He took the new card from Finn and glanced at it briefly. Rey thought she felt something, something tight… maybe apprehensive…

“I’ll stand,” she said, trying to portray a calm confidence. Warmth pooled over her again, and now she knew there was no way she was imagining it. Someone was messing with her. And there was really no clearer candidate than Ben. She curled her toes, throwing the blanket of warmth off of her. There was no way she was going to let him win.

“Now for betting,” Finn said.

“I’ll raise,” Ben said after a moment looking at his cards. Rey was too focused on mentally fending off the warmth to gleam anything off of him.

“Call,” she replied quickly, tossing her chips in after his.

Finn dealt the next round. All of a sudden, a beep went off. They all looked to Rose, who was holding the beeper in her hand. Rose was acting as the shift caller, using a random generator to decide when a Sabacc Shift occurred.

Rey inwardly cursed as she placed her hand down and slid it over to Ben. He looked smug as he passed his hand over.

The kriffer wasn’t bluffing. It was a good hand. Not good enough to call, but better than hers. But he was an idiot for not putting the Idiot into the Static. She immediately placed it face up on the table. She heard a few oohs from the crowd. But Ben had the nerve to _wink_ at her. What was he on about? Was that part of his tactic?

“I’ll trade,” she said, placing three cards face down. She didn’t want him to know what was in her hand.

“I’ll draw,” he countered.

Now she tried harder to carve her way into him. She used her mind to push a bit further than she was used to. It felt a bit reckless, like she was somewhere she wasn’t supposed to be. She was surprised when she hit greenery, a lush garden with pink roses. It wasn’t what she was looking for, but was intrigued all the same. Ben looked up at her sharply from his cards. Could he _feel_ what she was doing? He was staring at her more intensely than ever, and she felt the warmth rush over her again.

There was no question now. He was doing this. There was a reason why she couldn’t read him, why her attempts to see into him were strange and unsuccessful. He was doing something similar. To her. She bit her lip and buffered against the warmth. She thought of a cool ocean, one she’d seen flying over Devoran, and the large island in the middle of it. The warmth eased from her, shed like a snakeskin.

“Rey?” Finn asked. “It’s your turn.”

Rey had momentarily forgotten about the game, so wrapped up in what was going on inside her head.

“I call,” she said, now unconcerned about counting cards. Now it was a battle of the minds.

“I call,” Ben repeated, never taking his eyes off of hers. They were really quite stunning. It was too bad she was going to have to beat him. He might not look at her the same way afterwards.

“Alright,” Finn said, sounding a little uncomfortable. He seemed to have picked up on the tense tone they had taken up. He dealt the next round anyway.

Rey knew to bolster her defenses this time, anticipating the heavy cloud that threatened to wrap around her and the tingle near the front of her skull. They immediately recoiled from her mental fortress, and she took the opportunity to surge forward with a sharp spike. 

It was beautiful, for a moment. Like slicing through butter. Color came rushing in, the color she’d been craving from Ben. It overwhelmed her, the vibrancy, the strength. It poured out, nearly drowning her. There was too much to comprehend, scores of emotions and seas of memories. She had to close her eyes, there was too much. A thousand voices and countless echoes swarmed her head at once.

Just when the pressure started to build, when it started to become too much to bare, it all rushed out. The flood receded, and everything was sucked back into him, and out of her head. She opened her eyes to see him staring at her, mouth agape. She realized she was clutching the edge of the table with white knuckles, her cards spilled in front of her.

“Uh, are you guys ok?” Finn asked from beside her.

She continued to look at Ben, terrified and amazed at what had happened. How had she _done_ that?

“I call the hand,” Ben growled, throwing down his cards.

“But,” Finn said, looking between his cards and hers. “Both of you bombed out. Neither of you win…”

“It’s over,” Ben said sternly, shoving back from the table.

Suddenly, before she could react, Ben grabbed her hand, and began to pull her from the table. Her self-defense reflexes engaged, and she brought her other elbow down into his wrist, breaking his hold.

He grunted, a deep masculine thing.

He glared at her, as if _she_ was the one who had attacked first.

“Come with me,” he said to her, clearly expecting her to obey.

“Why?” she asked fiercely. 

Ben looked around them, at the gathered crowd who was now looking at the two of them in stark confusion, bewildered by their sudden outbursts.

“We need to talk,” he said, turning back to her. “Please.”

It was the ‘please’ that did it. He turned earnest for a moment, and Rey saw true desperation in his eyes. He didn’t mean to hurt her. He needed something.

“Fine,” she said, shoving back from the table. She didn’t look back as she followed him out of the lounge and into the hallway.

He didn’t stop when they exited the room. He led them down a corridor, and toward the barracks. He stopped at an unmarked door, and opened it, standing aside for her to enter. She eyed him suspiciously as she walked in. It was a regular room, with only a few pieces of clothing scattered around. She saw a grey tunic hung on a rack, and realized that Ben must be staying in it while he was on base.

She heard him follow and shut the door behind them. She turned, expected to see him angry. But what she found surprised her. He was looking at her with what she could only describe as wonder. His eyes were wide, and he seemed to be contemplating her very existence in front of him.

She waited for him to speak, but grew increasingly uncomfortable with every second that passed that he spent staring at her, looking like a porg in forelights.

“What?” she finally asked, agitated, shifting on her feet.

Ben shook his head, and swallowed.

“You… you have the Force,” he stammered.

Rey heard what he said clearly, but couldn’t comprehend the statement.

“What?”

“The Force,” he repeated, “you have the Force.”

“No, I don’t.”

He laughed at that, a nervous sort of chuckle.

“Yes,” he said, finally peeling himself off of the door. “You do. I’ve only met one person more connected to the force and it’s my uncle.”

Rey shook her head, confused.

“Isn’t your uncle a Jedi?”

Ben nodded.

“Jedi have the Force,” Rey thought out loud. “ _I_ don’t have the Force.”

Ben huffed again.

“The Force flows through everything, and everyone,” he replied. “Not just the Jedis.”

Rey still couldn’t wrap her head around why he thought she had the Force.

“What are you… why… what are you talking about?”

Ben stepped toward her, looking more determined.

“What you did back there,” he said, pointing behind him. “What you did with your mind? That was using the Force.”

Rey looked at him blankly. She didn’t even know the Force was _real_ until she joined the Resistance. How could _she_ have it?

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t lie, Rey,” Ben said concertedly, now crowding her. “We both know what you did. But I have no idea how you did it, how you got into my mind. How you resisted me.”

It was Rey’s turn to gape. She had suspected that something was happening between them, but hadn’t known how fully he understood it, understood... her.

“It was incredible,” he said lowly, now inches from her. His eyes were on fire now, glistening with intent. “I’ve never met someone like you.”

He was too close for comfort. He was too warm, standing so near to her. She took a step back.

“That was… the Force?” she asked, still doubtful. It was something she always remembered doing. It didn’t seem unnatural to her.

“Yes,” he said, nodding sincerely. His dark hair rustled against his shoulders. “Rey, it was amazing.”

She wasn’t sure why he found it so extraordinary. After all, he was doing the same thing to her.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why do you think it was amazing?”

“Rey,” he said, chuckling again, as if it was obvious. “I don’t think you realize just how few people can connect with the Force like that. You’re completely untrained, but you broke through my defenses like it was nothing.”

Rey felt her chest tightening a bit. Was she… really that abnormal? She had just begun to feel like she belonged at the Resistance, and now Ben was telling her that she was different? Ben, this tall, nice-smelling man that looked like he could bench press her? This Skywalker that had a magical, mystical superpower, but also stood here in awe of her?

“I didn’t… I didn’t know…” she said pathetically, feeling overwhelmed.

“I know,” he said more gently. “That’s what makes it all the more staggering.”

He was leaning toward her again, like she was some sort of magnet and he was iron shavings on the transport bay floor.

“Why should I believe you?” she asked.

Ben looked hurt for a moment, but then reached for her hand again. Before she could pull back, he seemed to realize his mistake, and turned his palm upwards instead.

“Can I have your hand?” he asked.

“Why?”

“I want to show you,” he said patiently.

She considered him for a moment. She could taste honesty in the air, as if he was overflowing with it. Besides, she could kick his ass if she needed to. She slowly placed her hand in his. He carefully took it, and placed her palm against his forehead. It was warm, in a comforting sort of way. And his hands felt nice against hers.

“Read me,” he said fervently. “You’ll see I’m not lying.”

It surprised her, how he was exposing himself to her. She could already feel more pouring off of him than she could before, and she wasn’t even trying. Maybe he had been _blocking_ himself before, when they first met. She had never thought to do that until he had tried to infiltrate her mind during Sabacc.

She let her hand relax against his brow, and closed her eyes. She tried to be more gentle this time, to gently wade into him. It was easier with the contact, with the touch. She dipped her toes in the water, tasting the edge. She felt a pull, like he was inviting her in. With a more confident step, she was suddenly sucked downward, into a spiral. Upon stilling, she suddenly saw herself. But it didn’t look like herself. She looked… brighter. More beautiful, even. She saw herself holding Sabacc cards, the background faded away. She could actually feel steel walls as the vision tried to invade this imagined version of herself, and she realized that she was seeing Ben’s memory of her. It was like hitting stone with a flower, she couldn’t get in. Shock overcame her, a huge wave of disbelief, followed by amazement. That was how Ben felt when he couldn’t read her. The first time he had ever experienced anything like it except for with his uncle. Rey marveled at the intensity of his reaction, and before she knew it, the vision faded, and she slipped out from Ben’s mind, gently pushed out. She came back to herself, back to the blackness behind her closed eyes and her palm against Ben’s forehead.

She exhaled loudly, she must have held her breath. Opening her eyes, she saw Ben still holding her hand to his head, looking at her intently. She shyly pulled her hand back, but no longer doubted him. His memory made it clear as day.

“So… this is… using the Force?” she asked inelegantly, wincing at how stupid she sounded. She bet he thought she was an idiot, not knowing her own capabilities.

“Yes,” he nodded, but he didn’t seem to pity her. He still looked at her like he had discovered something new and miraculous.

“Oh,” she said, unable to muster up any other type of response.

She nearly blushed again as Ben continued to look her in the eyes. It was wild how close she had let this stranger get in less than a day. Then again, no one had ever understood her as quickly or as thoroughly as he seemed to.

“I can teach you,” he said after a while.

“Teach me?”

“The Force, how to use it. Or, I guess… at least how to control it. I’m not a big fan of using it. But at least like… how to stay balanced. How to block your mind when you need to… that type of thing.”

“You don’t use it?”

“Not like the Jedi do,” he answered. “Or the Sith. I found that when I was too wrapped up in it, it made it hard for me to be myself. I got lost in it, I guess. It’s hard to explain. But it’s definitely useful to understand the fundamentals, to be in control of it at least in your own mind. I could teach you.”

He looked so earnest again, she could tell he was making a genuine offer. And it was hard to refuse him when he spoke so softly, so directly to her. But this was all so new, so strange. There was little to nothing that scared her, but this sudden realization and this new person made her nervous.

“I… I don’t know...”

Ben stayed silent for a moment, patiently.

“Can I think about it?” she asked.

“Of course,” Ben said, taking a step back. Rey let out another breath when he put more distance between them. “I realize this is probably a lot to take in. Trust me, I know the feeling. But it really is best that you at least learn a little bit about it. Just let me know.”

“Thanks,” she muttered. He was right, it was a lot to take in. Her life had been turned upside not two months ago, and now it was being flipped again. Once again, she was back to being different from everyone else. _Great_.

“I uh… I’m sorry I dragged you away from the game,” Ben said now, doing that thing where he ran his hand through his hair, a move Rey recognized from when he had been unsure about something earlier. When he wasn’t gambling, his body language he really didn’t conceal much. Even if his mind was unreadable.

“It’s alright,” she said. “I’m sorry I broke into your mind like that. I shouldn’t have…”

“It’s ok,” he cut her off. “You didn’t know.”

Rey nodded. It didn’t sound like a good excuse, but she would let him have it.

“I guess neither of us gets those three questions,” he said, more lightly.

She laughed.

“I guess not.”

“I still want to get to know you, though.”

She had to give it to him– he was the most direct man she’d yet to been on the base. He said what he meant. The only person that matched him in bluntness was General Organa.

“Oh… ok.”

“Ok?” he confirmed.

“Sure. Although I don’t know why you would want to…”

She trailed off awkwardly. Ben just kept looking at her in that way he did, and eventually shook his head.

“One day I hope you realize why I would want to.”

Rey didn’t know how to respond to that. It was a good thing that Ben stepped further back, and opened the door to his bedroom. She wandered out, watching him as he looked at the floor. He followed her out, and they slowly walked back down the hallway.

“Are you going back to the game?” he asked.

“I don’t think so,” she answered. “I think I’ll head to bed, honestly.”

She saw him nod in her peripheral vision.

She stopped in front of her room.

“I… good night I guess.”

Ben looked at her again, and appeared posed to say something. But he just nodded again.

“Good night, Rey.”

She entered her room, closing the door behind her and leaning her back against it. She let out a shaky breath. The stress began to set in, and she closed her eyes, trying to calm her breathing.

After a while, she managed to go about her routine– brushing her teeth, rubbing out her feet, double checking the lock on the door. She only hoped that she would be able to sleep, given everything she had learned.


	3. Workout

“So, what’s going on between you and Ben?”

Rey tightened the final nut on the control panel covering on the side of the X wing, and looked over at Finn.

“What do you mean?”

“You two were super weird last night. You could cut the tension between you two with a knife.”

Rey shrugged. She didn’t want to draw attention to the fact that she was different. She wanted this whole Force thing to remain a secret, at least for now.

“He was probably just mad he didn’t beat me at Sabacc.”

Finn looked at her skeptically, and she could tell that he was unconvinced.

“Rey… I haven’t known Ben much longer than you… but even _I_ know that he’s doesn’t look at you like he’s mad.”

She frowned. Apparently she wasn’t the only one to notice how closely he watched her.

“What did he say to you last night?” Finn asked. “When you left together?”.

“Oh,” she said, fiddling with the control panel more, searching for an excuse. “He just said that he wanted to get to know me, you know, since I’m new and all.”

“Mmmhm,” Finn said cryptically. “I’m sure he wants to… _get to know you_ alright.”

Rey looked back at her friend, who looked like he was trying to hide a smile.

“I know, that’s what he said.”

“I’m sure he did,” Finn agreed.

Rey was confused by his tone.

“He did.”

Finn laughed, and walked back toward his station. 

Rey shook her head, and returned to her work. Finn was acting strange.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Can I sit here?”

Rey looked up from her lunch to see none other than Ben Solo standing across the table from her.

“Sure,” she said through a mouthful of rice.

Ben took a seat, and the first thing Rey noticed was how little food he had on his tray. How did he stay so large when he ate so little?

He didn’t begin eating, he just looked at her. That was the weirdest thing about Ben, he looked at you too much. It made it hard to not notice how attractive he is, with his big brown eyes watching you.

“So,” he said. “How are you?”

“Good,” she answered. “I’m almost done with the X wing that some recruit wrecked last week. And I have the day off tomorrow.”

“Oh,” he said. “Can we… talk tomorrow, then? About the Force?”

Rey considered him for a moment. He was leaning slightly over the table, fingers strumming the edge of his tray. He looked...keen.

“You’re really interested in this, huh?” she asked.

“Of course.”

“Why ‘of course’?”

“I’ve never had anyone to talk to about it,” he explained, shrugging. “Well, except for my uncle. But he and I don’t really get along very well.”

“So you’ve had the Force your whole life?”

“Yeah, for as long as I can remember.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “So I guess I’m just excited to meet someone else with it.”

Rey’s stomach fell a little at that. Of course Ben was just interested in her because she had the Force. She was nothing to him without it. She would have to remember that.

“Well, I normally train first thing in the morning, but we could meet after that,” she told him.

“How early do you train? I was thinking about working out, myself.”

“I usually wake up with the suns,” she answered. 

“Do you mind if I join you? I don’t get a chance to stretch my legs too often on the Falcon.”

“I guess,” she said. “Want to meet me at the gym, about 05:30?”

“Sounds good,” he said with a smile.

He finally picked up his fork, and took a very careful bite of greens. Rey suddenly became aware of her table manners. She was still working on them. And here she was, eating lunch with a _prince_. It was a wonder he wanted to be even seen near her.

“Hey kids,” said a voice over her shoulder.

Poe sat down on her right, setting his tray on the table slugging an arm over her shoulders as he settled in.

“So, how long are you on base for, Ben? I want to test the new pilot recruits on their overshoot maneuvers soon, and I could use your help if you’re free.”

Rey watched as Ben looked between Poe’s face and where his arm lay over her shoulders.

“I’m not sure yet,” he said. “Waiting for my mom’s orders.”

“Alright,” Poe responded, pulling his arm away to start eating his lunch. “Let me know.”

Ben nodded, turning his attention back to his salad.

“Rey,” Poe continued. “Want to fly tonight? Should be pretty clear.”

“Yeah, definitely,” she responded enthusiastically. She jumped at every chance to fly she could get. Once she met Poe and he found out that she taught herself how to fly, he was nice enough to let her do it pretty often. He said it was because they never knew when they would need more pilots, but Rey got the feeling he was just being nice.

“So are you two gonna have a Sabacc rematch or what?”

Rey’s eyes widened, and she looked over to Ben in concern. She had a feeling that they shouldn’t play each other anytime soon, lest she accidentally melt down the base or something. She didn’t exactly know how the Force worked.

“Maybe,” he said cooly. “I think I’ve finally met my match.”

He winked over at her, and she scowled again. It was the second time he’s winked at her. Maybe winking met something else outside the Western Reaches?

“Woah,” Poe said. “Look at that, Rey. I told you that you were good.”

Rey just took another big bite, unsure how to respond.

Rose appeared with a tray of food then, and sat down next to Ben.

“Did you all know that Snap and Jess are dating?” she asked the group, without a greeting.

“Obviously,” Ben answered.

“Yeah,” Poe added.

“Yup,” Rey said. Even _she_ knew they were dating, they weren’t very subtle about it. Rose was adorably oblivious, sometimes. She wouldn’t last three days on Jakku.

“You all knew!? Ben! You’re not even here usually!” Rose snapped.

He shrugged.

“It’s pretty easy to tell,” he replied simply.

Rey figured he knew the same way she knew, he could feel it when he was around them.

“Well it’s news to me,” Rose grumbled. “What I wouldn’t give to get a date around here…”

“What about Riva? She’s pretty cute,” Poe suggested.

“Not my type,” Rose replied with a sigh. “What about you, Rey? You ever gonna date?”

Ben choked on a gulp of water across from her, coughing hard as Rose turned to pound him on the back.

“Kriff, Solo,” Poe laughed. “Grav got you good today, huh?”

Ben scowled at Poe as his breathing returned to normal. 

“Rey?” Rose repeated.

“Oh, uh… I don’t know…”

“You should at least put Salaka out of his misery. He’s been flirting with you for weeks.”

Rey started, thrown off by the news. 

“He has?”

“Yeah,” Poe agreed. 

Rey was a bit stunned. She never noticed. Flirting here seemed to be a lot different than it was on Jakku. She looked around the cafeteria, searching for Salaka, but he wasn’t in for lunch yet. Even Ben seemed intent on his meal, no longer looking at her.

“At least we all know Ben is just as lonely as the rest of us,” Rose commented.

“Hey!” the man protested, looking up in bewilderment. 

“Come on, man,” Poe said with a laugh, “I haven’t seen you show interest in anyone since we were teenagers. Although, who knows what you do when you go off-world. Lots of babes in the Core, I bet.”

Rey hadn’t thought about that. Ben ran across far more people than they did stuck on base. And with the way he looked, he could probably date anyone he wanted.

“You know I don’t kiss and tell, Poe,” he replied with a smirk.

Rey blushed, and looked back down at her rice. She’d never even kissed anyone before, at the ripe age of 19. She knew it was abnormal. Someone like Ben, who was a bit older than her, and famous around the galaxy, probably had bounds more… _experience_ than her.

“Hey,” Rose said. “We should all try to get leave at the same time soon. Maybe head somewhere nice.”

“That would be fun,” Poe agreed.

Rey had not gotten a leave yet, being new to the Resistance. She knew she would get one soon, though.

“Can I join?” Rey asked. She was dying to see more of the galaxy.

“Of course!” Rose exclaimed. “I meant _all_ of us. You, me, Poe, Finn, whoever else can get leave at the same time. Ben, if you’re not off with Han somewhere…”

Ben nodded, finishing off a delicate bite of greens.

“Yeah, that would be fun. I need a trip that’s not with my dad.”

Rey, personally, was jealous that he got to spend so much time with Han Solo, even more so that he got to spend so much time with family in general. But she supposed it was normal to want to hang out with friends. She was getting used to that feeling herself, having been alone for most of her life.

“Do you think you can cop the Falcon?” Poe asked excitedly.

Ben rolled his eyes.

“I’ll see if my dad can part with his precious baby for a few days.”

“How does it feel being the second favorite child?” Rose teased.

Ben scoffed good naturedly. 

“What about the lake house on Naboo?” Poe suggested.

“Did you just invite yourself to my family’s lake house?” Ben asked with a playful grin.

Did the General have more than one house? Rey supposed if anyone could afford it, a princess could.

“Nah,” Rose said. “I want to go somewhere busier. Do some shopping, see a show.”

“Like Canto Bight?” Poe asked.

“Kriff no,” she answered with a grimace. “I hate that place.”

“I’m with Rose on that one,” Ben added. “What about Chandrila?”

“Feeling homesick?” Poe inquired.

Ben shrugged.  
Rey hadn’t given a thought to where Ben was born. But she guess it made sense, Chandrila being where the New Republic was formed in part by Leia Organa.

“At least it’s not overbuilt like Coruscant,” he replied.

“I’m down for Chandrila,” Rose said.

“Alright,” Poe responded. “Me too, I guess. Rey?”

Rey froze mid-chew, looking up to see the group looking at her. She swallowed, and wiped her mouth on the back of her hand.

“Sure,” she said. “I… don’t know a lot about… anywhere. So wherever is fine with me.”

“You’ll like Chandrila,” Rose said. “Plenty of green. Not as much as here, but a good mix of city and wildlife. And it’s not too crazy, like Coruscant.”

“I like green,” Rey said simply. It was true. She often sat outside in her free time, reading holos, surrounded by all the trees and plants. Her body craved it after a lifetime in the desert.

“Ok,” Ben said. “I’ll send ahead a comm to our droid at the apartment once we know when we can make the trip.”

“True,” Poe said. “I guess this all relies on if we can get leave together. And if Finn is ok with Chandrila.”

“Think you can butter up your mom and ask for joint leave for us?” Rose asked Ben.

“I can try,” Ben answered, “but I think you know as well as I do that it won’t help much.”

Rose and Poe laughed.

“Maybe Rey should ask,” Poe said, gently elbowing her in the side. “Leia really likes her.”

“She does?” Rey asked.

“Yup,” Rose agreed. “She has a soft spot for you for sure.”

Rey looked over at the General’s son, who seemed as surprised as she was to hear that his mom favored her for some reason.

Rey listened in as the group continued to make plans for their trip, with Finn joining them at one point and agreeing to the plan. Ben was quiet too, and seemed to be looking at her everytime she glanced his way.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

Rey woke up a little later than usual. After flying with Poe the night before, she had been a little too worked up to fall asleep right away. Flying made her giddy, and it took a while for her brain to shut off. She squinted her eyes as she looked at the window and saw that the suns had already partially risen.

“Kriff,” she cursed, flinging off her sheets and barreling over the side of the bed. She nearly tripped as she scrambled to change, already running late for meeting Ben at the gym. The chrono near the door read 05:57. She hated being late.

She ran down the hallway once she was ready, and flung the door open as she unwrapped the leather from around her wrist to put her hair up. As she predicted, Ben was already there. He was down on a mat, doing push ups. He didn’t look over as she entered, too busy raising and lowering himself over the floor. He was in a sleeveless tank, and Rey’s mouth went a little dry when she saw his arms for the first time, thick with muscle and covered in a light sheen of sweat.

He stopped eventually, kneeling on the mat and sitting back on his legs. He finally looked over to her and smiled. It was really unfair how he managed to look so good even when sweaty. Even more devastating was how the top half of his long hair was pulled back into a small bun at the back of his head. Now Rey _really_ couldn’t deny how attractive she found him.

“Good morning,” he said, his voice heavy with exertion.

“Sorry I’m late,” she said. “I always have trouble sleeping after flying.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know,” she answered. “I just get so excited and my brain gets going a million parsecs a minute and I can’t fall asleep.”

He smiled again, and stood up from where he was kneeling.

“That’s cute,” he said, walking toward her.

She frowned. She didn’t like being called cute.

“No it’s not,” she countered, combing through her hair with her fingers. She watched as Ben’s eyes traced the movement of her hands.

“Whatever you say, Rey,” he replied cheekily, stopping in front of her. He continued to watch as she put her hair up into her three buns, as if he found the trivial task interesting.

“So, you train with a quarterstaff?” he finally asked, pointing toward her staff that she had held between her legs.

“I use it for defense,” she answered, finishing her buns and picking it up. “Well, I guess I used to. In Jakku, I mean. Now I just do forms with it, I don’t want to get rusty.”

“When was the last time you fought with it?”

“When a thug tried to nick a repulsorlift off of my speeder, about 2 days before I left.”

“You wanna train with me?”

Rey blinked, confused.

“You fight with staffs?”

“No,” Ben answered. “But I can fight with sabers.”

She watched as he walked over to the cabinet with the training equipment and pulled out a practice saber.

“I don’t know…” Rey said. She wasn’t used to holding back when she used her staff.

“Don’t worry,” he said. “I won’t hurt you.”

“It’s not me I’m worried about,” she scoffed. Ben was very sure of himself.

Ben laughed at that, a full, wonderful sound. He smiled at her sincerely, and she couldn’t help but smile in return. She liked that he liked her.

“Alright then,” he said. “How about you take it easy on me? I’ll do my best to keep up.”

“If you want,” she answered. “Let me warm up first, if that’s ok.”

“Of course,” he responded.

Rey watched as he walked over to a bench to grab his water bottle, and tried not to stare at his ass in the shorts he wore. She shook her head and began her warm up, jogging and jumping around the large perimeter of the gym, then returning to the mat to do some dynamic stretching. Normally she would hop on the running belt, but wanted to keep it quick as to not leave Ben waiting.

She occasionally glanced over at him to find him watching her, and she suddenly became aware of the way her body was positioned as she did her warm up. She was wearing tight pants, and realized her ass was even more on display than his was. She felt herself blush a bit as she leaned down to touch her toes, and saw Ben smirk at her brazenly out of the corner of her eye. Was he… checking her out? She supposed it was possible. He looked like Poe often did when he was hitting on people, a bit cocky and intrigued. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath to keep herself from looking over at him again. As always, she got nothing as she reached out into the space around her with her mind, unable to read him. Damn, he was good at blocking.

“I’m ready,” she said, standing up and walking over to him. “I suppose I should use a training staff, too. My own staff is designed for crushing bones.”

Ben’s eyebrows raised in surprise, and he seemed to look at her even more fervently than normal.

“You are something else, Rey,” he said, standing up as well.

She couldn’t figure out what he meant by that as she grabbed a wooden staff from the equipment cabinet.

“So, how do we do this?” she asked. “I’ve never practiced with anyone before.”

“You didn’t have anyone to train with?” he asked, sounding surprised again.

Rey shook her head.

“I didn’t really… know anyone,” she answered. “Just the Crolute I got rations from, and a few other people that picked the same ships I did.”

Ben stared at her for a minute, and Rey could have sworn she felt something from his direction. Something blue, something soft around the edges. But it disappeared before she could fully grasp it.

“Well,” he said. “I’d be happy to train with you any time.”

She nodded, a bit overwhelmed by his offer. Just like the others on base, he was overly generous. She wasn’t used to it, and half expected the rug to be pulled out from under her any minute, with everyone waiting for her to give them something in return.

“How about this?” he elaborated. “Let’s just start with a half-speed spar, just so I can get a feel for your style. I’m a bit out of practice, but my uncle was a really strict combat instructor, so I know some drills and exercises that we can do once I know what you fight like.”

It sounded like a reasonable plan to Rey. She was curious about the combat training Ben had apparently received from the Jedi Master, but stored away her questions for later.

“Sure,” she answered. “Sorry if I mess up. I’ve never had to try to not hurt someone before.”

She felt it again for a moment, the deep indigo, velvet sensation, but it too vanished quickly.

“No problem,” Ben said. “Let’s just start slow.”

She nodded, and went into a ready stance. She saw Ben grin again, as if he liked the look of her as she did that. 

“Here we go,” he said cheerfully, as he slowly brought his saber up to her staff, as if preparing her. 

The practice staff was significantly lighter than her own, so it took a few seconds to get used to the balance of it in her hands, but she found her stride quickly enough. She met Ben’s advances, careful to not reflexively go for his exposed flanks immediately. She felt a little too tight as she restrained herself, but found that she enjoyed seeing how someone else fought. Ben was a lot better than she expected, with a wide range of forms and moves. He wasn’t kidding when he said he was well-trained. She felt pretty scrappy next to him.

He smiled after a while, and suggested they speed up.

“Let’s ramp it up a bit,” he said.

Rey nodded, a bit more confident now that Ben could defend himself pretty well, meaning she wouldn’t hurt him too badly. She picked up the pace, letting herself get a little looser, extend the staff a little further. Ben looked elated as she pushed forward, and she found his amusement charming, and couldn’t resist his infectious smile. She took a chance and swung her staff across the floor, nearly taking out his legs before he jumped at the last minute. He laughed as she stood back up, and parried, bringing his saber down at her in a hurry. It was easy to block, and Rey could tell he was still holding back. He was a _lot_ better than she had expected. This was getting interesting.

“Come on, Ben,” she encouraged him. “Bring it.”

“If you say so, sweetheart.”

Rey’s stomach fluttered a bit at the pet name, though she knew he was teasing, and nearly missed his next swing, but thankfully spun out of the way in time and brought her staff into his side, landing the first hit. He looked a little surprised at first, but then gave her a devilish grin as she took another step toward her, causing her to lean back, which was against the number one rule. She immediately regretted it as she nearly lost her balance when he assaulted her, but she was skilled enough to side step and regain control, raining her staff down on either side of him as he quickly blocked her attacks. After that, it was a frenzied dance, with both of them doing their best to hit the other. They were evenly matched, and Rey had to admit that she was impressed with him, for someone who’d never had to fight off a dozen Teedos or a horde of steelpeckers for a quarter ration.

Rey felt her body sing, pleased to be moving again, utilizing its full strength, its full dexterity. She felt it erupt out of her– happy, excited energy. She was having fun, even though Ben was one of the most challenging combatants she had ever encountered. When it wasn’t for survival, she found that she actually quite enjoyed fighting. Ben looked he was equally as thrilled, smiling through the drips of sweat that were now pouring down his nose. She wasn’t much better. The humidity inside the gym and intensity of their battle had her hands slipping on her staff thanks to sweat.

Ben continued to go at her with enthusiasm, and she met him with equal skill. After a few minutes, she decided to turn up the amplitude even more, her reflexes and attack now perfectly in sync with her breath, with her heartbeat. She was determined to land another hit on Ben. She was on complete autopilot now, her body moving faster than her mind. Ben’s jaw was now clenched, and he was beginning to look tired. Rey still had quite a bit of endurance even though she had gained a few pounds since joining the Resistance, and was pleased to notice that she was less worn out than him. She would just have to outlast him.

Watching Ben’s body move was better than art, in her opinion. Sweat, muscle, exertion… those were things Rey understood. And she’d never seen such a perfect combination of them before seeing Ben fight. He seemed more like a Jedi knight than a copilot. She pictured him in Jedi robes, and was strangely turned on by it. She’d always been fascinated by the myths of the Jedi growing up, and Ben might be the closest thing to a Jedi she would ever encounter. It was… tantalizing.

Her wandering imagination suddenly got the best of her, when Ben took advantage of her lack in focus to corral her into a corner of the room. She did her best to block, but his sheer strength was suddenly becoming overwhelming. Eventually, he locked her staff above her head with his saber, and they stood there, struggling against one another.

“You’re good, Rey,” he panted out, still pushing against her staff.

She could feel his hot breath on her face, but she didn’t hate it. Not when his massive chest was heaving practically right in her face.

“You know,” he said, in a strained voice as she pushed back against him. “I really can teach you the ways of the Force.”

The Force.

Rey had completely forgotten. She reached out with the tendrils of energy that were flowing off of her from the fervor of their battle, and felt them wrap around Ben’s form. Not probing, just feeling. She could almost taste his excitement. She figured he was excited that he thought he was going to beat her. She couldn’t let that happen, her pride wouldn’t allow it. Instead, she closed her eyes, and pulled the energy back into her. After a moment, she exhaled and pushed with all her might and with her mind, sending Ben flying back. He stumbled away, and Rey took the chance to knock his saber out of his hand with a fast strike with her staff. He dodged a few of her swings after that, but she landed a solid hit to his shin that made him duck down, which is exactly the opportunity that Rey had been waiting for. She used the long edge of her staff to push his chest backwards, sending him to the ground on his back, and climbed on top of him, pinning his legs between her own and placing the end of her staff at his neck.

“Yield,” she growled. She never let anyone beat her. That’s how she survived.

Ben looked shocked for a moment, and maybe almost afraid. That’s when she lightened the pressure on his neck. She hadn’t meant to become so violent, it was just a natural reaction. But soon enough, Ben was smiling again, with that stupidly handsome smirk.

“I yield,” he answered, placing his hands on her thighs.

She shivered at the touch. He didn’t appear to be trying to flip her, his palms were just resting on the tops of her legs as she knelt on top of him. It took her a moment to figure out why it felt so weird, but she eventually realized the suggestive nature of her position on top of him. She quickly yanked her staff away from his neck, breathing heavy.

“Oh, uh…” a voice said from across the room.

Both Ben and Rey’s heads whipped around, looking for the source of the disruption. Two Resistance members were standing at the door of the gym with water bottles and towels, ready to work out. Salaka was standing there with wide eyes, and Snap looked utterly baffled standing next to him. It was so light that it was almost indiscernible, but Rey could have sworn she felt the tips of Ben’s fingers dig deeper into her thighs.

“We… uh… didn’t meant to interrupt,” Salaka stuttered.

Rey rolled off of Ben, clumsily crawling away and standing up, leaving Ben lying on the ground.

“Oh, no,” she stammered, “we just finished sparring. Nothing to interrupt.”

Salaka looked wildly uncomfortable, and Snap was staring up at the ceiling, clearly averting his eyes.

Rey could understand what it may have looked like to walk in on her and Ben. She tightened up her emotions, determined to remain unshakable. 

“Did you guys want to spar?” she asked her two compatriots, gesturing at them with her staff. She saw Ben stand up out of the corner of her eye, but couldn’t bring herself to look at him.

“Oh, uh… that’s… no that’s ok,” Salaka said, finally walking through the doorway into the gym. “I’m not much of a… sparrer.”

“I could teach you,” Ben offered quickly, sounding a bit more serious, more gruff than he had ever spoken to Rey. 

“Ah, that’s alright,” Salaka said, still looking a little flustered. He walked over to the free weights. “I’m just going to lift this morning, I think.”

Snap walked over with him.

“You guys got an early start this morning, huh?” he asked, and Rey could tell he was trying to cut the awkward tension in the gym.

“Yeah,” Ben answered. “Rey is an early riser.”

She cocked her head, a little confused by his comment since _she_ was the one that was late this morning.

Salaka looked over at them again, raising his eyebrows and then suddenly turning away.

“Well,” Rey said. “I think I’m beat for now.”

It was a lie. She was more energized than ever. Something about her spar with Ben had ignited something within her. But she wasn’t sure how to act now that she knew Salaka had been flirting with her. She didn’t really know him that well, they weren’t even friends, really. How was she supposed to act? She wasn’t particularly interested him, so she didn’t want to lead him on...

“Do you… do you want to shower and then we can meet up again?” Ben asked, a bit loudly as he walked over to the bench by the free weights to retrieve his water bottle.

She blinked at him, her brain whirring to fast to comprehend.

“You know… about… the thing?” he elaborated vaguely.

_Oh._ The Force.

“Yeah… yes!” she answered. She’d been apprehensive last night, but as she’d laid awake after flying she thought about the opportunity to learn about the Force from someone who actually knew what it was, someone that understood something inside of her that had always been there. It was too valuable to pass up.

“Can we meet at the cafeteria?” she asked. “I can’t miss breakfast.”

It worried her, missing a meal. She didn’t know if she would ever have access to food like this again, if something were to happen to the Resistance.

There was a small ping of the indigo again, shooting out of Ben, but it too quickly disappeared.

“Of course,” he said earnestly.

She sighed in relief.

“We can go to my room after that,” she said.

There weren’t a lot of private places on base, and she figured this was a more delicate conversation that required a quiet space.

Ben’s grin cracked even wider as he picked up his training saber off of the floor. 

“Yeah,” he said, resoundingly. “Your room sounds good.”

Rey didn’t know what he was smiling about, or why he was speaking so loudly all of a sudden. Must be the adrenaline from their fight.

She put her own equipment away, and waved to him as she made her way to her quarters to grab her showering stuff and a change of clothes. Under the cool, refreshing spray, she thought about their sparring session. Ben surprised her – he was quite good. And the way he looked with his hair pulled back was… something. It revealed almost comically large ears, but Rey thought they were cute. At least on him they were. She shivered as she let the water run over her face and remembered how there was a rush of energy when their arms grazed one another, when he pushed his stomach against her chest when he cornered her and held their weapons above her head. 

She had never expected someone like Ben. Not in a million years. He was an enigma to her. And yet, familiar. When she straddled him after disarming him, it didn’t feel foreign. It felt right. Though, she wasn’t sure what was more thrilling– his large hands on her thighs, or the press of her staff against his pulse point. Both were intoxicating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things are... getting interesting, aren't they?  
> ;]


	4. The Force

Their friends were already seated at their normal table by the time Ben and Rey arrived and got their breakfast. She’d spent longer in the shower than usual, reflecting on their sparring session.

“Morning,” Finn said to them as they sat down.

“Good morning,” Ben responded politely.

Rey was still intrigued by his table manners. He was fluffing up a napkin to lay across his lap, and all of his food was neatly placed into little piles on his plate. Hers looked like a hurricane had passed through it. It was hard to forget that he was technically a prince.

“How was flying last night?” Rose asked her as she took a seat.

“It was amazing,” she answered truthfully. She was having a pretty overwhelming past couple of days.

“You should have seen her last night, guys,” Poe said, chewing and swallowing a bite of nutribread. “She was pulling falling leaf stalls with her eyes closed. Literally.”

Ben looked up from his plate at her, looking more intrigued than ever, which Rey didn’t think was possible, based on how he constantly looked at her anyway.

“In atmosphere?” he asked.

“Obviously,” she said. What kind of question was that? That type of rolling variation didn’t work in open space. You needed gravity. Surely Han Solo’s son would know that.

“Is that safe?” 

Rey frowned at him. What was he trying to imply? That she couldn’t handle herself?

“Quit being a party pooper, Solo,” Poe said. “She’s a natural. She doesn’t even need scopes.”

Ben glanced over at Poe briefly, but then returned his gaze to Rey. His fingers were tapping rapidly against his caf mug. She saw a corner of his mouth lift up for a second, then the other, until it was a full blown smile. Ben’s emotions were all over the place, and Rey couldn’t keep up. He looked entirely too happy at Poe’s statement.

“Doesn’t need scopes, huh?” he asked with a grin, like he was in on some sort of secret.

Rey took a big bite of her morrt eggs to give her a reason not to respond. She wasn’t quite sure what Ben was thinking. As was almost always the case, she couldn’t skim anything off of his energy. He was blocked again.

“You seriously need to get your own ship, Rey,” Rose said. “You obviously love flying.”

Rey shook her head.

“I’ll never be able to afford it.”

“You never know,” Finn said. “Hopefully we won’t be fighting this war forever. Maybe we can all get real jobs when this is over.”

Rey hadn’t given much thought to what would happen if the war ended. Where would she go? She tried not to panic at the thought of it, but it was stressful to think her life could get so quickly uprooted again.

Rose scoffed.

“That’s not happening anytime soon,” she said.

“I agree,” Ben said, finally looking somewhere other than her direction. “There will always be conflict in the galaxy.”

“Man, you’re a real bummer this morning, Solo,” Poe said. “Have some hope, will you?”

Ben just shrugged, and took a delicate sip of his caf.

“Just being realistic. Of course I hope that things will work out, that we can stop the First Order. But someone else will just emerge from the ashes, just like they did from the remains of the Empire.”

Rey nodded, familiar with this part of history. She knew lots about the Empire from picking the fallen Star Destroyers on Jakku. Most of the holos she found were propaganda, but she was able to reconcile the kind of messages they spread with what the First Order was currently doing.

“Anyway,” Finn said, more earnestly, “I meant that you never know, Rey. Don’t give up, I’m sure you’ll have a ship of your own one day.”

She smiled at her friend, thankful for his optimism. It certainly was a nice dream – the freedom to explore the galaxy.

“You will,” Ben added, just as seriously as he described the First Order. Like it was fact.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
As planned, they headed to Rey’s room after breakfast. She was a little nervous, for a number of reasons. She was nervous about what having the Force would mean, how it would affect her life. And she was scared of someone knowing so much about her, and how her mind worked. Ben, practically a stranger, though quickly becoming a friend, seemed to know more about her than anyone before.

“So,” she said, folding her legs under her on her bed as Ben sat in the chair next to her window. “What do you want to talk about?”

“I’m not sure,” he answered, running a hand through his hair, which gave Rey an excellent few of his arm, which was a nice treat. He was dressed more casually today – a light, beige tshirt, some loose black linen pants. He was a little too big for the chair she had in her quarters, but she was glad he was sitting in it, and not on her bed. She didn’t know what she would do if he was that close. He smelled good even from this distance. Like some of the green plants she was learning about, like fresh earth.

“I guess… we can start from the beginning, if that’s alright…”

She nodded.

“When was the first time you remember feeling something? Something in your mind? Or something unexplained happened?”

Rey paused, reflecting on it. She thought back to being young, when she first started working for Plutt. She remembered shimmying into the small engine compartment of an abandoned TIE fighter, and part of the exterior casing giving way, crushing her inside. She remembered struggling to breathe, and nearly passing out. But then she’d closed her eyes, and imagined a gust of wind, one that would pick the large piece of metal off of her. Suddenly, the pressure on her body lightened, just enough for her to pull herself out of the ship. She looked around, but no one was there, no one that could have lifted it off of her. She figured she got lucky, but every memory was looking so different to her now that she knew there was something extraordinary to be found.

“Maybe age 5 or 6? I’m not sure.”

“Do your parents have the Force, do you think?”

She swallowed, and looked down at her hands, folded in her lap.

“I don’t know,” she answered quietly. “I don’t know them. They left me on Jakku about a year or two before that. I don’t remember them at all.”

“Oh, Rey,” Ben said gently. She glanced up to find him looking at her sympathetically. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”

She bit her lip.

“It’s ok,” she replied. “I just don’t know. Does the Force run in families?”

“Where do you think I got it from?” he asked lightly, clearly trying to cheer her up.

Rey balked.

“The General has the Force too?”

How could she not have known? To be fair, she didn’t really know what the Force was until Ben arrived and explained it to her, but she should have been able to tell, right?

“Well,” Ben said, “technically… everything… _has_ the Force. Some people are just more sensitive to it than others. My mom is more sensitive than most, but nowhere near as close as me or my uncle. Or you.”

“Or your grandfather,” Rey suddenly realized.

Ben’s eyes dropped, and he looked a little sad.

“Or my grandfather,” he confirmed.

“What was he like?” she asked.

She knew perfectly well who Darth Vader was. There was no shortage of information out there about him. But she knew better than most that people were not always who they seemed, that there was more to every story. She knew Ben would have his own story about his grandfather.

“I… didn’t know him,” he answered. “He died before I was born. He died trying to save my uncle.”

“He did?!”

The records were always unclear about what happened to Darth Vader, but there was plenty of speculation that he was good at the end.

“He realized too late that he loved his son more than his loyalty to the Emperor. He was able to save Luke, but not himself.”

“That’s so sad,” she said, bringing her knees up to hold them to her chest.

“Yes,” he agreed, his voice thick with emotion. “He loved fiercely. He loved my grandmother more than anything, and sacrificed himself for his son. But he couldn’t control his power, his connection to the Force. It was his undoing.”

“What do you mean?”

“He was trained as a Jedi,” he said, “but the Dark side of the Force was too tempting, and he gave up everything to follow it. He ended up hurting those that were important to him, and killing countless others. He destroyed my mom’s home planet, and made her watch.”

Rey gasped. She knew about the destruction of Alderaan, of course. But didn’t know the details. The General’s own father made her watch as he blew up her planet. It made Rey want to cry.

“There’s no forgiving what he did,” Ben said solemnly, “and this is why it’s important to understand the Force, why it’s important to be able to control your connection to it if you’re sensitive to it, like we are.”

Rey nodded, finally understanding why he was so earnest in culturing her connection to the Force. It could be dangerous, far more dangerous than she ever imagined.

“Personally, being a Jedi wasn’t the right thing for me,” he said. “But I certainly don’t relate to the Sith, and I could never let the Dark side hurt me or my family ever again. So I just kind of… let it be. I don’t like to use it much more than I need to. It can be hard to tune out sometimes, and I think it’s unhealthy to try to resist it, or block it out. So I try to understand it, mostly. Keep myself under control.”

Rey thought for a moment, letting his words sink in. He watched as she sat still.

“Do you wish you didn’t have the Force?” she asked quietly, after a while. There was a tiny hint of bitterness in his description of it.

Ben’s eyebrows raised, as if he hadn’t expected that type of question.

“I… haven’t thought about that much,” he answered, pausing to think. “It’s so natural in my family… I haven’t really considered life without it.”

Rey let him ponder for a moment, she could practically see the gears turning in his head.

“I don’t think I’d want to live without it,” he finally answered, shaking his head a little.

“Why?”

“It’s… beautiful, the Force. Being able to see the way it connects everything. If I didn’t have it… it would be like everything would just be in black and white, instead of color. It’s kind of hard to explain…”

“I think I get it,” Rey replied. She had never heard Ben speak about the Force like this before, with relation to color. That’s how she saw it, but thought it might be different for him. “I see everything in color. I mean… like people. I can feel their colors, if that makes sense.”

Ben looked a little perplexed, but nodded.

“I was going to ask you how you felt the Force,” he said slowly. “How you connect to it.”

“It’s kind of like breathing,” she answered. “I don’t usually need to try too hard. I can see how people are feeling, even if I don’t understand exactly why they feel that way. I can sense things around me moving, I think. It’s like a pressure in my mind, like I can feel the air move around it.”

Ben nodded again.

“Amazing,” he muttered.

“Is it?” she asked, surprised.

Ben chuckled lightly.

“Yes,” he answered. “I had to train for years to have such a clear connection. And what you did in the gym– when you pushed me off with the Force… have you done that before?”

“I’m… not sure,” she answered. “Maybe a few times? When I was a kid… I pushed a durasteel engine compartment off of me when it was crushing me…”

He looked at her intently, and she felt it again– the deep blue energy from him.

“Right there!” she exclaimed. Ben had been so open with her, she figured it might be ok to share a bit of herself as well.

“What?” he asked, eyes wide.

“I felt you… I felt… like… blue hue… around you. Kind of soft and deep, maybe sad.”

Rey watched a dozen micromovements in his expression, a range of emotions making their appearance.

“You saw that?” he finally asked, almost in a whisper.

“Is that… bad?” she asked. She was afraid she had violated him again.

He shook his head quickly.

“No,” he said. “It’s just interesting. I don’t read people the same way you do. And I thought I was pretty well blocked, but you saw me without even trying.”

“Oh.”

“You’re incredible.”

“No I’m not,” she automatically responded.

Ben sat up in his chair a bit, leaning forward to rest his forearms on his thighs.

“You’ve got to stop saying that,” he said with a gentle smile. “Almost everyone has something amazing about them. You are just particularly unique, and wonderful.”

Rey felt her cheeks burn up. Ben really seemed to mean what he was saying, with the intense way his eyes bore into hers.

“I guess…” she said. “But without the Force, there’s nothing special about me.”

Ben shook his head again.

“You’re so wrong,” he said bluntly. “Regardless of the Force, you surprise the hell out of me. You’re strong, resilient. The things you’ve taught yourself… it’s impressive.”

Rey had never been complimented like this before, and didn’t know how to respond. She couldn’t detect any deceit whatsoever from him, and she wasn’t used to hearing people compliment each other without some sort of ulterior motive. She looked away, unable to withstand his strong gaze.

“I don’t know what to say…” she said honestly.

“You don’t have to say anything,” he replied. “I just wanted you to know.”

She looked back at him, and saw him sit back in his chair, leaning away again, looking a little bashful.

“I think you’re amazing too,” she blurted, much to her own surprise.

He blinked, and looked as startled as she felt.

“I mean…,” she said more steadily, “I’ve never met anyone else like me before. And you fight pretty well. It seems like you’re good at everything. And you… understand me.”

Rey bit her bottom lip, a little reluctant at how forthright she was being. But Ben had been straightforward with her… so she should be so with him, right?

Ben looked away, out the window. She saw a small smile grace his expression.

“I’d like to understand you better,” he said quietly, his eyes scanning the forest outside.

Rey bit her lip, considering his profile as he continued to gaze out of her window. She buffered her mind’s defenses, and then let herself appreciate how handsome he looked. The sun reflected off of his glossy, black hair, and he looked so warm in the light cast in from the window, like it would be soothing to be wrapped up in his arms.

Rey sighed, knowing that she was well and truly interested in this guy. More so than she had ever been before, with anyone. She thought back to the day prior, when Rose asked if she would ever date anyone. She honestly hadn’t considered it, before now. Would someone like Ben even be remotely interested in dating someone like her? She didn’t even really know what dating entailed. She’d watched a few holos of drama shows that featured couples, but none of it seemed particularly realistic to her. Her only examples were couples on base, of which there were few. And those that existed usually kept their interactions pretty private. But she could only conclude that if she was to date someone, it would be Ben.

“What are you thinking about?” Be suddenly asked, still looking outside.

Rey wrung her hands together, hoping that her mental shield was still up.

“Nothing,” she yelped quickly.

Ben turned his head to look at her again, his eyes gleaming and full of mischief.

“You’re already getting better at blocking me,” he said. “I can see you thinking but can’t get a good read on anything.”

She hadn’t even noticed him trying to read her. She let out a sigh of relief that she was able to keep her thoughts private just then.

“I guess it’s not as hard as I thought,” she replied.

“I guess it wouldn’t be… for you.”

“What does that mean?”

“Just that you seem to pick everything up naturally, without even trying,” he answered, leaning forward again in the chair. “I don’t think it will be very hard to teach you everything I know.”

“You still want to teach me?” she asked. She felt something turn in her stomach at the prospect of spending more time with him.

“Of course,” he said with a smile. “Besides, I’ve been dying to have a friend with the Force. What I wouldn’t have given to know you when I was younger.”

Rey thought back to when she was young. She would have done anything to have just a friend, regardless of whether they had the Force or not. She wondered what it would have been like to have Ben as a friend.

“How old are you?” she asked, suddenly struck by the idea that they might have been different ages.

He laughed, the corners of his eyes wrinkling up in a way that looked just like the General.

“I’m thirty,” he replied, folding his hands in his lap.

“Oh,” she said. Quite a bit older than her. They wouldn’t have been friends even if they knew each other when she was a kid.

“Am I too old?” he asked, with a teasing smile.

“For what?” she asked, confused.

“For _you_?”

He raised an eyebrow at her.

Rey didn’t understand what he meant by the question.

“What?”

He simply shook his head in reply.

“Nevermind,” he said, his lips forming a small, controlled smile.

Rey looked at her legs crossed under her on the bed, and fiddled with the hem of her pants by her ankles. She wanted to find a way to spend more time with Ben.

“Well,” he said, standing up from her chair. He loomed over her, and ran a hand through his hair. “I promised my dad I would help clean the Falcon. He doesn’t trust droids.”

Rey laughed, storing the piece of information about Han Solo away for later.

“I wouldn’t trust _anyone_ around the Millenium Falcon, if I was him,” she said. “Besides you, I guess. And Chewbacca.”

“Have you met him?”

She shook her head.

“Not yet. The General says he’ll be on base next month, though.”

“Do you want a tour of it?” Ben asked.

“Of what?”

“The Falcon.”

Rey’s jaw dropped.

“Really!?”

“Yeah… of course,” he said, looking a little confused by her incredulity. 

“Yes!” she exclaimed, hopping off of the bed. “You mean right now!?”

“Sure,” Ben said, stepping back as she made a mad dash for her shoes by the doorway. “I know it may not be the funnest way to spend your day off…”

“Are you kidding me!?” she interrupted, her heart beating wildly. He was looking at her with amusement, and she couldn’t blame him. She probably looked crazy. “This is the best day of my life!”

Ben just raised his eyebrows as she hopped on one foot to tug a boot on, then the other.

“I can’t believe I’m about to see the ship that did the Kessel Run in fourteen parsecs!”

“Twelve,” Ben muttered under his breath as he followed her out the door.


	5. Getting a Tour

By the time Rey looked at the chrono on the dashboard of the Millenium Falcon, half an hour had passed since Ben had brought her on the ship. It had only felt like seconds, though. She was absorbing every detail she could about the infamous YT-1300 Corellian light freighter. It was definitely an old ship, and looked it. But she knew it had it where it counts.

“Did you want to see the rest of the ship?” Ben asked as she continued to examine every part of the legendary cockpit.

“Oh!” she exclaimed. She had nearly forgotten about the rest of the ship, after being so overwhelmed with the controls. “Yeah!”

Ben led her out of the cockpit, down the passage, and into the semi-circular hallway that circumscribed the interior of the ship.

“There are compartments under the floor for smuggling,” Ben said casually, pointing below him as he continued to lead her.

“Wow,” she mumbled to herself.

“And this is the main cabin,” he said, stepping down into a larger, open space with a circular hologram board and seating.

“Is this where you play Sabacc?” Rey asked teasingly, sitting down next to the table, trying to imagine growing up on the Millenium Falcon.

Ben nodded.

“And Dejarik. Chewie is obsessed with tabletop games.”

Rey smiled, picturing a young Ben being taught holochess by a large Wookie. She wished she could have had someone to teach her games and play with her when she was a child.

“It must have been fun, getting to spend so much time with your dad and Chewie on this ship.”

Ben smiled, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorway.

“It was… an experience,” he said with a chuckle, with a wistful look in his eye. Rey didn’t push him on it.

“So what’s next?” she asked, popping up from her seat.

“Well…” he said, “I have a feeling that you might be interested in crawling into one of the mandibles to check out some of the comms and deflector shield equipment.”

It was like Ben knew her better than she knew herself, which was remarkable given that they had only known each other for a few days.

She nodded vigorously, making him laugh again as he waved her through a storage area toward the crawlway entrance.

“I used to have to do all the repairs and maintenance in the mandibles when I was a kid, since Chewie was too big,” he explained, opening the latch and flicking on a light. “But I outgrew my dad at 15 and couldn’t fit in there anymore, so he had to go back to doing it.”

Rey peeked inside, and noted that it was, indeed, too small for Ben to climb inside without the risk of getting stuck. However, it was the perfect size for her, and reminded her of shimmying her way through tight channels and shafts of fallen Star Destroyers on Jakku. She quickly crawled in on her hands and knees, leaving Ben outside to shout out to her.

“Subspace radio is the first thing on your left, then a shield generator!” he yelled as she scurried down the tunnel.

She took her time examining all the parts and the criss-crossing connections to the sensors overhead. It was complete chaos. It was a miracle that it didn’t all short out the moment the ship was fired up.

“This wiring is a mess!” she yelled after a few minutes of inspection.

“Hey!” a voice squawked, in a pitch slightly higher than Ben’s.

Rey turned her head as much as she could in the tight crawlway, attempting to look over her shoulder. She could see someone standing next to Ben, ducking down to peer into the tunnel, but the backlighting made it hard to see.

“Who’s there?” she asked.

“The man who did the wiring!” the voice answered.

_Shit._

Rey cursed at herself for saying anything bad about the Millenium Falcon, and, by extension, Han Solo. One of her heroes.

She did the best that she could to back out of the maintenance shaft, extremely aware of the way her ass would be wiggling out directly toward Ben and his dad. She moved as quickly as possible, nearly falling over as she finally stepped backward out of it. Thankfully, she avoided further embarrassment thanks to the way Ben caught her arms, his thick, warm hands nearly fully encompassing her biceps. She stood up ungracefully, muttering her thanks, but his hands remained for a moment before he pulled them away slowly. She avoided looking him in the face.

“Sorry,” she said earnestly, turning toward Han. The smuggler was looking at her skeptically.

“What makes you think my wiring is bad?” he asked, sternly but not angrily. Rey could feel him, a more curious sense of orange than anything else.

“You’ve got the sensor transceiver and jammer up there double wired, which is probably draining power. You’ve also got the shield generator going through two power converters, so you’ve probably got an unnecessary lag on that,” she said honestly. There were a few more issues she had noticed right away, but decided against saying them all at once. She didn’t want Han Solo to hate her.

Han Solo considered her for a moment, then turned to his son.

“Have you noticed a lag in the fore shields?” he asked Ben.

“Uh… well… yeah, I guess,” he said, after a moment of thought. “I thought they were just… slow. Slower than the aft ones.”

Han scoffed, looking at his son disbelievingly.

“You thought they were _supposed_ to be that way?”

“Hey!” Ben argued. “How was I supposed to know? This ship is old as dirt!”

“Don’t talk about her that way!” Han exclaimed.

“You’re the one with the bad wiring!” Ben said, pointing toward the maintenance shaft Rey had just exited.

“You’re the bum that won’t go in there!”

“I can’t fit in there!” Ben cried out, waving his hands around almost comically.

“Um,” Rey mumbled, feeling rather awkward. She hadn’t intended to begin a fight between her hero and his very attractive son.

“Rey!” Han blurted out, turning toward her once more. “Do you think you could help me do some rewiring? You’re right… I think there’s some power drainage we could eliminate. And apparently some lag in shield generation,” he said, giving Ben the stink eye.

“What? Of course! Well, I’m free for the rest of the day today…”

“Don’t make her work on her day off, Dad,” Ben interjected.

“Ok! Fine! I’ll ask your mother if she can switch her over from whatever she’s working on to the Falcon for the rest of the week,” he said to his son.

“Is that okay, Rey?” Han asked, addressing her again.

Rey was shocked, blown away by the opportunity to work on such a prestigious ship.

“Absolutely! I mean… yes!”

Han smiled at her, and patted her on the shoulder.

“At least _someone_ can be useful around here,” he said, glaring at his son again.

Ben rolled his eyes, and smirked in a way that made Rey realize that they weren’t actually angry with each other. Arguing just seemed to be the way they communicated. She was glad that she and Ben weren’t like that.

“Can I give Rey the rest of the tour now?” Ben asked his dad sarcastically.

“Be my guest,” Han said, waving his arm toward a room to their right with a dramatic flourish. “Have you shown her your quarters yet?” he asked with a wink.

Rey saw Ben scowl at Han, and got a splash of deep scarlet energy off of him. Was he embarrassed about something?

“Would you like to see the engineering stations?” he asked her instead, standing between where his dad had pointed and her.

“I want to see the quarters,” she answered, curious as to why he had skipped over them.

Han laughed next to her.

“Yeah, kid,” he said with a strange lilt to his voice, “she wants to see your quarters.”

Now the red color appeared on his pale cheeks, not just on his aura. Rey couldn’t tell what was wrong.

“Fine,” he muttered, turning around to lead her over to the corner door.

His quarters ended up being quite minimalistic and utilitarian. She couldn’t figure out why Han teased him about it. She sat down on his bed, looking at the collection real paper books he had in a shelf above his headboard. She’d only ever seen one paper book in person before, and here he had dozens.

“Have you read all of these?!”

She turned to see Ben looking at her intensely, standing beside the bed.

“What? Oh… yeah. A few times. I try to find paper books wherever we go.”

“Why?”

He shrugged.

“I like reading them,” he said. “They’re nice to hold, to see how much you’ve read and how much is left.”

“They’re beautiful,” she said softly, looking back at them, running a finger down a few of the spines.

“You can borrow them, if you like.”

Rey spun around to look at him.

“Really?!”

“Yeah,” he shrugged again. “Just don’t let Poe get his hands on them. He got food all over one of my favorites a few years ago.”

Rey laughed.

“I promise to read them far away from food.”

Ben smiled, in the handsome way he did when one corner of his mouth lifted up.

“Take whatever you want,” he said.

Rey inspected the books for a few moments, reading the titles and the back covers. She chose a novel about a weapons maker who had to compete in an interplanetary hunt for parts. She had never really read for fun before, she’d always wanted to try reading a novel.

“I’ll start with this one, if that’s ok,” she said, pulling the book from the shelf and showing Ben.

“Sure,” he said. “That’s a good one.”

She smiled, running her hands along the edges, feeling the soft, worn corners of the paper pages.

“I don’t have anything I can give you in return,” she admitted. She only had a few things that she took with her from Jakku, and they were worthless save for sentimental value.

Ben cocked his head, and furrowed his brow. She could feel blue again from him, now.

“Rey,” he said. “You don’t have to give me anything in return. I’m happy to lend them to you. And if you really like it, you can keep it. I have plenty of books.”

Rey was silent for a moment. He really didn’t expect anything in return? He’d already given her so much– a sparring session, a lesson about the Force, a tour of the Millenium Falcon… surely this would all come crashing down soon. He was a compelling, good-looking guy, who apparently didn’t want her to give him anything?

“Why are you being so nice to me?” she asked.

Ben seemed to consider her for a moment, and then sighed as he sat down next to her on the bed.

“Rey,” he said slowly and deliberately, looking down at his hands as he folded them on his lap, avoiding her gaze. “I hope you believe me when I say that you should never have to pay for friendship, for someone to be kind to you. You deserve those things just for existing, just for being you. I’m assuming not a lot of people were nice to you on Jakku, but we’re different here. Everyone at the Resistance loves you because you’re smart, and compassionate. Because you care about other people. And they don’t expect anything in return. Really.”

Rey’s throat tightened, and she thought about his words. No one had ever loved her before. And here was someone telling her that this whole group of people she was now living with were ready to treat her with decency, and generosity. It was hard to believe, but she felt she already knew Ben well enough to tell that he wasn’t lying. He seemed dead serious.

“Really?” she repeated back to him, her voice small and thick with tears she was holding back.

“Really,” he confirmed, finally looking up at her, and reaching out slowly toward one of her hands.

She let him hold it in her lap, against the book. It felt so nice, so right, his warm skin against her own. It reminded her of that morning, when his warm palms had rested on her thighs. She wondered how nice they would feel all over her body.

She nodded and let them sit there for a moment, absorbing everything he had said. Did… _he_ feel that way about her? Like they were friends? She certainly hoped so, but they had just met. She thought about the trip they had planned with Rose and Poe and the rest of their friends, and she began to feel excited about the chance to spend more time with him, the chance to become closer.

“Thanks,” she said eventually, breaking their quiet moment.

“You’re welcome,” he responded softly, giving her hand one last squeeze before letting go and standing up. “How about the rest of the tour?”

She smiled, remembering that she’d only yet to see a small fraction of the ship.

“Let’s go,” she replied earnestly.

——————————————————————————————————————

“I heard you’re heading out again tomorrow,” Poe said at dinner. 

The whole group was gathered at their regular table in the cafeteria, happy to be done for the day. Even though she had the day off and hadn’t done any hard labor, Rey was still as hungry as ever. She placed her two plates down in front of her and was about to tuck in when she looked to see what Poe was talking about. He was looking at Ben.

_Oh._

He was leaving already? But she had just started learning about the Force. And they were becoming friends. At least, that’s what it had felt like. He _did_ spend nearly the entire day with her, even though he didn’t have to. After their tour of the Falcon, he had joined her in the rec room, where she started her new book and he worked on his datapad for a while. The silence was comfortable and companionable, and whenever she looked up from her book, she either caught a glimpse of him looking thoughtful and beautiful, or else looking at her again.

“My dad is,” Ben answered from across the table. “It’s just a two day trip. I’m staying on base.”

He seemed to look over at Rey as he said it.

_Good_ , she thought. More time.

“So can you help me with testing the recruits tomorrow?” Poe asked.

Ben looked over at his friend and smirked.

“I think I can work you into my schedule.”

“I’m honored, Prince Benjamin.”

Ben threw a wasaka berry at Poe, who just laughed and picked it off of the table and ate it.

“So how was your day off?” Rose asked Rey, drawing her attention away from the boys.

“Oh, it was good, thanks for asking,” she said. “Ben showed me the Falcon!”

Rose’s face lit up.

“Awesome! I remember the first time he showed me the engineering stations. I about died.”

“Right?! I thought about you when I saw them.”

“Are you going to let her fly it?” Poe suddenly interjected, posing his question to Ben.

Rey turned to them again.

“What?” Ben asked, putting down his forkful of food.

“Are you going to let Rey fly the Falcon?” he clarified. Rey couldn’t exactly see Poe’s whole face from where she was sitting, but by the tone of his voice she could tell he was up to something nefarious. Meanwhile, Ben had gone a bit pale.

“Oh, uh. Yeah. Uh… I mean… if she wants to… uh…”

Rey’s heart skipped a whole two beats at the prospect of piloting the Millenium Falcon, but it quickly dawned on her that Ben was probably just trying to be polite in front of her and the group. There was no way he would let _her_ fly it. Not when she had touched the controls of a real ship for the first time two months ago.

“It’s ok,” she said to him, trying to let him off the hook. “You don’t have to. I don’t think I’m experienced enough to fly it anyway.”

She saw Poe frown out of the corner of her eye.

Ben looked at her with wide eyes and said, “No, I’m sure you’re more than capable… I just… we… if you really want to…”

Rey noticed he was struggling.

“We can talk about it later,” she suggested. She had seen many people around base use this tactic to diffuse social situations. She felt rather proud of herself for being able to implement a new skill she had learned.

To her credit, Ben did finally seem to exhale and look a little relieved.

“Yeah, for sure,” he agreed, and looked down at his food. Now that he wasn’t as flustered, Rey tried to reach out a bit to feel him. But his space in the energy around him felt like a void, or a vacuum. He must be blocking himself, for some reason.

Meanwhile, she saw Rose glaring at Poe for some reason, and Finn looked anxious. No one spoke for a few moments.

“So,” Finn finally said, after taking a sip of water. “How about our trip? We still set on Chandrila? I took the liberty to look at all of our schedules. We all could take a few days off two weeks from now, funnily enough, if we submit for leave by tomorrow.”

“Yeah!” Rose said, “let’s do it!”

Poe looked pleasantly surprised.

“Sounds good,” he said. “I haven’t taken leave in forever, so mine will most likely get approved.”

“What about me?” Rey asked shyly. “I know that people normally don’t get leave until being here for… what, four months?”

“I can ask my mom,” Ben said suddenly. “She might make an exception.”

“Yeah,” Finn said. “Especially since you rebuild X-wing engines twice as fast as anyone else. You’ve probably done at least four months of work already anyway.”

Rey blushed. She wasn’t used to having someone else notice her work.

“I mean… that would be great,” she said. “But I don’t want to seem ungrateful or like I’m slacking off…”

“Honey, no one thinks that,” Rose assured her, reaching across the table to pat her arm.

“Besides,” Poe added, “if one of us doesn’t get approved, we can just reschedule for another time that works for all of us.”

“Thanks for including me,” Rey said. It really was kind of them to invite her, not only to be their friend, but on their trip together.

“Of course,” Finn said happily. “Besides, I want to see your face when you see a big city for the first time.”

Rey thought of all of the holos she’d seen of Coruscant, Coronet City, Theed, and the like. They were massive, truly unfathomable. She shivered thinking about what it would be like to look up and see nothing but buildings taller than the eye could see.

“Oh, I can’t wait,” Rose said enthusiastically. “Plus I’m dying to go shopping. Have you ever had a dress before, Rey?”

Rey shook her head. She’d seen whores wear them on Jakku, but they weren’t practical for her there. Then she saw normal women and men wearing them on base, but she’d never had the opportunity to wear one, herself. She couldn’t imagine they would be very practical, unless you didn’t do much physical activity. But she had to admit they were pretty. The General, in particular, looked very nice in her long dresses and robes, as did Admiral Holdo. The young people on base didn’t wear them much, probably because they were always working. Rey was excited to at least have the opportunity to try one on.

“Oh, we’ve got to get you one!” her friend exclaimed. “Although I never even get to wear mine on base. There’s never a reason. But you can bet I’m bringing them on leave.”

Rey tried to ponder what she might look like in a dress, but her mind couldn’t even conjure an image.

“I think I’ll need your help with that,” she told Rose.

“Honestly, you should get Finn’s help,” Rose said. “I like shopping, but he has the best taste in fashion. We can make a day out of it!”

Rey just nodded, willing to go along with whatever plan her friends preferred.

“Come on, guys,” Poe said. “I’m sure she won’t want to go _shopping_ all day.”

“You’re just saying that because _you_ don’t like shopping,” Finn argued.

“It’s her first time off-planet! _She_ should be the ones making the plans.”

“That’s alright,” Rey conceded. “I wouldn’t know what to do anyway.”

“We’ve got to show her the botanical garden,” Ben declared. “One of the best in the galaxy.”

“That’s true,” Finn agreed. “Not quite as good as Naboo, but pretty amazing.”

“What’s a botanical garden?” Rey asked. She knew what a garden was, but hadn’t heard of this kind before.

She felt a rush of blue energy from the whole table then, which nearly swept her off of her chair. She held on to the edge of the table as it washed over her and then slipped away.

“It’s a big garden where they collect all sorts of plants and trees from all over the galaxy,” Rose explained. “You can walk around and enjoy it all without having to spend ages traveling from planet to planet.”

Rey’s mind was blown. 

“That sounds incredible,” she said. 

“It is,” Rose said. “We’re going to have the _best_ time.”

Rey’s mind wandered as her friends continued to make plans. She was _actually_ going to get a chance to see the galaxy. And she was doing it with _friends_. If someone had told her three months ago that she would have even left Jakku in a few weeks, she would have thought they were mental. But here she was– working for the Resistance, living on a _green_ planet, making plans to go to Chandrila, meeting Skywalkers… it was like something out of a dream. She smiled to herself, and pinched her leg under the table to make sure she wasn’t actually asleep.

She glanced around and saw Ben again, smiling at her. She wondered if he could feel how happy she was feeling, if he could sense it. She smiled back, grateful that there was someone who really _got_ her. She liked having him in her life.


	6. Boot

It was on the way to breakfast the next morning when Rey saw Poe and Ben ahead of her in the hallway. She hurried to catch up with them, but something about their energies threw her off as she got closer. They seemed to be in an intense conversation, all serious and dark purples and greys. The severity of it slowed her feet as she approached them, and she couldn’t help but want to know what they were talking about that had them so impassioned. She concealed her presence and her mind, and listened in.

“You’re not playing with her, are you?” she heard Poe ask.

“What? No!” Ben responded fervently.

“Good.”

They fell silent for a moment. Rey couldn’t resist following them slowly, just within earshot.

“She just… it feels like I’ve gotta take it slow.” Ben eventually said. “I get the feeling she could scare easily. She… she’s different.”

“She is,” Poe agreed. “But she’s perfect for you.”

“It feels that way,” Ben said lowly.

_Who_ was perfect for Ben? Did they mean like a girlfriend? Someone on base? Someone he met on a mission off-world? Rey wondered what someone perfect for Ben would be like. What she looked like, how she acted...

“I think she likes you, too.”

“Really?”

Poe nodded.

Rey’s heart sank a little. This mystery woman liked him too… that could only mean that they would get together. What a bummer.

“She’s opened up to you way faster than she had to any of us. You know... she’s had a tough life. I don’t think she’s ever been in a relationship,” Poe said.

Rey had never been in a relationship either. She supposed that some people might see that as a bad thing, perhaps. Though Poe didn’t sound or feel like he found it offensive. Just a little sad, maybe.

Ben sighed, and ran a hand through his hair, as he was wont to do when he was thinking.

“I’ve never seen you like this before,” Poe added.

“Well...I’ve never met someone like her before.”

Rey was itching with curiosity to know who was so fascinating to Ben. She couldn’t deny that she felt jealous that someone could capture his attention so strongly. There wasn’t anything about _her_ that would interest him. She was skinny, and flat. She wasn’t educated, had no money or family. Immersed in her thoughts for a few moments, Rey missed a few words exchanged between the men, but was quickly able to catch up and dive back in.

“... and did you really have to ask me that in front of everybody?” Ben was asking in an accusatory tone.

“I just think you should realize it sooner rather than later,” Poe replied, now sounding less grave, and more of his playful self. Rey could practically hear the smirk on his face. “That’s your dad’s rule, right? Only the girl you marry would be allowed?”

“I regret telling you guys about that more and more every day.”

_What_ was only the person he would marry be allowed to do? This exchange was getting juicer by the second. 

She wanted to know everything about Ben, but she was starting to feel guilty for eavesdropping on what was clearly a loaded conversation. It sounded rather personal, and she realized that she was being a poor friend for snooping. She didn’t want to lose the first friends she’d ever made. Subtly, she slowed her pace behind them, their voices fading out of earshot. She turned into another hall, chastising herself for spying on them. She’d go the long way around the base to the cafeteria.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rey studied Ben and Poe closely at breakfast, but whatever, or rather, whomever, they were discussing earlier didn’t come up again. In fact, they were all continuing to make plans for their off-world excursion coming up.

“Hey,” Rey asked, “Will it be cold on Chandrila? I’ve never been somewhere cold.”

“Oh,” Rose said from across the table. “I think at this time of year it will definitely be a little cooler than it is here, and a lot less humid. It will still be fairly warm, springtime I think, but since you’re not used to any cool weather at all then you might want to pack some warmer layers. Right, Ben?”

“Yeah,” Ben agreed when Rose looked to him. “Definitely bring a few warmer layers just in case.”

“I… don’t have any yet,” she admitted, looking down at her food. She had the few sets of clothes she had brought with her from Jakku, and the standard summer issue clothes the Resistance had given her for the season, which was made for the hot Devaron summer.

“No worries,” Rose said, waving her fork haphazardly. “We can find you some. You’re a bit too tall for most of my stuff, but Kaydel probably has a few things you can borrow, and the guys.”

“Yeah,” Finn agreed. “We can definitely pull some stuff together for you. Can’t have our desert girl freezing on us!”

“I’ll take care of you,” Ben said.

She heard Poe snort, but he seemed focused on his own plate of food when Rey looked over at him. Ben was looking at him with a glare.

“Thanks,” she said, ignoring whatever that was. “I’m really excited for the trip.”

Her friends smiled at her kindly.

“Yeah, Ben is always a great host and tour guide,” Rose said. 

Ben shrugged.

“So, you’re testing the new pilot recruits today, right?” Finn asked Ben and Poe, changing the topic.

“Yup,” Poe responded. “I think we’re in a good spot. They seem pretty competent.”

“High praise coming from Captain Flyboy,” Ben teased Poe with a smile.

Rey laughed. She knew that Poe was a bit of a hardass when it came to technique, but was very friendly with his recruits.

Poe rolled his eyes.

“The real question is if Solo here will be able to keep up.”

“Oh, shut up,” Ben said lightheartedly. 

Rey enjoyed Ben and Poe’s bickering. She could tell that they’d been friends for a long time. It was never truly mean hearted, just competitive teasing.

Just then, General Organa approached the table. They all began to stand up, but she was quick to wave them down.

“At ease, you look ridiculous,” she told them.

“Good morning, General,” Finn said.

“Good morning, I hope you’re all well today,” she said.

“Just dandy,” Poe replied. “Your son is helping me with flight testing today.”

“Ah, yes,” she said, turning to look at Ben with a raised eyebrow. “He _did_ request to stay on base instead of going with his elderly father to help with a supply run.”

Ben scoffed.

“Kriff, mom. You make it sound like he’s on death’s door. He’ll be fine. It’s a two day trip.”

“Language,” she scolded him, making Rey giggle. She tried to hide her laugh behind her hand, but the General spotted her.

“And you, Rey,” the General said with a smug smile. “When Han gets back, I hear that he wants your help with some work on the Falcon. Now, let me ask you… did he bully you into this?”

“What?” Rey asked, shocked. “No! Of course not!”

“He sort of did,” Ben interjected.

Rey frowned at him.

“No, he didn't!” Rey insisted to the General. “He asked me and I agreed. I would love the chance to work on the Falcon!”

Leia looked skeptical, but shrugged and seemed to accept her explanation anyway.

“Very well. As long as he doesn’t give you too hard of a time. You come to me if he gives you any trouble.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Rey said.

“Uh, General?” Finn piped up.

“Yes?”

“While you’re here, we wanted to discuss something with you. We’d like to all get leave together, if possible. A week and a half from now.”

Leia hummed.

“Well, I don’t see why that couldn’t be possible. Where are you planning on going?”

“Chandrila,” answered Ben. “Is it alright if everyone stays at the apartment?”

“Yes, that’s fine,” Leia said, waving her hand, clearly unconcerned with the use of her personal dwelling. Rey was always blown away by the General’s generosity. She seemed to be of the belief that anything she owned also belonged to the Resistance. “Just don’t give C-3PO a hard time, for Force’s sake.”

“I won’t if he doesn’t,” Ben countered with a smirk.

“You’re going to kill that droid someday, I swear,” Leia muttered.

“He used to try everything in his power to send 3PO into cardiac arrest,” Poe explained to the group.

Ben just shrugged.

“He’s too easy,” he explained.

Rey was also going to meet _C-3PO_? The famous droid?

“Submit the leave requests and put a note to ask me to review it, I’ll make sure you all get approved,” Leia said, reaching out to rub a hand across Ben’s back. She’d done the same thing to Rey before, and it was so comforting and nice that she’d almost cried. She had never realized how touch starved she really was.

“Thanks, Mom,” Ben said. “Can you also make sure Dad is on base then, so that we can take the Falcon?”

Leia looked surprised, and peered around the table. When she met Rey’s eyes, she responded.

“I’m sure I can work that out,” she said with a grin.

Everyone gave her their thanks, and she continued her rounds through the cafeteria, chatting with the Resistance members.

“Your mom’s the best,” Finn said through a mouthful of eggs.

“Yeah, she’s pretty great,” Ben said. “I’m gonna get some more caf, anyone want a refill?”

“Oooh, me!” Rose exclaimed, passing her cup to Ben.

Rey had tried caf when she first arrived, but he didn’t understand how anyone could stand the bitter drink. And it made her feel jittery, like her hands were going to vibrate themselves off of her arms.

“Rey?” Ben asked.

“No thanks,” she replied, smiling at him. He beamed back at her, making her heart flutter. He was so handsome when he smiled.

She watched as he made his way back toward the caf heater, and when she turned back around, she saw the group watching her.

“What?” she asked.

“Nothing,” Finn said quickly, grabbing another bite of food.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So, how should we start?” Rey asked.

She and Ben were in her room again. After a long day of repairing transport shuttles on her part and testing recruits on his, they were settled comfortably in her quarters, ready to continue their discussion of the Force.

“Well, I’m not exactly sure,” Ben replied, carefully studying her. “Did you want to start with mental stuff, or physical stuff?”

“What do you mean by ‘physical stuff’?”

“Like, moving things with the Force.”

“THAT’S REAL?!?” she exclaimed. She had heard about Jedi’s using their minds to move things like rocks and whatnot, but she didn’t know that it was actually _true_.

Ben looked amused at her outburst.

“Well, yeah,” he said. “Here, watch.”

He turned to look at the paper book he lent her sitting on her bedside table. He seemed to focus and calm himself, and, suddenly, the book began to levitate, slowly rising and spinning as Ben seemed to control it with his mind.

“Holy kriffing bantha shit,” Rey cursed.

Ben lost his concentration, and the book fell as he laughed.

“Sorry,” he said, covering his mouth with his hand as he cracked up. “I’ve just never heard you curse before.”

Rey blushed.

“Sorry,” she muttered.

“Don’t be,” Ben said, waving his hand. “It was funny.”

“Will I seriously be able to do that?” she asked.

“Yeah, I’m sure you’ll pick it up pretty quickly, actually. Seeing as you’re good at everything.”

Rey pursed her lips skeptically.

“So how do you do it?”

“Hmm,” Ben hummed, studying her again. She was reminded that he had never had a friend to do this with him before, Force stuff. Teaching must be new to him too.

“Yesterday you said that you could feel where things were in space around you, right?”

“Yeah, most of the time,” she answered. She could at least feel a fuzzy outline of their shape.

“Good,” said, nodding. “That’s 70% of it. Now, I want you to close your eyes and feel for everything in this room.”

Rey obeyed, closing her eyes and reaching out, trying to get a sense for the position of everything in her quarters. She could feel a big, bright, pulsing energy from where Ben was sitting in front of her, and it was hard to ignore him and look further. But she managed to push on and feel the bed she was sitting on, the dresser standing behind Ben, her quarterstaff leaned up against the far wall.

“What are you feeling?” Ben asked quietly.

“I… I guess I’m just feeling… the stuff. It’s like the air is denser around it. Like there’s a thickness to the energy where everything is.”

“Good,” he repeated. “I’m going to stand up and move something. I want to see if you can tell what I’m moving and where I’m putting it.”

“Ok,” she replied. She was territorial when it came to her belongings, but she was surprised to realize that she didn’t really mind that Ben was going to touch her stuff. She trusted him.

She did her best to tune out her sense of hearing, she wanted to do this the right way instead of relying on her normal senses. She placed her hands over her ears, and focused.

She felt it immediately when Ben stood up and began moving. His blinding presence in the Force was hard to miss.

“Hey, Ben,” she said, uncovering her ears for a moment.

“Yeah?”

“Can you maybe… shield your presence when you do it? I can see you so clearly, I’ll know where you’re going...”

“Oh,” he said, surprised. “I totally forgot about myself, good call.”

She nodded and recovered her ears. Ben’s manifestation in the Force dimmed, and then disappeared. He really was good at hiding himself.

She turned her attention back to the objects in her room. Nothing seemed to change for a few seconds, but then she felt a slight shift from a spot towards the door on her left. She reached out again with her mind, and was able to wrap around a couple of things. There! There was something moving…

She probed as gently as she could, not wanting to overwhelm her senses. She felt the energy of something fairly small, fairly soft. It had fairly rounded edges, and a couple of harder surfaces. Her boots! One of her boots was definitely moving! She carefully tracked it, letting her probes embrace and follow it as Ben moved it across the room. She focused hard, letting the space and energy around her flood her senses. It was easy after the first few moments, everything seemed as clear as if her eyes were open. The boot eventually stopped, and returned to the ground next to the tall, angular dresser.

“You moved my boot to the left side of the dresser!” she yelled out excitedly.

She opened her eyes and uncovered her ears to see Ben looking at her with a slack jaw and wide eyes.

“Kriff, Rey! How did you do that!?”

She shrugged, wringing her hands together.

“I felt it, just like you said! Once I knew what I was trying to do, it was easy! I’ve never done that before!”

Ben shook his head, and gaped at her.

“I can’t believe it,” he said. “The Force comes so naturally to you.”

“Is that… ok?” she asked, a little worried over his tone.

“Yes, of course,” he replied quickly, shaking his head again. “Actually… do you mind…”

He walked back toward her and sat down. He reached his hand out toward her head.

“Can I…?” he asked, gesturing toward her forehead with his other hand.

“Oh, sure,” she answered, realizing what he was asking. He wanted to feel her the same way he’d invited her to feel him the night of the Sabacc game.

She grabbed his warm hand in hers, and placed his palm on her forehead. She watched him closely as he closed his eyes, his beautiful face so close to hers. She did her best to block out those thoughts, and instead thought about the room around them, what the boot felt like in her mind, how she tracked it as Ben had moved it.

She watched him smile as she replayed the memory, and something inside of her tightened as his smile only widened the more he saw.

“Wow,” he mumbled.

It wasn’t painful, or uncomfortable having him against her mind. He was gentle, almost a caress across her consciousness. It really wasn’t bad having him there.

After another few moments, he opened his eyes, and looked into hers.

“Amazing,” he whispered, his face now only inches from hers.

“Really?” she asked, still unsure of just how special she could possibly be.

Ben just retracted his hand, and used to it grab one of hers. He brought her palm up not to his forehead, but to his cheek. She gasped when she felt it, just how captivated he was by her ability. Although, maybe not just her ability. She could feel how strongly he felt just from looking at her, somehow. What exactly was causing that?

Rey thought about the woman, the woman he discussed with Poe, the one he was interested in. Surely she couldn’t compete with her, surely whatever he felt for this woman was a thousand times stronger than anything he could ever experience with her. She was starting to feel so attached to Ben, so in tune. She was exposing her heart, something she’d always guarded fiercely. Was it leading her to put too much hope in whatever was between them?

She pulled her hand back from his face, and he let her slip through his fingers. She couldn’t let herself connect with him so strongly, neither emotionally nor physically. She needed to avoid contact, touching. He was into someone else, and overreaching would only cause her more pain in the end.

“I… um…” she stammered, forcing herself to look away. “I think I’ve had enough for today. Maybe we can do this another time.”

She couldn’t look at him, but she felt the way Ben’s energy shifted. As if he had also realized that she wasn’t worth his time. It became blue, then black, before he quickly blocked himself again.

“Oh,” he said. “That’s… that’s fine.”

He sounded colder now, less spirited. Like he realized that she was just a nobody.

Rey felt a few tears bubble up to the surface, but she was able to control herself, and close herself off from Ben.

“I… uh… I’ll see you tomorrow, then?” he asked, standing up.

She finally turned back to him, but he was looking at the ground. He seemed displeased. Perhaps he was angry that she’d passed his test too quickly. Could that be it?

“Yeah, definitely,” she replied, standing up and leading him to her door. “Thanks for the lesson.”

Ben looked at her now, right into her eyes. He looked a little confused, maybe disappointed?

“Any time,” he answered simply before heading out the door. 

He didn’t look back at her as he left and walked down the hallway, though Rey waited a few seconds for him to do so. As he rounded the corner, she closed the door, and leaned against it. Whereas she had been so overjoyed just a minute earlier, she now felt inexplicably lonely, so empty, rejected even. This man had somehow invaded her very nature in a few short days, and she had torn down all of her walls to let him in. She was a fool. She wanted him so badly that she’d ignored the consequences. She had to find a way to deal with it, to cast out her emotions and regain control. Pain and isolation are inevitable, but she wasn’t going to walk toward them willingly.


	7. Han & Rose

“So,” Han said, approaching their group’s lunch table. “I hear you kids wanna take the Falcon on leave.”

“Welcome back,” Finn said. “How was your trip?”

The smuggler was back from his two-day supply run, and had apparently heard from the General about their request for leave together.

“Don’t change the subject, Big Deal,” Han admonished him, pointing his finger at him.

“Come on, Dad,” Ben said. “It’s just a few days.”

Han frowned at his son.

“A few days where anything could go drastically wrong,” he replied.

“I can rewire everything before we leave,” Rey supplied. “It’s a week from now, so I’ll be able to finish most of it.”

Poe, Rose, and Finn all chortled. Ben looked like he was trying really hard not to smile.

“Watch it, kid,” Han said, looking at her now. “Just because you’re helping doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want to her.”

“Oh, no,” she said, “I just meant that–”

“Lay off, Dad,” Ben interrupted. “You know what she meant.”

Han grunted.

“Fine,” he said. “At least you all will have _one_ competent mechanic with you in case anything goes wrong.”

“Hey!” Ben protested.

Han’s frown melted, and he actually winked at Rey. It appeared he was teasing his son again, and Rey had to keep herself from smiling too when she realized it was a joke.

“Just be careful with her,” he added, ruffling Ben’s hair. Ben swatted his hand away and shook his head to rearrange his hair in a way that was simply adorable.

“We can take BB-8 with us too,” Poe suggested. “As back up.”

Han nodded.

“At least your trip will give me some down time here with the Princess.”

Rey was startled for a moment. She’d never heard anyone actually refer to the General by her royal title. It seemed almost… sweet coming from Han, like it was more of a nickname than a term of reverence. She decided that she liked it, how he clearly loved his wife.

“Don’t worry, Mr. Solo,” Rose said. “I’ll make sure everyone behaves.”

Han laughed gruffly, and pointed over at Poe.

“Especially this one,” he said.

“Yes, especially that one,” Rose agreed with a giggle. Poe balked, his mouth open to argue, but the smuggler cut him off.

“Alright, lunch is calling, have a good day, kids,” he said, waving his goodbye as he made his way to the food line.

The group resumed talking about their plans for their trip. Rose and Poe in particular seemed the most passionate about forming their to-do list, so Rey was happy just to sit back and let her friends handle it. It wasn’t like she knew anything about Chandrila anyway, or really any full city or civilization. She took the opportunity to look over at Ben across the table, and she was, yet again, struck by how beautiful his smile was as he spoke, giving recommendations for their trip. He spotted her, and sent her a wink, looking extraordinarily like his father. She smirked, knowing that the fact she thought they were similar would annoy him. He was easy to tease.

That afternoon, Rey got her first opportunity to work on the Falcon. Unfortunately, Ben was nowhere to be seen, but she got to work directly with Han. She pinched herself a few times to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. The Millenium Falcon was a masterpiece. A poorly wired masterpiece, but a masterpiece nonetheless. She ate up Han’s stories as they worked side by side, some about the old Rebel Alliance with Chewie and Luke Skywalker, some more recent exploits with Ben… Rey loved hearing about Ben from his dad. He spoke about him with a well-disguised pride, making jokes about him while subtly listing his accomplishments.

“And the kid speaks, like, ten languages, he gets his smarts from his mom.”

Rey chuckled, enjoying Han’s self-deprecating humor.

“Has he always worked with you?”

Han’s face dropped a little bit.

“Well, he was in school when he was young, of course. Smarter than all the other kids. When he was a teenager he… went to his uncle for a while. Luke. But they didn’t really get along, and Ben decided to work with me instead. He and Luke have a good relationship now, Ben just wasn’t really into the whole Jedi thing.”

Rey nodded.

“Yeah, Ben told me that he didn’t really like it. That he prefers to not use the Force all the time.”

“Yup,” Han agreed. “He’s a Skywalker alright, he’s full of the Force stuff, but he wasn’t happy when he was training with Luke. Imagine that, a kid wanting to work with his old man instead of being a Jedi.”

Rey looked over to see Han grinning to himself. Her heart burst a little bit with joy at how happy Han seemed that Ben had decided to follow his and the General’s path. Rey was starting to learn what good parents were like, after watching Han and Leia. These were people that loved their child.

“I mean, who _wouldn’t_ want to become a smuggler?” she joked, lightening the mood.

“Hey! I’ll have you know that I do noble work now!” he smirked at her.

“That’s true,” she laughed.

Han looked thoughtful for a moment.

“You know… if we ever need another deckhand… maybe… you could join us?”

Rey’s breath caught in her throat.

“Are you serious?”

“Well, yeah. Now that Chewie’s retired, we could use some help now and then on our supply runs and missions. And Ben definitely likes you… so…”

“I’d love to!” she exclaimed. “If it’s alright with the General, of course.”

“Of course,” Han agreed cheekily. “Whatever she says, goes.”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rey was relaxing in her room after dinner when a knock came at her door. She opened it to find Rose.

“Hey Rey, can we talk?” she asked.

“Sure! What’s wrong?”

“Oh, no, nothing wrong,” Rose said, waving her hands. “I just wanted to catch up! We haven’t had time to hang out just the two of us in a while.”

Rey grinned, feeling lucky to have friends that actually cared to spend time with her. She waved Rose in, pulling her chair up to her bedside so that they could sit and chat.

“I know, it’s been a while. How are things over in engineering?”

“Pretty good,” Rose supplied. “We’re still trying to figure out how to upgrade the shielding on the bombers.”

“You guys work so hard over there.”

Rose shrugged.

“Not any harder than you! And what about you? How was the Falcon?!”

Rey couldn’t stop another wide grin.

“It was amazing,” she admitted. “The rewiring itself was fairly easy, but Han spent the whole time with me, and I got to hear all about his smuggling days and the Rebel Alliance and everything!”

“Awesome!” Rose enthused. “I had a feeling you two would get along.”

“Who’d have thought that _I_ would know _the_ Han Solo!”

Rose laughed.

“So what have you and Ben been up to? You two have spent a lot of time together this week.”

Rey felt a little heat creep up to her cheeks, but she tried to squash and embarrassment over her hidden feelings for him.

“Yeah,” she said simply. “He’s nice. It turns out we have a lot in common, so… I don’t know. We’re friends now I guess…”

Rose studied her for a moment.

“You have a lot in common?”

Well, really just the Force, she supposed. And fighting… and she found that she liked all the books that he lent her.

Rey shrugged.

“You’ve gotten rather close,” Rose added, a corner of her mouth lifting up a touch.

“I suppose...” Rey said. It was true that although they’d only known each other for a week, they had spent a lot of time together. And it was hard to imagine getting any closer to someone than being able to share the Force with them.

“Are you two… like… together?” Rose asked.

Rey paused.

“What do you mean?”

Rose grinned and rolled her eyes a little.

“I mean are you two in a relationship, dummy,” she clarified.

 _Oh_.

“No, it’s not like that,” Rey was quick to answer. “He’s into someone else. And besides, it’s not like he would ever like me like that… not that I care… I mean…”

Rose reached over to grab one of her hands, interrupting her.

“What makes you think he’s into someone else?” she asked gently.

“I… may of overheard him talking about her,” she replied, looking down. She wasn’t the proudest of eavesdropping on her new friend.

When she looked back up, Rose looked a bit perplexed.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” Rey answered. “He said that she was perfect for him. That sounds pretty serious to me.”

Rose frowned at that, and let out a hum.

“And how do _you_ feel about _him_?”

“Me?” Rey squeaked awkwardly.

Rose nodded patiently.

“Well… he’s… I mean the only thing… I…”

Rey stammered for a few moments, but then took a deep breath and collected herself. She could trust Rose. Rose had been there to help her adapt to living on base and around other people from the beginning, and never made fun of her or betrayed her. Rose was a good person. If there was anyone she could tell about what she was feeling with regard to Ben, it was her.

“To be honest,” she said more surely, “I’ve never felt more… connected to someone before. It’s like… like we understand each other.”

Rose squeezed her hand lightly, encouraging her to continue.

“I’m not interested in anyone else,” she admitted. “Just him.”

It was strange to admit out loud, the feelings she had been struggling with since she met him.

“It sounds pretty serious for you,” Rose replied with a kind tone.

“It is, I guess. I… we… I guess I can tell you… Ben has shown me that I… have the Force.”

Rey winced, waiting for Rose’s reaction. Her friend looked shell shocked for a few moments, jaw dropped, but then seemed to regain her composure.

“The Force? You have it?”

“Well,” Rey answered, “Ben said that technically everything ‘has’ the Force… some people are just more sensitive. And apparently, I’m really sensitive to it. That’s what we’ve spent most of our time talking about, the Force.”

“So… you have the Force?” Rose repeated, still looking a bit baffled.

Rey nodded.

“But… so…” Rose sputtered. “Rey, don’t you realize what this means?”

Rey cocked her head.

“Uh… no?”

“Rey!” Rose exclaimed. “Ben has _never_ met someone else with the Force besides his family. Can’t you see what’s going on here?”

Rey was awfully confused by her friend’s sudden fierce fervor. She shook her head.

“You two are _meant_ to be together! The kriffing _Force_ has intertwined your destinies.”

Rey didn’t believe in destiny, she believed in hard work, luck, and technology. What did her destiny have to do with anything?

“Uh…” she said. “Don’t you think that’s kind of… excessive? What… like the Force wants us to date or something?”

“Not just date,” Rose said, still eagerly bouncing in her seat. “Be partners in the Force, I don’t know… I don’t know much about that stuff, but Ben must have told you how rare it is to have what you have. Are you telling me that you don’t feel… united with him through the Force!?

Rey thought about it for a moment. She remembered feeling him, touching each other to enhance their connection, how intense it was to join their minds. She was beginning to realize how extraordinary it was.

“Yeah, I guess…” she answered. “But he’s interested in someone else. So it doesn’t matter how I feel.”

Rose shook her head this time.

“Honey, I don’t know what you heard, but Ben Solo is _not_ interested in someone else. Any fool can see the way he looks at you, like you hung the stars.”

“But… what?”

“Listen… I’ve known Ben for years now,” Rose said. “And it’s obvious something is different. Why don’t you try talking to him about it, about how you feel?”

“Oh… no… I couldn’t. What if… what if he doesn’t feel the same way?”

Rey didn’t think she could survive the rejection. She’d never bonded with someone so strongly, never wanted anyone more.

“You’ll never know unless you talk to him,” Rose answered. “If it were up to you two, you’d probably spend an eon dancing around each other. He’s always been shy, he’d never crack first. You should tell him.”

Rose seemed so confident, so sure. And she had never steered her wrong before. Maybe Rey could try some subtle attempts… to see how Ben would respond. She didn’t want to scare him off, after all.

“I suppose I could try…” she relented.

Rose squealed, and smiled hard.

“Trust me, Rey,” she said. “I know he has feelings for you.”

Rey looked down, a bit afraid. 

“Rose I… I’ve never… been in a relationship or… _done_ anything.”

“Oh… _oh_ ,” her friend responded. “Don’t worry, Rey. Just go with what you feel. You’re kind, and funny. Just be yourself! And when it comes to physical stuff… just be honest with him. I’m sure he’ll be patient, understanding. You know how nice he is.”

Rey blushed, a little embarrassed to be talking about physical stuff with Rose. Everyone here had way more experience, had grown up around other people. She knew about sex, and she’d certainly masturbated before, but she’d never even come close to even kissing anyone. Surely Ben wouldn’t want to do anything with someone like her.

“Thanks, Rose,” she said, at least thankful for her friend’s advice.

“You’re welcome,” her friend replied cheerily. “I just want to see my friends happy. And you and Ben make each other happy.”

When Rey thought about it, she realized it was true. She was always happiest when she was with Ben, or when they caught eyes across the cafeteria table. Rey desperately hoped that Rose was right, that he did in fact like her. Maybe his feelings could grow to match her own. She’d have to be careful. She didn’t want to ruin their friendship, after all. And she would have to figure out what he was talking about when he talked about the perfect woman for him. Rose seemed convinced that she must have misheard, but she was fairly certain that she heard Ben and Poe correctly. She needed some kind of hint or sign.


	8. There's Another

“Good!”

Rey stepped back to catch her breath. Ben was certainly not going easy on her. He seemed determined to improve her technique. Though it was only their second time sparring together, he knew exactly how to push her, where her weaknesses laid. She fiddled with the practice staff in her hands, wiping the middle against her shirt to wipe off some of the sweat. 

“Want to switch to a saber?” Ben asked. 

She looked up at him, noticing the sweat at his brow. At least he seemed to be working as hard as she was. He had his hands at his knees, leaning over to catch his own breath.

“I’ve… never fought with one.”

Ben shrugged, straightening up and making his way over to the other side of the gym. 

“Now’s the time to learn, then.”

He stalked over to the weapons closet, picking out a practice saber a bit shorter than his own. He placed his own back in the rack, and walked back toward her. The handle looked tiny in his hand, almost like a child’s toy. 

He handed it to her, and her hand trembled with nerves as she reached out to take it. It’s balance was unfamiliar to her, and she suddenly felt a strange fear of disappointing Ben if she did not fight well with it. She gripped it awkwardly, her hands far closer together than she was used to with her staff. 

“Here, I’ll show you how to hold it,” Ben said, stepping around her. 

Rey began to turn with him, but suddenly he was behind her, blocking her in. She felt his warmth before his touch. His hands reached around her, gently grazing her wrists before landing on top of her own around the saber. She couldn’t catch the small gasp that escaped her when their hands touched, nor the falling feeling in her stomach when his chest pressed up against her back. She froze, unaccustomed to such intimate contact. His fingers wrapped around her own, and she felt his heart beat fiercely against the space between her shoulder blades. It set her own heart beating faster, and it felt like electricity was arcing where they touched.

“The grip isn’t too different from your staff,” he said, his growly voice reverberating through his chest and into her spine. “Hold it like you would a small bird. Not so hard that you’ll crush it, but firm enough to keep it from flying away.”

She felt a small shudder when his breath crossed her ear, and her neck. He arranged her fingers around the handle, squeezing her grip to tighten it, and then letting go. Her hands felt colder without his holding them. He stayed at her back, moving his palms to her upper arms, and continued to speak lowly into her ear.

“That’s good,” he said, Rey’s stomach fluttering at his approval. “Now, obviously since this is a practice saber, there’s a physical blade. But on a real lightsaber, there’s an energy blade. You won’t feel the weight of it in your hands. You’ll have to rely on the Force. I want you to close your eyes, and use the Force to sense the dimensions of the practice saber, where the blade is in space as you move it.”

She obeyed his command, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. She felt her ribcage expand and contract against his stomach, and her shoulders rise and fall under his hands. She bit her lip as he felt him step even closer into her, now spanning her lower back, and, to her embarrassment, bringing her ass into his crotch. Is this how everyone learned? It seemed odd that Ben’s uncle would have been touching him like this, but what did Rey know? Ben was the almost-Jedi.

“Reach out, now,” Ben crooned into her ear, making her erupt in goosebumps. She hoped that he didn’t notice how strongly he affected her. She had never known that she was so sensitive.

She refocused, pulling on the energy around her to reach out with the Force. She had to ignore Ben’s blinding light, again, and tune in to the weapon in her hands. She focused first on the handle. Although she could feel it in her hands, she tried to define it in the Force-space, the small grooves in it, it’s weight. Then she isolated the blade. It was a rounded, blunt thing. More like a light section of pole. But she wrapped her probes around it anyway, becoming familiar with it, feeling its presence. She had seen holos of lightsabers before. She knew that she would have to rely on her skill with the Force for it to feel balanced in her hands.

“Yes,” Ben encouraged from behind her. “While you train with the practice saber, keep this feeling in mind. You won’t have the physical mass to sense the behavior of the lightsaber, its use is intertwined with your connection to the Force.”

Rey nodded, reminded again of his warm embrace at her back. She felt heat rise to her cheeks as his hands slowly trailed down from her shoulders back to her hands. The touch was so intimate, it made her vulnerable. But, for the first time, she didn’t feel weak, or exposed. She wasn’t afraid of his touch, of letting him so close to her. If anything, she wanted more. She wanted to know where else he could touch that would set her nerves ablaze.

“First we’ll practice forms,” he murmured softly. Rey felt his lips graze ever so lightly along the side of her neck, and something deep in her stomach stirred. “Not unlike your staff. But I’ll teach you the proper Jedi names and techniques. If you’re going to learn to use a lightsaber, its best to learn the proper technique, even if you’re not going to be a Jedi.”

She nodded again. He could have asked anything of her in this moment and she would have obliged. She was powerless under his touch. Was he really so unaffected? Here she was, a trembling mess, and he was probably completely impervious to touch that must be common in his life. _She_ was the odd one. The one who’d gone without touch for so long. This was probably nothing to him.

He stepped away then, leaving a cold draft at her back, and a small whimper escaped her, to her mortification. She tried her best to cover it with a cough, praying that he didn’t notice.

He retrieved his own practice saber and began to teach her the basic forms. His body lunged and extended beautifully. It was hard to focus on her own when his muscles were flexing and his limbs were gracefully arched right in front of her.

Occasionally, he’d step up to her to correct her form. A hand on her thigh, a finger to lift up her chin. His hand grazed her stomach as he instructed her to engage her core, and he laid a caress down the length of her spine when lecturing about proper alignment. Sweat wasn’t the only thing that had her wet by the end of the session. Mercifully, it eventually ended when it was time to clean up and head to breakfast. Rey was just glad that no one else had been in the gym this morning. Surely they would have noticed how utterly smitten she was, how she’d been reduced to jelly.

She took a cold shower, resisting the urge to touch herself. It would have to wait for later, in the privacy of her quarters, when she wasn’t in a rush. Maybe she should have sex. Then maybe she wouldn’t be so overly affected by what was probably a very normal training session.

The problem was the only person she wanted to have sex with was Ben. And she still wasn’t entirely sure that he wasn’t head over heels for some other woman, the one he had been discussing with Poe. Rey probably wasn’t even a blip on his radar in terms of romantic interests. She looked down at her body. Although she’d gained weight since coming to base, she still didn’t offer anything particularly enticing. Her breasts were small, flat. She lacked curves. There were ugly scars from speeder accidents and falling while picking fallen star destroyers. She’d never really compared her body to others’ before arriving on base, she’d never known enough people to do so. All the women at the Resistance seemed light years’ more attractive than her. She doubted she would be high on Ben’s list as someone to sleep with.

She sighed. She recalled her conversation with Rose. Her friend had seemed so convinced that Ben liked her. And Rose had always been a huge help to her, had taught her everything she knew about living with so many other people. Could she be right? Could Ben actually like her, even though she paled in comparison to nearly everyone else? 

Maybe she needed to take action. She wasn’t the type of person to sit idly by, waiting for something to happen. She controlled her own life. Maybe she needed to grapple this new experience head on. The only problem was that she hadn’t the foggiest notion of what to do. Rose had suggested just being honest, speaking with Ben about how she felt. She just had to work up the nerve to do it.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So,” Han Solo said, passing a small spanner wrench to her as she laid beneath a control panel in the left mandible of the Millennium Falcon. “Ben tells me that he’s been training you. I didn’t know that you had the Force too.”

“It’s… a new thing,” she replied, jiggling the wrench on an over-tightened nut. “Ben discovered that I have it. I didn’t even know the Force was real before he told me about it.”

Han chuckled good-naturedly. 

“You’re preaching to the choir, kid,” he said. “I would have bet this ship that it wasn’t real before I met Luke. All that Force mumbo jumbo stuff is way over my head.”

Rey laughed. She liked Han a lot. She wished she could have had a father like him.

“Did you meet Luke first, before the General?” she asked.

“Yup. He hired me to take him off Tatooine. Somehow our plans devolved and I got caught up in a plan to save a princess. The rest is history.”

Rey smiled. She imagined Han seeing Leia for the first time. She couldn’t imagine that the General would ever need much help in saving herself.

“Well that worked out for you, didn’t it?”

Han laughed again, taking the wrench from her outstretched hand and passing her a rag to wipe the congealed grease from the bolt.

“Yes, it did. Now, thirty five years later, we have an adult son. And now he’s the one teaching someone else about the Force. Life is funny that way.”

“Did he… did he say anything else about me?” Rey asked curiously. She wondered what else Ben told his dad about her.

She peeked over at Han to see him smirking. He handed her a set of pliers.

“Why? Did you do something bad?”

“What? No! I just… we just…”

“I’m just messing with you, kid,” Han said, grinning. “He just told me about training you. About how much he likes you.”

Rey’s heart skipped a beat, and she nearly dropped the pliers on her face.

“How much… what?”

“I’ve never seen him so excited before. He’s never met someone his age with the Force before.”

Rey felt herself deflate. Right. The Force. That was what made her special to Ben.

“Oh, yeah,” she said, picking at some old wire.

“You know,” Han said, “you should take it easy on the kid. He’s a mess when he’s got a crush, and I’ve never seen him this bad before.”

Rey’s mouth parted, and her heart fell in her chest. Han just confirmed it, Ben was in love with someone else. And apparently Rey was being a nuisance. Even Ben’s dad knew that she was consuming too much of Ben’s time, time he would clearly rather be spending with his crush.

“Oh… uh… I guess I’ll… I didn’t mean to…”

Han laughed again.

“Don’t sweat it, kid. He takes after his old man, he can’t resist a powerful woman.”

Powerful? Could that be some sort of hint of who Ben was into? Rey racked her brain, trying to think of anyone on base that might match the description. Admiral Holdo was powerful, she supposed, though not exactly in the correct age range (not that she would judge). There was the spy she’d met once, Vi Moradi. She was cool, collected, and remarkably confident. But she hadn’t been on base in over a month, so it would be hard to tell. Maybe Cova Nell? She was a pilot, and her friends often teased Poe that he was the second-best pilot in the Resistance, after her. Maybe Ben would be interested in a powerful pilot…

“Kid?” Han asked, pulling her out of her brainstorm.

“What?”

“I asked if you think you could finish up here without me… Leia just paged me…”

“Oh, sure, no problem,” she answered quickly. To be honest, she hadn’t really needed his help to begin with, but she got the feeling that he didn’t like people working on his ship without supervision. And besides, she enjoyed talking to him.

“Thanks. When the Princess calls, I come running.”

Rey smiled at him as he ducked out of the mandible. She let out a sigh as she heard his footsteps fade away. Maybe she ought to refuse Ben’s offers for training, or Force lessons. He probably felt obligated to offer them to her, like some sort of weird Force-bound duty. But it sounded like he would rather be spending time with this powerful woman he liked. She craved his company like she craved a big, warm meal. And that was saying a lot. She didn’t want to give him up, especially to another woman. It stirred up something ugly and jealous inside of her. She huffed and quickly finished up rewiring the sensor jammer. Fixing stuff always made her feel better.

She felt a little more calm by the time she finished. She carefully put all of her tools back into her belt, and held the flashlight in her mouth as she crawled out of the long tunnel of the mandible. She was already daydreaming about a shower and dinner by the time she was stepping out of the tunnel.

“How’s it goi–”

Rey jumped in surprise at the voice, so hard that she snapped her head upwards into the top of the tunnel. It was only a microsecond before she fell, her vision fading to black as a pair of arms caught her.


	9. Healing

“Rey?” a soft voice echoed in her head. It was deep, and soothing.

Rey slowly opened her eyes, blinking against the overhead light.

“Wha–?” she croaked as she awakened. There was something warm and heavy against her forehead.

Her mind began to pick up as she took in her surroundings. She didn’t recognize the ceiling above her, and she was laying on something a bit more comfortable than her own bed.

“Rey?” the low voice murmured again.

Rey tilted her head up, squinting to see Ben leaning over her. She quickly laid back down and stared up at him. His hand remained on her forehead, his thumb rubbing soothing circles against it.

“What happened?” she asked. The last thing she remembered was being startled by a noise as she was crawling out of the Falcon mandible.

“I think I surprised you, you hit your head and passed out. I’m sorry…”

Rey looked around her then, and it took her a few moments to recognize where she was.

“This is your room,” she said simply. 

She was still on the Falcon, but now she was laying on Ben’s bed in his cabin.

Ben nodded, his dark, lush hair caressing his cheeks.

“I figured you wouldn’t want to be seen in the med bay, so I just carried you here and healed you. You don’t have a concussion or anything. I checked.”

“You… healed me?” she asked, slowly sitting up as Ben retracted his hand and kneeled next to the bed.

She didn’t even have a headache. How did he do it?

Ben nodded.

“I used the Force.”

“The Force can _heal_!?”

Ben chuckled, as he was wont to do whenever she was surprised by that one could do with the Force.

“Yup,” he answered. “I can only do some minor healing, but my uncle can heal serious stuff, like blaster wounds.”

“Wow,” she whispered, bringing her hand up to her head. She couldn’t even feel a bump. “You’ll have to teach me someday.”

“I’d love to,” he replied instantly. He was always so confident when it came to making plans for the future with her, as if they’d always be in the same place, when she knew it was unlikely, that he would have to leave base soon, or the war would separate them somehow.

“Thanks,” she murmured shyly.

“I’m sorry I startled you–,” he began.

“Don’t be,” she said, waving her hand. “Normally I’m a lot more observant than that. I don’t usually scare easily. I was daydreaming about dinner, I think.”

Ben laughed, forming adorable lines at the corners of his mouth, up into his cheeks. They were in an intimate position, her sitting on his bed, him kneeling on the ground in front of her. It made her want to reach out and run her fingers through his hair. Maybe lean down and kiss him.

“Do you ever sense people coming through the Force?” he asked.

Rey thought about it for a moment, scanning through her memories from Jakku. She could remember a few times, when she was picking old ships, where she felt an odd sense of recognition, that someone was approaching her, or nearby. She’d needed to be extra vigilant there in the desert.

“Yeah, I guess I do,” she said. “I guess I feel a lot safer here, so I haven’t been paying much attention to it.”

Ben’s smile faded a bit, before he pursed his lips and continued.

“Well, we’ll have to get you used to my signature, so that you can sense when I’m coming and I don’t startle you again.”

“Sure,” Rey laughed. “Although I don’t think I’ll have any trouble getting used to your signature.”

Ben smirked, and then stood and offered his hand to her.

“Well,” he said. “I think dinner has started, if you want to join me.”

Rey’s stomach grumbled exactly on cue, and Ben laughed as she took his hand and stood up. He held onto her for a moment as she stood, and she realized that he was making sure she was balanced, wasn’t dizzy or anything. He was always so incredibly sweet to her. She was tempted to grab hold of him and shove him down on the bed, and maybe crawl in after him, but she quickly waved that idea away. She also hated to let go of his hand, but did so as they walked out of Ben’s cabin and out of the Falcon.

As they walked to dinner, Rey remembered what she had been discussing with Han before her unfortunate accident.

“You know,” Rey said to Ben. “if there’s someone else you wanted to take on this trip instead… I wouldn’t mind staying on base.”

She really didn’t _want_ to say it, but she forced herself to. She had spent the past few days contemplating Ben’s interest in another woman. Han had made it clear that she was in the way, or at least taking up too much of Ben’s time. She decided she would let Ben invite this mystery woman on this trip instead of her. It was the right thing to do, she only wanted him to be happy.

Ben looked over at her, cocking his head.

“I… what?”

“The trip, to Chandrila. If you wanted to invite someone else, I really wouldn’t mind staying behind.”

Ben just looked at her with a furrowed brow.

“Do you… not want to go?” he asked.

“No… I mean… I do… but if there’s not enough room for me… or if you wanted to take someone else…” she trailed off. She was trying to let him off the hook here, but he wasn’t making it easy.

“I thought you wanted to see more of the galaxy,” he said, now halting his steps to turn toward her.

“I do! But… I don’t know. I can do that another time. Don’t you… want to invite someone else?”

Surely he would catch on to her hint.

Instead, he just gaped at her, looking thoroughly confused.

“Why would I want to invite someone else?”

Rey huffed. She was just trying to be helpful, but he seemed oblivious to the opportunity she was presenting him.

“Don’t you want to invite someone more… interesting?” she asked, lacing her voice with suggestion.

She reached out to try to feel his energy, but he was blocked off, as usual. She reinforced her own defenses in order to conceal the hurt this was causing her.

“Someone… more interesting?” he repeated, squinting at her.

Kriff, he was dense.

“Yeah,” she replied simply. 

She gave him a few seconds, hoping he would figure it out.

“I…” he said eventually, “want to go with you.”

“O– oh,” Rey said stupidly. The statement stirred a few butterflies in her stomach, which she was quick to stomp out.

“Are you sure?”

“Am I sure?” he repeated. “Of course I’m sure… Rey– what is this about?”

Rey sighed. She didn’t want to have to come right out and say it. It was awkward. She’d really rather not discuss his object of affection with him. It hurt too much.

“I’m just wondering… I mean… surely I wouldn’t be your first choice to go with you?”

That was about as direct as she could get.

But Ben still didn’t seem to get it.

“You are,” he countered. “My first choice.”

He looked sincere. His deep, earnest eyes were boring into her, so intensely that she had to drop her gaze to her floor.

“If… if you’re sure,” she said quietly. She couldn’t deny how special it made her feel to hear him say that. And he said it so convincingly– it was hard to believe it wasn’t true. It was clear he liked her as a friend, but she couldn’t imagine why that would make her his first choice.

“I am,” he said sternly. She looked up again to find no hesitation, no doubt in his expression.

“Ok,” she acquiesced. She couldn’t keep a small smile from erupting on her face. She was glad she would get to go on the trip. And no one could accuse her of not trying to let Ben have more time with his love interest.

“There’s so much I want to show you,” Ben said. “On Chandrila.”

“I’m really excited,” she admitted.

“Then why are you trying to give up your spot?” he asked, with a kind, patient smile, resuming their trek to the cafeteria.

Rey just shrugged.

“Just making sure I won’t be in the way.”

“You could never be in the way,” Ben replied quickly. “I want you– I mean… we all want you there.”

Rey blushed. It was always nice to be reminded that her friends did actually like her.

“Thanks,” she mumbled.

“Question,” Ben posed. “How do you feel about swimming?”

Swimming? Like… in water?

“Uh…” she said. “I… don’t know how.”

Ben paused, a small hint of blue washing out from him.

“Would you like to learn?” he asked after a moment, his gentle smile returning.

“Oh… I don’t know…” Rey said, nervous.

“I bet you’ll be a natural at it,” Ben said. “Like with everything else.”

Rey thought about it. It _would_ be a very useful skill to have.

“I’m… a little scared,” she admitted. The idea of an endless sea of water was pretty terrifying. She’d never seen so much water combined in her life than she saw flying over Devaron, the planet their base was on.

“I can teach you,” Ben replied. “And don’t worry, I won’t let you drown. I’ll hold you until you’re comfortable enough to do it on your own.”

Rey gulped, imagining Ben’s wide hands around her in the water. Perhaps touching more skin than ever before.

“I don’t have a swimsuit,” she said.

“We can get you one on Chandrila,” he suggested.

Rey liked the way he said ‘ _we_ ’.

“Well,” Rey said, “I guess we can do it then. But you have to promise to not let me drown.”

“I promise,” he said with a roguish smirk. “Smuggler’s honor.”

She smacked him in the chest, laughing.

“That doesn’t mean anything!”

“I know, I know, I’m joking!” he said, grabbing her hand and leading it behind his back around his waist. He flung his own arm over her shoulders. “I promise I won’t let you go.”

Rey blushed, the simmering heat between their bodies sending a shiver across her body. Her stomach was doing flip flops imagining how he would hold her in the water, the way she would cling to him… She should be embarrassed by how strongly his simple touch made her mind whirl and her heart flutter, but instead she just tried to savor it. Who knew how many opportunities she would get after he finally went after his crush? She felt a little greedy, craving him this way, but it was simply too tempting to resist.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rey entered the main hangar the next day after lunch to find Finn at Rose’s station. She walked over in their direction to chat with them.

“That’s an awful plan!” Rose’s voice echoed across the bay.

“No it’s not! It works in all the holos!” Finn replied.

They seemed to be arguing, or at least debating. They didn’t see Rey approaching.

“Bed-sharing is just a trope. It doesn’t work like that in real life. I don’t want to make them uncomfortable,” Rose said.

What was bed-sharing? And who was she trying to avoid making uncomfortable?

“Well if you have any better ideas…” Finn sighed.

“I have plenty of ideas!” Rose said. “There will be plenty of opportunities to give them alone time. You know, like in romantic settings…”

Rey just _had_ to know what they were talking about.

“Hey guys!” she greeted them.

Her friends turned around, both with fear-stricken expressions on their faces.

“Oh! Hey!” Finn said, a little too loudly, Rose wincing next to him.

“Whatcha talking about?”

“Nothing,” Rose said.

“The weather,” Finn said at the same time.

Rose looked over at Finn with a glare.

“The… weather?” Rey asked.

“Yeah, nice day out today,” Rose said pointedly.

It was just about as hot and humid as it always was. And they _definitely_ weren’t talking about weather before she interrupted them. Were they talking about a secret? She felt a little hurt that they wouldn’t want to share it with her, but they deserved their privacy as much as anyone else. She would just have to be left wondering.

“Yeah, it is,” she said, a little dejectedly. “So, are you excited for our trip tomorrow?”

“So excited!” Rose said enthusiastically. “We’re going to have so much fun!”

“I can’t wait!” Finn agreed.

Rey smiled.

“Do you know what time we’re planning on leaving?”

“Probably pretty early,” Finn answered, “I think Ben said something about 07:00.”

That certainly wasn’t early for her, but she understood most people liked to sleep in on their days off.

“Great, I’ll still have time to train, then.”

“I don’t know how you do that every morning,” Rose said, shaking her head with a grin. “I’m lucky if I work out twice a week, and that’s usually after dinner.”

“I’ve always gotten up early,” Rey explained, shrugging.

“It’s probably easier since you have a partner to train with now,” Finn said. “Ben’s been working you pretty hard, huh?”

She saw Rose glare at Finn again. Something was going on between them, but there wasn’t too much to their energies besides their normal hues. And she didn’t want to dive into their minds, she had learned just how bad that was, a huge betrayal of trust.

“Yeah, he’s been pushing me,” she replied. “He’s actually really well-trained. He’s a good teacher.”

“Yeah, is he... teaching you a lot?” Finn asked, with a strange tone.

Rose glared at him even harder.

“Well, yeah,” Rey responded, a bit confused. “He even said he’s going to let me handle his lightsaber soon.”

Finn erupted into giggles. Rose elbowed him, and appeared to be stifling her own laughter as well.

“I bet he will,” Finn said through his snickers. “I bet he’s dying to let you handle his lightsaber.”

Rose couldn’t contain her amusement anymore, though she punched Finn in the arm while laughing. Were they laughing at her? Rey couldn’t think of anything funny that she’d said. She felt a bit embarrassed. Maybe she had missed some sort of social cue she hadn’t learned yet. She frowned, she didn’t enjoy being laughed at.

“I’m sorry,” Rose said, still giggling a little bit. “We’re not laughing at you, I promise.”

Her friend had seemed to detect her discomfort, at least.

“Yeah,” Finn agreed. “Just an inside joke. Force knows I don’t work out enough.”

“You guys are welcome to join us,” Rey suggested.

“Oh, no,” Finn said, waving his hands. “I couldn’t get up that early. That’s crazy.”

Rey chuckled, amused by their dismay at her early mornings.

“Well,” Rose said. “Sorry to kick you guys out, but I’ve got to get back to work,” she said, pointing to her station.

“Yeah, me too,” Finn sighed.

“Same,” Rey chimed in.

Only one more work session before their trip! Rey couldn’t wipe the grin off of her face as she walked over to her side of the hangar.


	10. Arriving on Chandrila

Rey could barely contain her excitement as she walked onto the Millenium Falcon with her packed bag. She was finally going to see another part of the galaxy! Not that she hadn’t enjoyed being on Devaron, her first planet other than Jakku, but she was dying to see more. And from what her friends had described, Chandrila had real cities. They were going to the capital, Hanna City, where Ben was born and partially raised. She was a little nervous, being around that many people, so vulnerable without any knowledge of the customs or safety. But when she had expressed her concerns to Ben, he had promised to not leave her side. She loved him for that, how he was so kind and made every effort to take care of her. She’d been fiercely independent her whole life, but it was nice to have someone she could count on to help her when she needed it, especially in such a new world.

“Rey’s here!” Poe joyfully greeted her as she walked up the gangway. “Let’s get this party started!”

“No parties on my ship!” she heard Han yell from down the hallway.

Rey laughed as Poe rolled his eyes.

“Hi!” Rose said cheerily as she rounded the corner. “Are you excited?”

“Very,” Rey enthused, placing her bag into a small hold.

“I borrowed some extra leggings and sweaters from Kaydel for you, just in case you get cold. They’re in the main cabin.”

“Thank you! Remind me to thank Kaydel when we get back.”

Finn appeared behind them, shuffling up the gangway slowly, his eyes puffy.

“Why did we agree to leave this early again?” he asked, yawning. He was clearly not a morning person, and Rey knew for a fact he had spent his night before leave playing Sabacc with Snap and some of his other friends.

“Because,” Ben said, popping out to meet them all. “We only get a few days off, so we should take advantage of it. It’ll only be about four hours to Chandrila, just in time for lunch. I’m ready to go when you all are.”

Ben looked extremely handsome. His hair was perfectly swept, and he wore beige tunic with a v-neck deep enough to expose some of the beauty marks on his chest… He’d certainly cleaned up nicely after his workout with Rey earlier that morning, she couldn’t deny it, nor keep her eyes from wandering across his collarbone and down his pecs. 

Han suddenly walked out from behind him, and made eye contact with everyone as he put a hand on the wall next to him, rubbing a circle on it.

“Not a scratch on her, ok?” he asked seriously.

They all nodded. Rey in particular agreed in earnest.

“I double checked everything this morning, so there should be no problems with the ship,” he continued. “If you run into any trouble, Ben is in charge.”

“But I outrank him!” Poe complained, looking half-serious.

“Not on this ship you don’t!” Han countered, scoffing.

Ben smirked, looking pretty self-satisfied.

“But if anything _breaks_ ,” his dad continued, pointing to the girls, “Rey and Rose are in charge.”

“Hey!” Ben protested as the rest of the group broke into laughter.

“Don’t ‘hey’ me,” Han said, turning toward his son. “You didn’t even _notice_ that the fore shields were lagging. I’m trusting the engineer and the mechanic on this one.”

Rey and Rose smiled at each other smugly. Han entrusting her with the mechanical integrity of the Falcon is not something Rey would forget soon. And she would always remember the week she spent rewiring it with him.

“Fine,” Ben relented, throwing his hands in the air. “Now will you get out? We need to hit the skies.”

“Alright, alright, I’m out of here,” Han said, walking down the gangway. “Love you, son!”

“Bye!” Ben said, waving, turning toward the button to close the latch.

“Say you love me too!” Han teased before stepping off, not allowing his son to close up without responding.

“Love you,” Ben said stiffly, glaring at his dad. 

“Have fun kids,” Han yelled as he finally stepped into the hangar. “But not too much fun!”

The group waved their goodbyes as Poe teased Ben.

“ _Love you, Benny boo_.”

“Shut up,” Ben said, the tips of his ears turning ever so slightly pink. 

Poe just reached up and squeezed Ben’s cheek, cooing at him. Finn, Rey, and Rose cracked up as Ben shoved his arm away, rubbing at his freshly squeezed cheek.

“I don’t even know why I still hang out with you,” he grumbled.

“Because I’m your best friend,” Poe replied simply, walking into the main cabin. He took a seat and propped his feet up on the Dejarik table. 

Ben frowned, following him and pushing his feet off the table.

“What are you doing? Let’s go,” he said, gesturing toward the cockpit.

“How about we let Rey co-pilot instead?” Poe asked lightly. 

The whole group looked at Rey, who was shocked at the suggestion. Her? Co-pilot the _Millenium Falcon_?

“Me?” she asked.

“Why not?” Poe asked.

Rey looked at Ben, who was glaring fiercely at Poe. Finn and Rose were looking between the two of them, looking slightly nervous. They were pointedly avoiding eye contact with Rey.

“Uh…” Ben said.

Rey was able to discern that he wasn’t too enthusiastic about the idea. Which made sense, given how inexperienced she was. They were back in the same conundrum they were in at lunch the other day, when Poe suggested something similar.

“I don’t… you don’t have to…” she began.

“Come on, Ben!” Poe exclaimed. “She’s almost as good of a pilot as me! Which makes her at least twice as good as you!”

“That’s not what…,” Ben said. “I know she’s good… I’m sure she…”

He continued to stutter for a while, looking between her and Poe. After a few moments, Rose interrupted.

“Ben?” she asked gently and slowly. “Would you _like_ Rey to co-pilot with you?”

Ben blinked a few times, still clearly baffled, now looking at Rose in confusion.

What was wrong? Was he really that strongly opposed to her flying with him? Why couldn’t he just say that? She wouldn’t mind, she wouldn’t take it personally.

“You see, Rey,” Poe began, “Han has this rule. Ben can only let a gir–”

“ALRIGHT!” Ben yelled, interrupting. Rey jumped at his loud outburst.

“Rey?” he asked quickly. “Let’s go.”

He hastily placed a hand on her back, leading her out of the main cabin and toward the cockpit.

“What was that about?” she asked as they shuffled away. “What’s Han’s rule?”

“Ignore him,” Ben said, sounding annoyed. “Poe’s just messing around.”

“Is it a rule I need to know? If I’m going to co-pilot?”

Ben shook his head, leading her to the co-pilot’s seat on the right hand side of the cockpit before sitting down in the captain’s chair himself.

“No,” he said firmly. “Don’t worry about it. Can you put in the coordinates for Chandrila?”

Rey decided to let it go, completing his request as he fired up the engines.

“I meant to ask Han… have you always had such strong cloaking on the Falcon? The generators for it look new, at least compared to the rest of the ship.”

Ben chuckled as he continued to flip switches and press buttons in a routine that looked well-practiced.

“Unfortunately, the Falcon is too recognizable. We have to cloak it as long and as often as we can. My dad refuses to use another ship– this ship is the perfect mix of freight capacity, speed, and agility, anyway, so there’s not really a match for it with what we do. The cloaking was added to it about 10 years ago, when my mom started the Resistance.”

So Ben was about her age when his mom formed the Resistance. That must have been exciting.

They worked quietly for a while as they left the hangar, flying slowly out of atmosphere. Rey watched as the planet shrunk underneath her, blown away by its intense, beautiful shade of green.

“Bye, Devaron,” she muttered, making Ben smile.

“Don’t worry, we’ll be back too soon. I wish we had longer than a few days. I would take you to so many places.”

“You would?” Rey asked. He would want to?

“Yeah, although I wouldn’t want to bring the whole gang,” he answered with a chuckle, throwing a thumb back toward the main cabin. “It would be nice if it was just us, touring the galaxy.”

Rey was left speechless. She knew that she and Ben were friends, but hadn’t realized that he liked her _that_ much.

“That _would_ be nice,” she agreed quickly, not needing to give it much thought.

“Hopefully we’ll get the chance, one day,” he added. Rey looked over at him as they flew further away from the planet. He was looking straight ahead, but Rey could see a small grimace on his lips. Was he embarrassed to say that? He needn’t be.

“Hey, Ben?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m glad I met you,” she said simply. 

He looked over at her then, and seemed to study her for a moment.

“Same here,” he said eventually, turning back toward the viewport with one of his unfairly handsome smiles. “Let’s jump to lightspeed now.”

Rey nearly bounced up and down in her seat at the reminder that they would be hurtling through hyperspace, and that she would be at the helm for it. She didn’t hesitate to reach out and begin prepping the hyperdrive while Ben made the final adjustments to their course.

“When you’re ready,” he said, nodding toward the hyperdrive lever.

“Me!?” she asked disbelievingly.

“Absolutely,” he grinned at her.

She laughed in delight as she had to practically stand up to reach the lever to bring them up to lightspeed. She gave Ben one last look for confirmation.

“Punch it,” he said with a sly grin.

She gladly obliged, her breath catching as she watched the stars race by them as they entered hyperspace.

“Wow,” she whispered, sitting back down in her seat, gawking at the swirling, abstract view of space around her.

“Pretty great, isn’t it?”

He was watching her closely, and Rey felt a little embarrassed at how naive she must seem. This was only the second time she’d travelled at lightspeed, the first being on the transport that took her from Jakku to Devaron, and she hadn’t had a front seat view.

“Yeah,” she mumbled, trying to tame her reaction.

Ben reached over and grabbed her hand then, pulling at it. She no longer reflexively swatted it away, she was used to it by now. She supposed she’d been conditioned to trust him. It was nice to feel safe with someone.

“Come on, I want to show you something,” he said, standing and leading her out of the cockpit.

He gently pulled her by the hand after him through the main cabin. Poe had already broken into some kind of snack, and Rose and Finn were laying down on the couches, letting him throw pieces of something into their mouths. For once, Rey didn’t feel a strong urge to try to get a piece of the food. She wasn’t hungry, and she trusted that she could have something when she was. She was happy enough just to follow Ben. Their three friends barely spared them a glance as Ben led her into his cabin. He walked them over to the spot beside his bed, and he pointed to a small viewport. It was nothing major, but provided a wonderful glimpse into the stars streaking by, different than the cockpit.

“I grew up looking through here every night,” he said lowly. 

Rey sat down on his bed to soak in the view, conjuring up an image of a young Ben, curled up in this very cabin, watching as hyperspace blurred by. Ben sat down next to her, _right_ next to her. His body heat was comforting at her side, a contrast to the coldness of open space. 

“I can imagine it,” she said.

“What?”

Rey saw him looking at her, looking like he had completely forgotten what they were talking about. She chuckled.

“You, peering through the window, as a kid.”

She looked back out of the viewport, trying to imagine her own young self gazing through it. She couldn’t picture it, her childhood was too drowned in sand and heat to allow for any imagination to the contrary.

“I wish you had been with us, with me,” Ben murmured, tantalizingly close to her ear, soft enough only for her to hear.

A lump formed in Rey’s throat.

“Really?”

She felt Ben nod, more than seeing it.

“I wish you didn’t have to go through what you did. You deserved better,” he added.

Rey smiled sadly. It was almost painful, how deeply he seemed to care for her, in a way no one had ever before.

“Maybe I did,” she admitted, perhaps for the first time to herself. “I wasn’t the only one like that. Some people never escape it, that life.”

Ben nodded again, solemnly.

“True,” he agreed. “Still, I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too,” she said to him softly, leaning further into his side. Their touch was something special, she knew it. She’d never felt so exposed, but so loved by someone. It would break her heart if she couldn’t have him, maybe even have him forever. But she was too deep in now to back out. Maybe she would have to take a leap of faith, to try to show him, convince him that they should be together. 

Ben took her hand again, this time bringing between his own, running his thumbs over her knuckles. It sent small sparks straight from her fingers down to her toes. She wondered if he felt it too.

“So,” he began quietly. “What do you want to do while we wait?”

“Hmm,” Rey hummed, pondering. She looked around his room, her eyes catching on the shelf of genuine paper books above his bed.

“Do you… did you want to borrow another book?” Ben asked, following her gaze.

“Would you mind... reading to me?” Rey asked. She loved his voice, she could only assume it would be well used to read her a story.

Ben leaned over and across her to pick one off of the shelf, nearly embracing her to do so.

“Lay down,” he said after quickly picking one off of the shelf.

“Here?” she asked. On his bed?

“Yes,” he said firmly. “You need to have this experience, at least once.”

She was a little shocked at the revelation– that being read to in bed was apparently something people normally experienced. But he didn’t leave any opportunity to argue, so Rey slipped her boots off and laid down flat on his bed. Ben handed her a blanket from the end of it, and she wrapped herself in it, loving the way it vaguely smelled like him. He sat back down at the end of the bed, at her feet, tucking the end of the blanket under them. It was instantly cozy. 

“This one is set in the Clone Wars,” he explained. His deep, rich, voice was quiet, yet seemed to fill the room, filling out Rey’s senses. “It’s about a spice runner on Coruscant who solves murder cases that have gone cold.”

Rey snorted.

“Not the most relaxing story.”

“The beginning isn’t too crazy,” Ben grinned. “And I don’t want you falling asleep too quickly on me.”

Ben readjusted his position, lifting up Rey’s feet so that he could have a full seat at the end of the bed, and placing her blanket-covered feet in his lap. Rey was so comfortable with him, with their physical intimacy. They sparred, they hugged, he always seemed to find a way to touch her, and she actually liked it. It was nearly second nature now.

“Vol’mon locked the door of the warehouse behind him, keenly aware of the spies the Matrida gang had sent to follow him,” Ben began. “He wouldn’t be able to use this place for holding anymore, he’d have to empty it. He wished more than anything that he had listened to his sister, that he had taken her advice and gotten out of the spice game while he still could. It was far too late now. There was only…”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rey awoke some time later alone in Ben’s room. She slowly arose, stretching out her limbs after a delightful nap. Maybe she really had needed the day off of work. She couldn’t remember the last time she took a nap in the middle of the day, if ever. She folded the blanket and placed it on the end of Ben’s bed. Afterward, she took a few moments to breathe deeply and relax. She knew the next few days would likely be hectic, and she probably wouldn’t get much more time to herself. She sat on the floor and ran through a brief meditation Ben had taught her, to slow her mind and calm her senses. For good measure, she made sure her Force signature was quiet, lending herself to creating a gentle energy.

She thought about what Ben had said, how he wanted to tour the galaxy with her. Just her. She wanted that more than she knew how to express. It was one thing to explore, to see everything she’d missed out on while on Jakku. But it was another to do it with someone who was the best friend Rey had ever had, someone she wanted to be with all the time. It sounded like a dream. 

Unfortunately, it wasn’t realistic. Not while the Resistance was at war. And while she had originally joined the Resistance as a means off of Jakku, for an opportunity for a better life, she had since grown passionate about their efforts. She truly wanted to defeat the First Order, to help bring hope to others. And she knew Ben couldn’t easily just take off on a long trip, either. The Resistance was his family’s whole life.

Rey wondered if she had ever said anything that could possibly have made Ben feel half as special to her as he had. She was guarded with her feelings, that she knew. Perhaps she really should take Rose’s advice from weeks ago, to talk to him and tell him how she felt. It was so… forthright. But hadn’t Ben been so straightforward with her? He always seemed to make bold statements, telling her just how much he wanted to spend time with her. She supposed she could at least make an effort to reciprocate. She desperately hoped he would come to develop stronger feelings for her than for his other crush.

Maybe she would have to try harder, be more open with him. She would test the waters first, dropping small hints perhaps, before fully exposing herself. That way she could gauge his reaction. This trip was the perfect time to do it, she concluded.

She rose and left Ben’s room, and heard her friends conversing as she reapproached the main cabin.

“You’ve got to tell her eventually,” she heard Finn say. “Might as well do it sooner rather than later.”

“What if it goes… badly? We’ll have the rest of the trip…” Ben argued.

What was he telling to whom? Were they talking about her? What did Ben need to tell her that she would take badly?

“Hey,” she said, rounding the corner into the main cabin. Rose jumped in her seat at the sudden greeting.

“Kriff, Rey, don’t scare me like that!”

“Sorry,” Rey said sheepishly. “What does Ben need to tell someone?”

“Oh, uh–” Poe started.

“Nothing,” Finn said.

This was the second time in two days that her friends seem to be talking about something they didn’t want her to know about. It kind of hurt her feelings.

“Oh,” she said, dejectedly. “Ok.”

She began walking back toward Ben’s room, perhaps to give them some privacy again.

“Wait,” Ben said, standing up. “Don’t go.”

“It’s alright,” Rey replied. “I can let you guys talk…”

“That’s not–”

“We weren’t–”

“Let’s head back to the cockpit,” Ben interrupted. “We should be exiting hyperspace soon.”

Rey avoided looking at the rest of the group as she followed Ben. She took her seat in the cockpit beside him, and mustered up the courage to ask him about it.

“Hey, Ben?”

“Yeah?”

“Were you… were you all talking about me?”

Ben’s cheeks turned pink, and he cleared his throat.

“How much–” he began, his voice cracking before he cleared his throat and continued. “How much did you hear?”

He wasn’t looking at her, instead fiddling with the controls on the commandport.

“Just that you needed to tell someone something, and you thought it would go badly.”

“Oh,” he replied, letting out a breath. He seemed a little relieved at her answer. “I… I do need to tell you something. But it’s nothing major. It can wait until we’re on Chandrila. Or back on base.”

“Ben!” she exclaimed. “You can’t do that! You can’t say you need to tell me something and then not tell me!”

Rey knew the curiosity would kill her.

“I know, I know,” he said, now smiling a little. Rey was glad to see him less anxious. It sounded like they _were_ talking about her, but just that Ben had some type of news for her.

“You said I might take it badly?”

“Maybe,” he replied, nodding. “That’s why I think it should wait. I wouldn’t want to ruin your trip.”

Rey’s mind immediately raced to all the possibilities that would be bad.

“Is it my position at the Resistance!? Am I being fired?”

“What? No!”

“Did I do something wrong on the Falcon? I swear I did everything your dad asked…”

“What? No, the Falcon is fine–”

“Did I use the Force wrong again? I promise I haven’t been going into anyone’s mind.”

“I know you haven’t… what–”

“And I’m not quite done reading the book you lent me, but I can give it back if that’s what–”

“REY!”

Rey paused, and blinked. Ben was looking at her so earnestly, and he had reached over to grab her hand.

“Nothing is wrong,” he said slowly. “You’re fine, we’re fine. It’s not bad, per se, and you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s about me, and I’d rather just tell you a bit later.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Rey couldn’t imagine what he needed to tell her. Ben smiled again when she relaxed in her chair, and squeezed her hand again before letting go.

“Well, don’t think I’ll forget,” she said.

Ben laughed.

“I wouldn’t think that for a minute.”

Rey nodded, pleased. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rey was in awe as they landed on the strip for the residential sector Ben’s family’s apartment. There was so much to look at, so much to take in. She was speechless. There were hundreds, if not thousands of buildings. Ones that were so tall they were a part of the sky, ones that were made of glass, completely clear, ones that had fantastic sparkling lights… It was amazing.

“I comm’ed 3PO, so he already ordered lunch for us to eat here,” Ben said as he led them all off of the strip and toward the apartment building.

“Thank kriff,” Poe said. “I’m so hungry.”

“You ate the whole way here,” Rose chastised him.

Poe shrugged.

“I’m just dying for non-base food. I’m going to eat my heart out while I’m here.”

Ben had explained to Rey that even the food here would be different, nicer than on base. She couldn’t imagine food any nicer. The food on base was a million times better than anything she’d ever had on Jakku. She couldn’t wait.

Rey watched, mesmerized as the lift took them up the side of the building, taking in the view from the 152nd floor, where it stopped and they got off. Ben led them to a unit near the end of the hall, and opened the door.

“Home sweet home.”

Rey beamed as she took in the apartment. It looked very nice, though not quite as opulent as one might expect for royalty. This looked like a real family home, like the ones in the holos. There was roomy, comfy-looking furniture, a fully stocked kitchen, and plenty of light shining in from the large, wall-sized viewports. There were frames all along the walls that rotated through stills images of the family. Rey spotted a few that featured stills of a young Ben, which she couldn’t wait to investigate later. There were little knick knacks scattered across the tables and flat surfaces, and 

“Master Benjamin,” a tall, golden droid greeted them. “It is so good to see you. And welcome, Benjamin’s friends.”

Rey giggled at the droid’s manners. The few protocol droids on Jakku had been scrubbed of any polite programming.

“Hey, 3PO,” Ben replied. “Lunch in yet?”

“It just arrived, sir.”

“Great,” Finn said. “Let’s eat.”

They set down their bags as Ben walked into the kitchen.

“Ah,” the droid said as Rey passed. “You must be Rey. I’ve met Master Benjamin’s other friends before, so I assume that you are Rey.”

“Yes, I am,” she answered. C-3PO knew she was coming? Did Ben tell him?

“Princess Leia has told me all about you,” the droid continued. “She told me that Master Benjamin has–”

“Heyyy, 3PO!” Rose interrupted loudly, slapping him on his metal arm..

“Oh, hello Rose, I was just telling Rey about–”

“Yes, yes, I heard,” Rose said quickly. “The General and Ben told 3PO about who was coming,” she said to Rey. “We’re all good here, 3PO. Why don’t you see if Ben needs any help in the kitchen? We’re mighty hungry.”

“Oh, of course, miss. Right away.”

C-3PO shuffled off, leaving Rey with Rose in the foyer.

“I can’t believe _that’s_ C-3PO,” she whispered. “The war hero! He’s so…”

“Annoying?” Rose supplied.

“I was going to say… proper.”

Rose laughed, and linked her arm through Rey’s, leading her into the main living area.

“He won’t admit it, but the General is having him stay here at their apartment so that he’s not constantly annoying her on base.”

“Doesn’t he get lonely?” Rey asked.

“Maybe,” Rose shrugged. “But she says that he’s been malfunctioning way less frequently here, because he isn’t stressed out all the time.”

Rey could imagine that the droid’s programming wouldn’t agree with a lot of the shenanigans and casual behavior on the base. She would have to ask him what he thought.

The boys brought out food and drinks to the main dining table, and the group sat down to eat. Rey watched Ben carefully as he ate, imitating everything he did. She wasn’t sure what the food was, or how to eat it, so she followed his lead. It was absolutely delicious– she had to employ massive self-control to keep herself from inhaling it as fast as she could.

“So,” Finn asked between bites. “What should we do first?”

“I want to take Rey shopping!” Rose offered. “We can get some nice outfits if we all want to go out for dinner later.”

“Ben also said I should get a bathing suit,” Rey added. “For swimming.”

“Oh, that’s right!” Rose said, her eyes twinkling. “Ben, would you like to join us for some shopping?”

Ben coughed on a bit of his food, then cleared his throat.

“Join you?”

“Yeah,” Rose said with a wink. “We’ll need someone to carry the bags, of course.”

“I don’t know, you wouldn’t want me there…”

“Come on Ben, be a gentleman,” Poe chimed in. “It’s Rey’s first time here.”

Ben looked to Rey questioningly, as if asking for permission.

“I mean, you don’t have to,” she offered. “If there’s something else you’d rather do…”

“Oh Rey, stop being so polite,” Poe interrupted her. “Ben wants to go… don’t you Ben?”

“What? Oh– well, yeah, I do,” Ben stammered.

“It’s settled, then,” Rose said with a tone of finality. “Finn? We’ll need you for fashion advice.”

“Oh, come on!” Poe interjected again. “And leave me alone? No, I get Finn.”

“Sorry guys,” Finn said. “Poe and I were talking about going to the shockball game this afternoon. I’d rather go to that.”

“Fine,” Rose scoffed. “We can meet up for dinner, I guess.”

“Works for me,” Finn agreed. “Ben, any recommendations?”

Ben hummed, thinking for a moment.

“What about Qalata Kitchen?”

“Isn’t that place a little expensive?” Rose asked.

Rey didn’t like the sound of expensive. She was thrilled that she was making any money at all at the Resistance, but she had researched the cost of things on Chandrila and suddenly she had felt poor all over again. Especially if she was already going to be spending it all to buy a swimsuit and maybe even a dress.

Ben shrugged.

“My treat,” he said casually.

“We can’t let you do that, Ben,” Poe argued. “You’re already hosting us here. And we flew your ship.”

“It’s fine,” Ben said. “I want to. Plus, they’ve got genuine Chandrilan cuisine, I want Rey to try it.”

Rey fidgeted at the attention as the group looked at her. She wanted to argue, and insist Ben was being too generous, but she _was_ intrigued.

“I suppose it would be nice to have something fancy for a change…” Finn said.

“Someone’s gotta spend my family’s money,” Ben joked. 

“Alright,” Rose chuckled. “Thanks, Ben. We’ll pay you back somehow.”

“You can pay me back by helping me prank 3PO while I’m here,” he replied.

“Did someone say my name?” the golden droid called from the kitchen.

“No,” they all said at once, before bursting into laughter.

“Alright, so, how does 19:00 at Qalata Kitchen sound?” Finn asked.

“Sounds good,” Poe agreed.

“I’ll have 3PO comm a reservation,” Ben said with a smile.

“Enough talk, let’s go shopping!” Rose squealed, pushing away from the table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!  
> I know this is a pretty slow chapter. (Ok, maybe REALLY slow)  
> But I felt like I couldn't skip over Rey's first trip off-planet! I wanted to get some more emotional development in there before things start heating up.  
> I PROMISE things will get a lot juicier again next chapter with our inevitable shoppiinnggg triiiiiippp!  
> Stick with me!  
> P.S. can anyone spot the Spiderman: into the spiderverse reference?!?!


	11. Shopping

Rey sorted through the yellow dresses on the rack in front of her one by one. They were all the same, just different sizes. She had no idea what size she was, so she picked one out that seemed at least somewhat right.

She was completely out of her element. Rose and Ben had taken her to a clothing shop in central Hanna City, and she had never seen such an excess of, well, anything.

Rose had told her to pick out several dresses to try on. Apparently, you were allowed to put the clothes on to test them before buying them, which was a wild concept to Rey. So, here she stood, completely clueless as to what made a good dress, or which one was the right one for her. She liked yellow, so this was the first rack she’d gravitated toward. Now what?

She looked around, and saw Rose not too far away, looking through some longer red dresses, with a high neckline but a slit down the back.

“Rose? Is this good?”

She held up the yellow dress for her friend to see, who smiled and nodded.

“Yeah, that’s cute!” she said. “I think I’m going to grab one of these to try on.”

She picked out one of the red dresses, and led Rey to another rack.

“I think you would look great in white,” she said, running her hand across some white options. “Ben? What do you think?”

Ben, who had been sort of wandering around while the girls shopped, spun around.

“What?”

“Rey? In white? She would look good, right?”

She saw Ben swallow thickly, eyes darting between Rey and the white dresses.

“Oh. Uh– sure. I mean, yes. Definitely.”

Ben looked just as uncomfortable shopping as Rey felt. But his complimentative answer still resulted in heat rising to her cheeks.

Rose hummed in agreement, and picked out a dress and placed it in Ben’s arms.

“Would you mind helping us carry some stuff? We’re going to pick out a few more and then head to the dressing room.”

“Um, sure,” he said, awkwardly holding onto the hangars as Rose gathered both of their choices and handed them over.

Rey felt bad. There weren’t even any men’s clothes in this store, at this point Ben was just helping them.

“I’ll try to be quick,” she told him apologetically as Rose walked away to explore more options.

“Oh, no! Take your time,” he said earnestly, pepping up a little bit. “I want you to get something you really like.”

“Thanks,” she said. “But I don’t even know if I can even afford anything here. Especially if I need to get a swimsuit, too.”

“We’ll figure it out,” he said with a grin. “Besides, I think you’re making Rose very happy right now.”

Rey chuckled, looking over at her friend.

“That might be true,” she admitted. Rose seemed very determined to help Rey buy her first nice outfit, just as she had been determined to make her feel welcome on base. The least she could do was to let Rose shop for her.

“Rey! Over here!” Rose called, waving them over. She loaded up Ben’s arms with more dresses, a pant suit, and a few pairs of shoes. Everything appeared to be Rey’s size, too long and large for Rose.

“What about you?” Rey asked.

“Don’t worry about me,” she said. “I already know I’m pretty set on that red dress. If I don’t like it when I try it on, then I’ll pick something else.”

After a few minutes of collecting a few other garments, Rose led Rey and Ben to the back where there were a few dressing rooms. Rey was a little shocked and embarrassed when Rose joined her in one of the larger ones. Although she shared communal showers with others on base, it wasn’t like she was actively dressing and undressing in front of everyone –there were stalls. But, it turned out to be helpful, since Rey had trouble figuring out how to even get the damn dresses on. There were so many zippers and small holes to navigate, that she ended up being thankful that Rose insisted on joining her.

They started with the yellow dress, Rey’s first pick. It was… nice. It was nice and flowy, which was a sensation that Rey wasn’t used to. The fresh air circulating underneath was a new feeling. It had thin straps at the shoulders, but her breast band showed underneath. After some encouragement from Rose and an assurance that she wouldn’t get in trouble with the store, she removed her breast band. She certainly didn’t need it, her breasts weren’t that big. And the dress did look much better without it.

“I like it,” Rey said, assessing herself in the mirror.

“It’s cute,” Rose commented. “But I can tell you don’t love it.”

“No,” Rey admitted. “Though I don’t really know what I’m supposed to be looking for anyway. I’m just worried the skirt is going to fly up at any moment.”

“I know the feeling,” Rose said. “Wearing a dress takes a bit of getting used to.”

Rose helped her try on the white dress next. Rey had to admit that the white fabric looked good against her tan skin.

“Ooh, girl,” Rose said, “you look hot!”

“You think so?” Rey asked, feeling insecure. Her legs, intensely scarred from years of picking old, decaying ships, were on full display since the dress only came to just above her knees.

“Absolutely!” Rose said. Rey could read her aura– a bright, cheery blue. Sincere, truthful.

Rey looked at herself in the mirror again, trying to see herself as hot. She supposed she looked ok. The dress was tight around her chest and stomach, with short sleeves, and then flowed out at the hips. It gave her some semblance of curves. But she wasn’t entirely confident in it.

“Why don’t we show Ben our dresses?” Rose asked, while slipping into her own choice, the red dress.

“Show Ben?” Rey asked nervously. She wasn’t accustomed to showing her legs on base. What if he saw them and thought they were ugly? She was trying to get him to _like_ her, not be repulsed by her.

“Yeah, we can get his opinion,” Rose said assuredly, grabbing Rey by the hand and dragging her out of the dressing room before she could protest.

Ben was sitting on a bench just outside, and his eyes widened as they appeared in front of him.

_Shit_ , Rey thought. She must look ridiculous.

“What do you think?” Rose asked him, twirling around to show him her dress.

But his eyes didn’t leave Rey. She watched him blink a few times, before subtly scanning her up and down. Something tight formed in her chest as she watched him ever so quickly lick his bottom lip before speaking. He clearly had his shields up, but she didn’t need to read his energy when she could read his facial expressions. He definitely liked it, he looked… hungry.

“You look great,” he said quietly.

Rey stared back at him, clutching the sides of her dress with her hands, as if to keep the dress from flying up. She had a particularly large, nasty, purple scar on her upper right thigh that she never wanted him to see.

“We do, don’t we?” Rose asked smugly. “I’m getting this one for sure. Rey? What about you?”

“I… I don’t know,” she stammered, unable to look away from Ben’s ardent gaze.

“I think that’s answer enough,” Rose said. “You want to get something you’re sure about. Let’s try something else.”

Rey scampered back into the dressing room, with Rose close behind. She looked into the mirror in distress, wondering what Ben saw when he looked at her.

“Did you see him?” Rose whispered as soon as they were inside together. “I think you broke his brain for a moment there!”

“What?”

“He looked like he wanted to eat you whole!” 

“Shh!”

“What? It’s true. That boy is head over heels for you.”

Rey chewed on the inside of her cheek.

“Really?” she asked, lowering her whisper even more.

“Rey, I know you’re new to this. Trust me, he’s crazy about you. The way he looked at you just now? He’s incredibly attracted to you.”

Rey looked back in the mirror, assessing her appearance. Maybe she was being too harsh on herself. If what Rose said was true, she must look good, at least to Ben. Even with her legs out. She… _did_ look kind of pretty. At least prettier than she ever had before. Rose knew that she had feelings for Ben, though it had been several weeks since they spoke about it. And she apparently thought this dress made her more attractive to him. She decided to heed Rose’s advice. She certainly knew much more about this kind of stuff than she did.

“I… I guess,” she admitted quietly.

Rose smiled at her in the mirror.

“Now, let’s find something both you _and_ he like.”

Rey nodded.

“I’m not sure about the whole dress thing,” she mumbled, crossing one leg behind the other.

“Ok,” Rose said, slipping out of the red dress and back into her clothes. “Try the pantsuit next.”

Rey obeyed, pulling on a set of blue trousers and jacket. It felt much better, but she didn’t find herself as pretty as she had felt in the dress. She expressed this to Rose, whose eyes lit up and hands clapped together.

“Hold on, I’m going to grab something,” she enthused.

When Rose returned, she was holding a stark black jumpsuit. Rey had never worn anything black, it was nonsense to even attempt it in the desert. And it wasn’t the kind of jumpsuit they often worked in, it was a much nicer fabric, and Rey could tell that you weren’t meant to labor in it. It wide swaths of fabric that came up over the shoulders, but no sleeves.

“I have a feeling that Ben would like you in this,” Rose said with a wink.

Rey blushed hard. 

“I’ll… I’ll try it on,” she said, taking the jumpsuit from her and pulling it on.

It was a bit simpler than the other outfits. Just a few seams and long in the legs. There was a deep v cut down her chest, nearly to her belly button. She was self conscious of her small breasts, but the jumpsuit somehow made them look a little shapely. She looked good, she had to admit. But, more importantly, she felt comfortable. Maybe even confident.

“What do you think?” she asked Rose.

She turned to see Rose smiling widely, with almost a mischievous glint in her eye.

“I think that’s the one,” she said. “You look happy in it.”

Rey turned back to the mirror, and discovered that it was true. She looked content, self-assured.

“Do you think we should ask Ben?”

“Oh no,” Rose answered. “Not this one. You should save this one for tonight. Surprise the hell out of him.”

Rey chewed on her bottom lip, trying to imagine his reaction. Would he like it? He himself wore a lot of black, maybe he would like it on her too.

“Alright,” she agreed, trusting Rose’s judgement.

“Yay!” Rose cheered, helping Rey out of the outfit and into her normal clothes.

When they stepped out, she saw Ben quickly look her up and down, as if expecting another outfit. Finding none, he just smiled and stood up.

“All done? Did you find something?” he asked.

“Yup!” Rose said, hiding the jumpsuit behind her back. “Let’s head to the register.”

A nice Twi’lek helped them check out. Rey winced when she was the price of the jumpsuit, but reluctantly handed over her credit chip anyway. She already loved the outfit, she had to get it.

“Oh,” the man said, waving his hand. “The gentleman has already provided payment information for both of you, you’re all set.”

“What?” Rey asked in shock, turning to Ben, who was looking out of the window.

“Ben!” Rose protested. “You can’t do that!”

Ben turned to look at them sheepishly. He just shrugged.

“I already did,” he said.

Rey gaped at him. The man didn’t seem to care at all about spending money frivolously. First offering to buy everyone a fancy dinner, now this. Rey wondered how much money _she_ would have to have in order to just drop bills like this man did.

“You really don’t have to,” Rey urged him. She would feel guilty, wearing something he bought.

“I wanted to,” he said simply, looking at her intensely. Something about his eyes told her that he was done arguing about it, that she should submit.

“Ok,” she said reluctantly. “Thank you, Ben.”

“You’re welcome,” he said sincerely, now grinning slightly. “Where to next?”

“Rey needs a swimsuit!” Rose said.

Rey’s stomach fell. Would she have to show herself to Ben in those too? It wasn’t something she’d completely thought through. Her skin would _definitely_ be showing in a swimsuit. And even if she didn’t show him in the shop, he would see when they went swimming. She cursed under her breath. There was no hiding. She supposed she could tell them she changed her mind, that she didn’t want to learn how to swim. But it would be a lie. She did really want to learn, and to experience the sensation of being fully submerged in water like that. She didn’t know when she would get another chance, or have someone as trustworthy as Ben to teach her.

“Alright,” said quietly. “Where should we go for that?”

Their excursion for a swimsuit was much quicker. With Rose’s help, she chose a modest one piece. Rose also assured her that she could wear some shorts in the water if she wanted to cover more of her legs, that they wouldn’t sink her down too much. After double checking with Ben that wearing athletic shorts wouldn’t drown her in the water, she was ready to go. Feeling relieved, Rey insisted she buy the swimsuit and shorts for herself, swatting away Ben’s hand as he reached for his credit chip in his pocket.

“We can walk the long way back to the apartment,” he suggested as they left the second store. “I could point out buildings to you, that type of thing.”

“We do have a little bit of time before we need to start getting ready for dinner,” Rose supplied.

“Sounds great to me,” Rey said. She definitely wanted to learn more about Ben’s hometown.

“But I’m a little tired,” Rose added. “I’ll just catch a transport back to the residential district and rest at the apartment.”

“We can go with you,” Rey offered, concerned for her friend.

“No, that’s alright,” Rose said quickly, waving her hand. “You two enjoy.”

“Are you sure?” Ben asked, looking worried.

“Absolutely,” Rose assured them. “Here, I can take the clothes too.”

She grabbed the bags from Ben’s Rey’s hand before she could argue.

“If you’re sure…” Rey wavered. It _would_ be nice to be alone with Ben, like she was used to. It wasn’t like she didn’t love spending time with Rose, she did. But it was different when it was just her and Ben.

“I am,” Rose said with conviction. “I’m just going to lay down and read for a while, enjoy my vacation. I’ve been to Hanna City before.”

“Alright,” Ben relented. “Have C-3PO comm me if you need anything.”

“I’ll be fine,” she assured them again. Without another word, she took off toward the transport station at the end of the block.

“Well,” Ben said timidly. “Shall we?”

Rey nodded enthusiastically.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rey and Rose got ready for dinner together in one of the bedrooms in the Organa-Solo’s apartment.

“So, how was your tour?” Rose asked her with a curious tone.

“It was great!” Rey said. “There’s so much here! Ben told me that there’s like three ship manufacturers in this city alone!”

Rose frowned, pausing while pulling on her red dress.

“Is that all you talked about?” she asked.

“What?”

“Chandrila?”

“Well, yeah,” Rey replied, a bit confused. “He gave me a tour.”

Rose pouted again, zipping up the side of her dress. Rey couldn’t imagine why she was upset.

“Are you two ever going to bite the bullet and stop dancing around each other?” she asked suddenly, putting her hands on her hips.

“What do you mean?” Rey asked, looking away. She knew what Rose was implying, but she was too embarrassed to answer.

“You know exactly what I mean, Rey,” Rose said sternly. “Tell him how you feel! Then you two can fall in love and we can all move on with our lives!”

Rey nearly choked on air, looking at her friend in horror. She wasn’t bold when it came to that type of thing. Not like Rose, or Poe.

“What, I should just tell him?”

“Yes!”

“But… I don’t know anything about this stuff!”

“There’s a first time for everything!” Rose argued. “Life is short, don’t waste time worrying about it, just go after him!”

Rey wrung her hands together.

“What should I do?”

“Have you tried flirting with him?”

Rey shook her head.

“I don’t know how,” she answered meekly.

Rose sighed, but looked kindly at her friend. She sat down next to Rey on the bed, beginning again more patiently.

“Here’s what you’re gonna do,” she said calmly. “You’re just going to be yourself. He likes you the way you are. But… make hints about how much you like him. Touch him a little, make it obvious. I promise that if you make it clear how you feel, he will reciprocate. Of course, you could always just _tell_ him, but that’s boring.”

Rey laughed as her friend elbowed in the side gently and grinned. Rose always knew how to make her feel better.

“That _is_ boring,” Rey agreed. “I guess I’ll try the first thing. But can you tell me if I’m embarrassing myself?”

“I will,” Rose agreed. “Now, let’s get you into that killer jumpsuit. I also want to try something with your hair. And, if you want, I could put a little makeup on you as well.”

“Do you think Ben would like that?”

“I think Ben would like you in a tuber sack. But yes, I think he would. He is a male, after all. They’re simple beings.”

Rey laughed again, and stood up.

“Then do your worst.”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rey let Rose step out of the bedroom first. She could hear the guys conversing in the main living area, ready to leave for the restaurant.

“Wow,” she heard Poe say. “You look amazing!”

“Thanks,” Rose said, sounding happy.

Rey took one last look in the mirror. The jumpsuit hung on her body well, and she rather liked the loose, messy, low bun that Rose had given her. And the little bit of eye makeup really made her eyes pop. She looked about as good as she probably could.

Trying to look confident, she stood up straight, setting her shoulders back. She walked out of the bedroom slowly, immediately looking for Ben.

He was sitting on the couch, leaning forward with his forearms on his thighs, his hands clasped together. He was looking at Finn, who was saying something.

“Holy shit, Rey,” Poe said loudly, making everyone’s eyes snap toward her.

She watched Ben, who blinked several times before his jaw dropped. Rey felt sharp spikes of wild energy come off of him– with golds and deep reds, blue, orange, yellow, purple… like fireworks, and hot to the touch. In an instant though, she felt it retract, his shields coming up. She seemed to have surprised him, and the lingering taste of his potent energy in her mind reminded her an awful lot of how she felt when she watched him work out in the gym. That could only be a good reaction. Very good. She looked down at the floor, working up the courage to continue.

“Doesn’t she look good?” Rose asked the group.

Finn and Poe voiced their approval, but Rey only listened for Ben. He didn’t say anything, just continued to stare at her from his position on the couch. He’d managed to close his mouth, but his eyes were sweeping her form as intensely as ever.

Finn stood up and followed as Rose and Poe headed to the kitchen for a quick drink, leaving her alone with Ben in the living area. Not knowing what to do, she just stood there awkwardly, skimming her fingers along the fabric of the jumpsuit legs. Eventually, Ben slowly stood up and walked toward her. She forced herself to not step back, to not cower at his advance. He came right up to her, so close she had to look up to see his face.

“You look gorgeous,” he said quietly, putting his hands in his pockets.

“Thanks,” she breathed out. “You look good too.”

He was dressed in a nice looking shirt and jacket, nicer than his normal, daily attire. And all in black. He looked like those rich, famous actors in the holos. He _smelled_ good too. Freshly showered, clean, manly. 

“I mean,” he said, bringing his hand up to run his palm down across her shoulder where the strap of her jumpsuit lay. “You always look gorgeous, but it’s not often I get to see you all fancied up.”

Rey was sure she was shaking, his words overloading her with pleasure and anticipation. His fingertips were trailing down the bare skin of her arm now, leaving small paths of sharp, tingling fire.

“Maybe we should do this more often,” she suggested, surprised at her own boldness.

The corner of his mouth quirked up, crinkling his dimples in the way she always found adorable. She wanted to reach up and cup his cheek, feeling his smile on her hand.

“Maybe we should,” he agreed, fingers reaching her wrist, and wrapping themselves around it. She wondered if he could feel how wildly her pulse was beating.

She looked into his eyes, studying the way the light shifted in them, deep browns and blacks, practically twinkling.

“Thanks again for getting this for me,” she said, smoothing her other hand down her outfit. Ben’s eyes followed her palm down her chest and stomach.

“Trust me,” he said. “It was well worth it.”

The low, rich timbre of his voice resonated inside of her, erupting butterflies in her stomach. The way he was looking at her was so _intense_ , so… _heated_. And his words… it felt like something was ignited within her, and coiling tightly in her stomach. His eyes kept darting between her face and her chest, which was on display with the deep cut of the jumpsuit. Rey was well aware that this was the largest amount of skin she had ever shown.

“You like it?” she asked delicately.

Ben cocked a brow at that, and looked at her scrutinizingly, like he was trying to figure something out.

“You know I do,” he replied.

“We should probably head out,” Finn said, his voice cutting through their moment.

Ben released her wrist, and Rey took a step back from him, looking away.

“Yes,” Ben agreed. “We don’t want to be late.”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rey couldn’t sleep that night. 

Dinner had been delightful. She sat next to Ben, who told her about all the various foods they devoured, and stories from growing up in the city. She’d leaned into him at times, appreciating his warmth, and following Rose’s advice. His arm was slung around the back of the booth behind her most of the time, she grabbed his thigh when he made her laugh. It was easy, simple to allow herself to act that way– she really was comfortable with him. He lent her his jacket when she got cold, wrapping her up tightly in his arms to warm her up. She would like to go out for dinner again sometime, just the two of them. Where she could kiss him if she wanted.

After such a good, tiring day, she thought she would sleep soundly. She was wrong.

She tossed and turned. Every time she felt like she was finally drifting off, a pulse of nervous energy would surge through her, waking her up again. Apparently, it was hard for her to sleep in new places. It had taken a few weeks on base to finally sleep well. Now, it appeared that Ben’s apartment was presenting a similar challenge. It’s not like she didn’t know she was perfectly safe here, it was just instinct. She’d been forced to become a light sleeper on Jakku, you never knew when someone would decide to raid your home in the middle of the night. Here, there was obviously no chance of that, but for some reason she couldn’t convince her brain otherwise. Her surroundings were new, and thus she was unable to fall asleep.

She sighed, staring at the lights of Hanna City below them out of the window. Maybe she needed to take her mind off of things a bit. Perhaps she would grab a glass of water from the kitchen, and pull out the book she was working on.

She peeled herself out of bed, feeling exhausted. It had been a day full of new adventures, and she could tell her body desperately wanted to sleep. She opened the door of the bedroom and tiptoed out as quietly as she could, she knew Ben was asleep on a pull out mattress in the living room. He had insisted that she take his bedroom, no matter how much she refused him. She navigated her way through the dark toward the kitchen, only to find the light already on.

“Ben?”

From where he stood at the sink, drinking his own glass of water, Ben turned toward her, looking surprised.

“Rey? What are you doing awake?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” she answered. If she was less tired, she probably would have more attentively noticed how Ben’s gaze flitted across her chest, where she had forgone a breast band under her thin sleep shirt.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Rey shook her head, reaching up into a cupboard for a glass.

“I don’t think so,” she answered, pouring herself some water. “I just have trouble sleeping in new places. Especially in a city, I guess.”

Ben frowned, clearly displeased.

“Did you put the black-out filter on the window?” he asked.

Rey blinked at him, her tired brain a little too out of it to comprehend.

“What?”

“There’s a black out filter on the window, it should block out all of the light from the city… here, I’ll show you.”

Rey followed him with her glass of water in a stupor back to the bedroom. Ben turned on a small light and went over to the window, punching a few keys on the control pad next to it. In an instant, the whole window went black, the city lights vanishing. The room was already darker than it had been, even with the small light Ben had turned on.

“Oh,” she said dumbly. “I didn’t know it did that.”

“You need it in a city like this,” Ben answered simply. 

He looked at her again, assessing her.

“Is there anything else I can do to help?”

“I… don’t think so,” she said. “It’s just my brain… it’s like it doesn’t trust me to fall asleep somewhere unfamiliar.”

Ben looked sad again, and ran a hand through his hair.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t know–”

“It’s ok,” Rey cut him off. “It’s not your fault. I’ll be ok.”

Ben looked like he wanted to say more, but after a few moments he relented.

“Alright,” he said. “I’ll be just outside if you need anything else. Don’t hesitate to wake me up.”

Rey smiled, overwhelmed once more by his sweetness.

“I’ll be fine,” she answered. 

Ben nodded, and then hesitantly left. Rey set the glass of water on the bedside table before turning off the light, pitching the room into blackness. Perhaps the black-out filter would help. She did prefer it to be dark when she slept– dark like the Jakku desert at night.

But she spent the next hour or so tossing and turning again. Unable to ignore every small noise, every thought that raced through her head. She huffed in frustration into her pillow. She would feel better if there was something ensuring her safety, something that would put her hindbrain at ease. Maybe a person? A friend? Her friends made her feel safe. Remembering Ben’s offer, she quickly wrenched herself out of bed before she could change her mind.

She walked out of the bedroom and toward the pull-out mattress Ben was laying on.

“Ben?” she whispered.

He didn’t respond, he remained still on his side. Rey watched his chest fall and rise slowly. He was clearly asleep. She winced. She didn’t want to wake him up. She stood there for a minute, considering her options. Ben had seemed earnest in his offer to help her in whatever way he could. And she knew she wouldn’t fall asleep easily without some sort of help and assurance.

Shaking her head, she stepped toward him, lightly tapping him on the shoulder.

“Ben,” she whispered again. “Ben.”

He snuffled into his pillow, subconsciously reacting to her jostle, but not waking.

“Ben” she tried again, shaking his shoulder a little harder.

His breath caught a bit, and his eyes opened, blinking.

“What– what?” he stammered, pulling up his head. “Rey? Are you ok?”

He sat up quickly, looking around as if for some sign of trouble.

“I’m ok,” she told him quickly, “I’m ok.”

He settled down, looking once more around and then up to her face.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, looking very concerned.

Rey now felt a little embarrassed, but she was far enough into this that she had to go through with it.

“Um…” she started. “I can’t, well… I’m having trouble sleeping and I was wondering… well– you don’t have to… Actually, you know what, I can’t– I mean I guess if–”

“Rey,” he said quietly but fervently. “What can I do to help? Whatever it is, I’ll do it.”

Rey let out a breath, relieved by his directness. She regathered her courage.

“If you don’t mind,” she said. “I think I need you to sleep with me.”

She watched Ben blink once, before his eyes went wide. Then, a moment later, he shook his head, as if clearing a thought from his mind.

“Yeah, of course,” he said, pushing his covers down and standing up. “I can bring some blankets and sleep next to the bed…”

“I mean,” Rey interrupted, “the bed is more than big enough for both of us.”

Him sleeping on the floor didn’t really solve her dilemma, she wanted someone close.

Ben looked again at her for a moment, his Adam’s apple bobbing a few times.

“If you’re sure,” he whispered.

Rey just nodded, grabbing his hand to lead him back to the bedroom. She crawled into the bed and pulled down the covers on the other side for him. She was confused for a moment when he just stood in the doorway, looking at her with wide eyes, but soon enough he made his way over to the opposite side of the bed and clambered in under the covers with her. She let out a deep sigh of relief.

“Thanks for this,” she whispered, turning on her side toward him. “I think my mind will rest easier knowing that you’re there.”

“No problem,” he whispered back. “Anything you need.”

Her heart warmed at his offer. He was truly the best, most thoughtful person she knew. There was no arguing now that he cared for her, perhaps more than a friend would. She could rely on him, and she loved spending time with him. She loved the way he made her feel, how he made her happy, or calm. She couldn’t really think of anything she didn’t love about him.

She scooted ever so slightly toward him, leaning her forehead gently against his arm where it laid on the bed. The small touch grounded her, made her feel safe. She exhaled deeply again, letting her bones sink into the mattress, trying to let the stress melt away. Ben was here now, everything would be ok.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyyy, we're getting close, am I right?!?!  
> I just wanted to say thank you for all of the love y'all have given me. It's so wonderful to chat with you and share this fic with you. thank youuuuuu <33333


	12. In Bed

_Warm_. It was _warm_.

That’s the first thing Rey’s brain registered. Her eyes half opened before closing again. She was cocooned in warmth, constricted in comforting heat. She blinked a few times, regaining consciousness. She was in a soft bed, that was for sure– definitely in the room she fell asleep in, in the Organa-Solo’s apartment. But why was it so _warm_?

She tried to gently shift but was caught against something. She blinked again, and her brain began to catch on to her surroundings. She was being held… held by someone with very strong arms. It was strange, she didn’t let people touch her like this… why were there arms around her?

It slowly dawned on her. There was only one person and one set of arms she would let hold her this way– Ben. He was so _warm_ against her back, so alive.

She took another moment to wake up and contemplate her situation. He was holding her rather tightly on her side, around her chest and middle. One arm was caught half underneath her shoulder and half under her pillow. The other was… _oh_. The other was draped over her waist, and his hand was splayed right on her chest. His hand was so wide it almost spanned both of her breasts. They were small compared to the size of his hand. Rey felt and watched as her nipples pebbled against his palm and forearm through her thin sleep shirt, responding to her new awareness of their embrace.

She wondered for a second if he minded that her boobs were small, if he would prefer someone with a bigger chest instead, but reminded herself that he was _here_ , in bed with _her_ – when he could have easily been in a different bed with someone else, if he had wanted to.

Rey felt a gust of air against her neck, and Ben’s arms loosened and then contracted as he took a large breath. His chest rose and fell against her back, and Rey wished they were skin-to-skin, so she could feel his heartbeat even stronger against her shoulder blade. It felt nice to be held. She felt… safe. And wanted. Rey wondered when in the night they had ended up in this position, and if the reason she had slept so well was because her body knew that she was protected in Ben’s arms. It sparked an elated, pleasant sort of lust. She bit her lip, her senses and her desire coming to life. 

She squirmed ever so slightly, her body now fully waking up. It was still pitch black in the room, thanks to the black-out filter on the window. She surmised it must be morning, but since she didn’t hear anyone moving about the apartment, it was probably early still. As she moved, Ben moved behind her as well. He pulled her even closer, snuffling into her hair. He was holding her like she used to hold her Rebel pilot doll she’d found on a fallen cruiser on Jakku against her chest. In his sleep, he wasn’t ready to let go yet. As he wrapped her up even tighter, she felt something hard prod against her butt.

 _Oh_.

She knew this happened to men in the morning– it was normal to happen on occasion. But she’d never been so… intimately acquainted with the scenario. Ben’s hand was hot at her breast, and his groin was hard at her ass. The feeling seemed to connect all of the electricity in her body, spreading a fully energized current. Rey was more turned on than she had ever been before. Something was twisting up in her core– it made her throat tight and her mouth water. She pushed back against him gently, achingly curious to feel more. His erection ran along something sensitive, and her breath caught in her throat.

He groaned quietly into her hair, the sound of it sending deep tremors through her body. He shifted with her, nudging more urgently into her backside. Rey wasn’t just warm now, she felt like she was on fire. She wondered if she could get off like this, just pressing back into Ben’s cock. She knew she should feel ashamed by this, by how easily she’d gone from 0 to 100 at the feel of him pushing against her. But she couldn’t, not when she was overwhelmed by thirst and contentment in being held tight against his body.

She let out a harsh gasp when Ben’s hand shifted over to one breast and cupped it more boldly. He ground his hips into her even harder, forcing a pathetic whimper out of her mouth. She wondered if he would ever do this when he was actually awake, or if she was just fulfilling some sort of base need of his, impersonal and primal. She was having trouble swallowing, or piecing together rational thoughts. She was itching for something more, something she knew about but hadn’t done before. She’d only ever known her own hand.

“Mmm,” Ben hummed into her hair. 

Perhaps he was beginning to wake up, or perhaps dreaming. Did he dream of her like she did of him? This felt like one of her dreams. She was trapped in his arms, but she wasn’t scared, or clawing to escape. She wanted him to consume her, _possess_ her, even if she wanted to do the same to him. It was intense, the way she wanted him. His muscular, thick arms held her firmly, and grounded her to him. She could stay here all day, desperate for release, wrapped up as he haphazardly thrust against her.

Just as she had this thought, the enticing movement stopped. In fact, everything around her went still all at once. She felt Ben’s muscles go rigid, and his rhythmic breathing halt. She first felt his hand slowly release her breast, inching away carefully. As his arm retracted, a sudden cold draft of air met her back as he uncurled himself from around her. She threw up her mental shields, doing her best to simulate a calm, dream-like energy. Rey cringed internally while pretending to be still asleep. Ben clearly didn’t want to touch her like that when he was awake and fully cognizant. And she didn’t want to have to face him, to accept that fact, or to acknowledge the way she responded. So she closed her eyes and hoped for the best, maintaining her strong shields as her heart became leaden and sunk in her stomach.

She felt Ben rustle a bit in the bed behind her. Then, to her surprise, there was a tingle at her arm as fingers ever so lightly grazed down her bicep, and a gentle kiss was pressed into her shoulder. Where there had been disappointment and rejection, hope and tenderness sprung forth. Ben _did_ want to touch her– perhaps not just all at once and so intensely like he had in his sleep. It took everything Rey had in her to keep from smiling at these small signs of affection. Even if they weren’t as wonderful as what had led up to them, at least she knew Ben chose to give them of his own free will. She listened as he climbed out of bed and shuffled out of the room, closing the door carefully behind him. 

Her eyes snapped open when the door clicked, and she turned her face into the pillow to squeal in equal parts excitement and sexual frustration. She felt thrilled– they were so close to something, she just knew it. Maybe she would have to take action like Rose suggested. Rey replayed the memory of how he looked at her when she first stepped out in her new outfit before dinner. It was all desire, and longing. He hadn’t taken his eyes off of her all night, and it hit Rey all of a sudden that he _always_ looked at her that way, even on base, when she was sweaty from work and in second-hand uniforms. From the beginning, it was as if she was the only person in the room. How had she not noticed it before? She wondered if she herself was as painfully obvious with her own ogling. Did everyone see it except for her– this thing between her and Ben? Rey knew she was naive, but not stupid. She’d have to fix this herself. She was never one to back down for a challenge, and claiming Ben as her own over whichever other woman he liked would just be next on the long list of hurdles she’d overcome.

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Rey appeared in the living area fully dressed sometime later to find Poe and Ben drinking caff, looking out the window over Hanna City. She took a deep breath, calming her Force signature, as Ben called it. Though she had a new-found resolve, she didn’t want to expose how she felt all at once.

“Morning, sunshine,” Poe greeted her.

“Good morning,” she said, sitting down next to him on the couch. The pull-out mattress was nowhere to be seen, probably put away by Ben or C-3PO already.

She looked over at Ben, who somehow looked big even in the rather large armchair he sat in.

“Did you sleep well?” he asked her. He was freshly showered, and the way his hair curled as it dried made him look younger, even cuter.

Rey tried her best to remain passive, to not give away anything mentally or through body language.

“Yes,” she answered, voice a little higher than she would have liked. “You were right about the black out filter. Slept like a log.”

“I’m glad,” he replied, smiling into his mug of caff before taking a sip.

“What about you?” she asked a bit coyly, cocking her head ever so slightly.

He raised an eyebrow at her as he swallowed.

“Wonderfully,” he said lowly, his rich, brown eyes boring into her.

“I… uh…” Poe said awkwardly, clearly detecting some strange dynamic. “Put the kettle out for you, Rey. I know you prefer tea instead of caff.”

Rey dragged her gaze away from Ben’s enticing eyes, smiling at Poe.

“Yes, thank you,” she said, hopping up onto her feet to head into the kitchen. She wasn’t sure if she was quite ready for the intensity of their flirty banter, so she was grateful for the opportunity to flee.

She boiled the water and selected some tea from what appeared to be the General’s wide selection, admiring the brews from various parts of the galaxy. She was reading the text on a container of Nabooian tea when Ben came in behind her, with Rose in tow.

“G’morning,” Rose said, wrapping Rey in a half-hug.

“Oh, good morning,” Rey replied, still getting used to her friend’s way of greeting her. She saw Ben cross his arms over his chest and chuckle at her reaction over Rose’s shoulder.

“I’m going to make us breakfast, since Ben has treated us to so much so far,” Rose announced. “Would you like to help?”

Rey looked back at the boiling kettle, flipping off the switch, avoiding eye contact.

“I… um… don’t really know how to cook,” she admitted to the kitchen counter. “Except for quickbread and vegmeat rations.”

A soft flash of blue from Rose billowed forth. Rey didn’t have to look at her to recognize her pity.

“Oh, right,” she stuttered. “Well, would you like to learn? I can teach you. I was just going to make simple stuff, I’m not that great of a cook anyway.”

“Sure,” Rey shrugged. “As long as you don’t let me mess the food up.”

Rose laughed.

“Girl, you can rebuild a T-85 engine in two days. You’ll have no problem making breakfast.”

A smile escaped Rey’s lips as she poured the water into the teapot. Rose always had a way of making her feel less inadequate, of making her feel better.

“I guess you’re right,” she said.

“You’re damn right I am.”

“Why are you all so loud?”

Rey looked up to see Finn stroll into the kitchen, still clad in his sleep clothes.

“We’re on leave, for Kriff’s sake,” he continued, yawning part way through. “We should be sleeping in.”

“How did you ever survive F.O. trooper training?” Rose questioned him.

Finn just shrugged, pouring a mug of caff for himself.

“Beats me. But at least they didn’t make us get up early on our days off.”

Rey giggled at Ben as he rolled his eyes.

“We’ve got a lot to do today,” he said. “I was thinking we could go to the botanical gardens this morning and down to the lake this afternoon.”

Rey nodded enthusiastically. She’d been particularly excited to see all of the plant life at the gardens, and both nervous and excited to learn how to swim.

“Sounds good to me,” Rose chimed in. “Someone needs to cake you in SPF though, Solo. You’ll burn like a Mon Calamari otherwise.”

Rey thoroughly enjoyed the darling, chagrined look that came over him. She would love to see his cheeks a little sunburned, as though blushing.

“Have y’all made breakfast yet?” they heard Poe shout from the living area.

“Give us a minute, your majesty!” Rose yelled back.

“I’ll get out of your way,” Ben said, bowing his head and beginning to leave the kitchen.

“Thank you,” Rose sing-songed, opening cupboards and pulling various ingredients out. “Rey, can you wash those tubers sitting out by the sink? Just scrub them a bit.”

“Sure,” Rey replied, she could handle that.

“Finn?” Rose continued. “I think 3PO got us some Nuna eggs, could you check the fridge?”

Rey brushed by Ben as they passed each other, placing a hand on his arm as they went. She felt Ben place a hand on her back as they did so, sending a smile creeping onto her face. She hid her expression as she approached the sink, reveling in the simple touch.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So, what do you think?”

Rey laughed.

“That’s the fifth time you’ve asked me that, Ben!”

“Well, I just want to make sure you’re having a good time.”

Rey rolled over onto her side, facing Ben where he lay on his back on the blanket, hands behind his head. He looked so peaceful like this, so much less serious and somber than he seemed on base– like all his cares and worries had melted away. Maybe the gardens had that effect on him. Rey had to admit, laying here on one of the lawns while Finn, Poe, and Rose fetched them lunch was quite relaxing.

“I’m having a good time,” Rey assured him, glancing at the stunningly green plant life that surrounded them. “Probably the best time of my life.”

It was a little embarrassing to admit, but it was true nonetheless. She didn’t have a large host of great experiences she could recall, and this trip easily overtook the few she had.

Ben laid his cheek on the blanket, turning to look at her. She watched as his soulful eyes scanned her face, across her cheeks, down to her lips. He wasn’t even trying to hide it.

“Me too,” he said quietly.

“Come on,” Rey protested. “You’ve done so many things. This can’t even be in your top ten.”

Ben looked at her for another moment before turning back toward the sky, closing his eyes.

“But _you’re_ with me this time.”

Rey’s jaw literally dropped. It was the simplicity with which he said it, the honest and true aura exuding from his whole signature in the Force. He wasn’t blocking himself at all, just letting her read him. She didn’t know how to respond. She’d never felt so… treasured. It made her want to cry.

“You’re not so bad either,” she settled with, rolling onto her back again.

Ben laughed, full and deep, and the lovely sound made Rey reach out and grab his hand – assuring him that though she joked, she felt the same way he did. They laid there for a while, letting the sweet chirps of the birds in the trees and the whoosh of the wind through the grass cradle them. Rey ran her thumb as much as she could over Ben’s significantly larger knuckles, trying to pour as much love as she could into it.


	13. Swim Lesson

“But why is it so _cold_?”

Rey dipped her toes into the water again. When she had imagined what swimming would be like, she always pictured warm water, like the wash tanks on Jakku, heated by the sun. The lake outside of Hanna City where Ben had brought them was far from warm. It was _frigid_.

Rey could see Ben politely holding back laughter, smiling at her smugly. _He_ apparently had no trouble with the temperature. He was already standing in the waist-deep water, waiting for her. Finn, Poe, and Rose had already taken off for a deeper part of the lake near a small waterfall – they all knew how to swim, and Rey assured them that they should take advantage of their time, she would be fine getting a lesson from Ben in the shallower areas.

At least the water was clear, she could see the slightly rocky bottom just fine. That definitely alleviated some of her worries, knowing that she wouldn’t obliviously step out into a deep trench without any warning. She felt awkward enough in her swimsuit and shorts even without the drowning hazard. While Rose looked amazing in her bikini, Rey felt less than sexy with extra fabric covering her stomach and thighs, but it was worth it to conceal more of her scars. She had noticed Ben’s gaze hovering on what _was_ exposed, but at least he didn’t seem too disgusted by the plethora of purple and brown remnants of injuries past.

“I know it feels cold,” Ben said patiently, “but you have to get in and get moving if you want to get used to it.”

Rey gritted her teeth and placed her whole foot in. As a child of the desert, this water felt like it was going to freeze her insides. But she could clearly see her friends and other beach-goers laughing and playing like nothing was wrong. Maybe she was just a wimp. She looked back up at Ben, who stood a good 20 feet away, deep enough for the water to come up to his waist. He was blessedly shirtless, an experience Rey had only been able to treasure a few times before in the gym on base, while training. He had already dived under the water, making his skin shiny and his hair pushed back slick. It was very distracting– it made it easier for Rey to imagine what he might look like in the shower, with rivulets of water streaking down his chest, dripping at his hard nipples, running between his abs, down to...

“Next foot, now,” he teased her. “Unless you don’t want to learn how to swim, if you’re too scared…”

Rey glared at him, even though she knew he was egging her on. She valiantly stomped her other foot into the water and began walking toward him, practically hopping up and down as the chilly water ascended up her legs. Ben laughed as she cursed and bounced her way toward him.

“You’re doing great,” he encouraged her.

“Shut up,” she said grumpily. “I’m just walking.”

He laughed again, the muscles in his core clenching enticingly. Rey found them a good motivator to keep moving toward him. The water was up over her belly button by the time she finally reached him, grabbing onto his outstretched hands. She felt comforted by his firm grip, as if he would never let her go.

“I hate to tell you this,” he said, “but you’re going to have to get wet. Better to get it over with all at once so that we can do your lesson.”

Rey frowned at him, but knew he was right. She ought to dive under like all the others did, drenching every part of her. 

“You won’t let me drown, right?” she asked nervously.

Ben grinned and squeezed her hands.

“I promise,” he said. “We’ll stay right here, where you can stand. If it’s easier, you can lower to your knees first, then go under quickly. Breathe out through your nose when you go under so you don’t get water up your nose, like this.”

He demonstrated by exhaling through his nose. Rey almost scoffed. She could certainly do that, no need to act like it was something monumentally complicated. Shivering a little, she let go of his hands and followed his instructions and sank to her knees first, whimpering as the cold water came up to her shoulders.

“Do it, get it over with,” Ben suggested. 

Rey nodded, and ducked under. She rose again too quickly to even process what was happening, and the next thing she knew she was back above water and stunningly cold.

“Kriff!” she cursed, jumping up and down and sputtering as she adjusted to her new frozen reality.

Ben was kind enough not to laugh, and just sank to his knees beside her, pulling on her arm so she would kneel in the water again.

“It’s better if you just keep your body in,” he said. “Soon, the outside will feel colder than the water.”

Rey found it hard to believe, but she knew Ben had grown up swimming in this lake.

“Ok,” she said impatiently, “so how do I swim?”

Ben chuckled and placed one of his large hands between her shoulder blades, his touch instantly warming her skin.

“First, you have to learn how to float.”

“I thought you were giving me a swimming lesson.”

“Trust me,” Ben replied. “I am. Everyone starts this way. Learning to float will help you learn how to swim.”

Rey nodded compliantly and went along with his lesson carefully. She wanted to impress him. Floating on her back came easily enough, but it took her a few tries to get used to doing it on her front after experiencing the not-so-pleasant sensation of getting water up her nose. Ben led her a little deeper and taught her how to tread water. It felt strange moving her limbs so freely in the water like that, and it took getting used to. She took every opportunity to grab on to Ben when she needed to, his skin slippery under her touch. She also delighted in the way his wide hands spanned across her back, her stomach, her chest, and occasionally her thighs when he taught her the proper positioning. She knew it wasn’t inherently sexual, but she couldn’t help her overwhelming desire for him. She almost forgot how cold the water was.

After a while, he let her take a break and hang on to him as he waded a little bit deeper. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and her legs around his waist, face to face. She felt warmer this way, tucked against his body. He held her with one arm around her back while the other balanced him in the water. She rested her chin on his shoulder, his hair tickling her cheek as she looked behind them.

“I swear Ben, if you let me drown…”

She felt Ben’s laugh in his chest against hers.

“If I let you drown, who else will let me cuddle them in bed?”

Despite the ice-cold water, Rey’s face immediately heated up. She was glad she was looking over his shoulder, where he couldn’t see her gawk. So he _did_ remember their close embrace in bed, maybe even the more sensual parts.

“I’m sure plenty of people would be happy to cuddle you,” she said. It seemed true enough.

“You’d be surprised how few, actually. And besides, none of them are as cute as you.”

“ _Ben_ ,” she chastised him, her heart fluttering hard in her chest. She wondered if he could feel it.

“Rey,” he said matter-of-factly. She could practically hear the smirk on his face.

“If I didn’t know better, I would say that you’re flirting with me.”

“Maybe I am,” he responded quickly. “Would that be so bad?”

Rey smiled into his shoulder. It was fun, flirting with him. Especially because he was flirting back.

“I suppose not,” she answered quietly.

She watched the small beach behind them as he walked them deeper, nearly up to her neck. He stopped and folded his other arm around her, hugging her close. It was nice, being held like this, just for the sake of being held. Rey’s heart ached with affection for him. She let herself relax in his arms.

“Rey, what are you thinking?” Ben asked after a few silent moments.

“Hm?”

“Your Force signature… it’s… interesting. It feels like you’re humming,” he explained. “It’s calm, but just… resonant I guess.”

Rey closed her eyes and reached out with the Force. Ben was blinding in her mind’s eye, radiant and pulsing. But it was contented, fulfilled almost.

“Yours is too,” she replied. “You feel happy.”

“I am,” he said, “but you didn’t answer my question.”

Rey took a moment, but decided to be truthful.

“I was just thinking about how nice it is to be held. I guess… I’ve never been held before.”

She felt Ben turn his head, and a brief pressure against her hair, maybe a kiss, like the one he placed on her arm earlier in bed.

“I’ll hold you anytime,” he said lowly, seriously, into her ear, making something tighten deep within her.

“Ben?”

“Hmm.”

Rey leaned back, bringing them face to face again. She watched his eyes take in her face, as if he was trying to memorize every miniscule detail. She had to tell him how she felt, right? Everything was so open between them right now. What she really wanted to do was kiss him. His lips were so pink and full, shining from the water. She wanted to say with her lips what was too difficult to do so with words.

She pulled an arm out from around his neck, and reached up to cup his cheek. He smiled into her hand, deep lines forming at the corner of his mouth and eyes. He looked so young this way, and beautiful. He definitely didn’t smile enough.

“What?” he asked.

“I… you make me feel…,” Rey murmured, rubbing her thumb across his chin, “... I like spending time with you.”

It was far from what she wanted to say, but his gorgeous brown eyes had her flustered, and she had little practice in expressing her emotions.

“Is that all?” he asked teasingly, apparently aware of her shortcoming.

“No,” she answered defiantly, determined to get it right. “I mean… I’m not sure that I…”

Her brave resolve seemed to disintegrate as she looked at him, his smile melting her, his close hold on her dashing every coherent thought from her brain.

He eventually spoke, saving her.

“Rey,” he said slowly. “Do you know how much I care about you?”

She shook her head no. She had some idea that he might like her, but she could never quite figure out what he was thinking.

“Then I’ll tell you,” he said simply. “I really like you, I have since the moment I met you. I didn’t want to scare you with how intense my feelings are, I know you haven’t had much experience dating. But… I can’t help it. I’ve never felt so strongly about someone like this before.”

Rey swallowed, her throat dry. It was scary, what he was saying. It should frighten her, being so valued by someone that could leave her, like her parents. Part of her would do anything to keep from getting hurt. But there was another, fervent part of her that yearned for love, for companionship. A part that admired Ben and wanted to spend every second with him. And she couldn’t ignore that part no matter how hard she tried.

“I… I feel it too,” she whispered. “Ben… I never knew what people were talking about when they said that they had feelings for someone. But when I met you… I… I think I know now.”

Ben smiled again against her hand, and Rey felt a warm sensation wash over her. She recognized it– Ben was inviting her into his mind. She let herself sink in against his Force signature, peering into his head. It was soft, like the bed in the apartment, or a comforting hug. She closed her eyes and listened as he continued.

“I’ve been wandering for a long time now,” he said. “Between time on base or off with my dad, I’ve never been sure where I would end up even a month in advance. But now when I picture my future... my life... the only thing I can see clearly is you. No matter what I’m doing, where I’m going, I just want _you_ there.”

Rey could see it, the images he pushed into her mind. Them on the Falcon together, flying over another green planet. On base, sharing a bed in a small room. At the apartment, having an intimate dinner. Holding hands, embracing, even showering together.

“ _Oh_ ,” she breathed out.

Then she saw herself, his vision of her, the way he saw her. She was standing at the shore of the lake, testing the water with her foot and grimacing. Although she was in an ugly one-piece swimsuit with shorts, she looked beautiful, at least to Ben. There was an overwhelming feeling of complete and utter adoration that nearly knocked Rey out with its intensity. She felt a tear slip down her cheek, and then a gentle push from Ben’s mind, sending her back out of his head.

She opened her eyes to look at him again, his warm gaze sweeping over her.

“Ben, I…”

One glance down at his lips, pink and inviting, was all it took for Rey to kiss him. She leaned toward him and pressed her mouth against his, unsure how exactly to do it. But his lips were warm, and it felt so right to push herself even closer to him. Ben kissed her back, gentle and slow, like he wanted to remember every microsecond. Something blossomed in the Force between them as they kissed, like it was celebrating their union. Bright flashes of brilliant, happy colors.

She got it now, why people liked to kiss. It felt like she and Ben were becoming one. The way he held her so tenderly, and pecked at her lips… it was wonderful. She wasn’t the best at explaining herself, but she could tell him through their kiss. She forgot to breathe, so consumed by the sweet touch of their noses and how he tasted.

When he pulled back, he wrapped her up even tighter in his arms, hugging her like he was afraid the water would wash her away. She tucked her face into his neck, lips resting at his pulse, and threaded her fingers into his hair, sighing in relief. She did it. She told him how she felt, sort of. He did most of the talking, but she agreed when the time came and she could tell that he could read her clearly. 

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while,” she admitted against his skin.

Ben let out a frustrated-sounding moan.

“You have no _idea_ how badly I’ve wanted to do that.”

Rey blanched. He had?

“Why didn’t you?!”

“I don’t know…” he mumbled into her hair. “I’m not used to making the first move. And I was nervous.”

“Why would _you_ be nervous? I’m the one who’s never even kissed anyone before.”

“I don’t know… I just… I didn’t want to mess it up. If I messed this up… I don’t even know what I would have done.”

Rey huffed. Never in a million years did she think that Ben Solo of all people would be _scared_ to make a move on someone. Maybe she wasn’t as abnormal as she thought, if a Skywalker had been as much of a coward as she was.

All of a sudden, Ben laughed against her, and held her a bit away from him so he could look at her.

“What?” she asked, confused.

“You’re shivering,” he answered with a grin. “Come on, let’s get you out of the water.”

“I told you it was cold,” she said as he began to walk them back toward the beach.

“Yes, you did,” he agreed good-naturedly. “Next time, I’ll take you somewhere warmer. Maybe some hot springs.”

“Sounds good to me,” her teeth chattering next to his ear.

She wished she could just stay in Ben’s arms like this forever. She was loved here, safe here. She mattered, even though she was a nobody from nowhere. Why Ben, a literal prince and Resistance hero, would care so much for her was a mystery, but then again, Rey would care for him even if he wasn’t all of those things. It felt like their souls were a match, like everything he said and did was just right to her, even if it wasn’t always perfect.

But then, uninvited, the thought of a beautiful, strong woman popped into her head. A surge of panic whipped through her. She had forgotten about it while caught up in their moment, but it wouldn’t be fair not to bring it up.

“Ben?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you… is there someone else that you’re interested in?”

“What?”

He placed her down on her feet on the beach, the warm sand a welcome source of heat. She had to tilt her head up to look at him now.

“Your dad said you had a crush on someone. It’s alright if you do, I guess… I just… I don’t know… I don’t want to get in the way...”

Ben looked confused, like Rey had just grown a second head.

“And I accidentally overheard you talking about her with Poe,” she continued. “He said she was perfect for you. Are you sure you wouldn’t rather be with her?”

Ben just stood there, still and silent. She could feel his brain working at a million parsecs a second, though his shields were up again. Was he deciding if he still wanted to be with her? She half wished she hadn’t brung it up, but she didn’t want him to regret admitting his feelings to her later. She wrung her hands together, distressed by his lack of response.

“Ben?”

“Wh – what? Why would I be interested in someone else?” he finally asked.

“Because… what I just said. Your dad, you and Poe…”

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” he said with a frown. “But I haven’t felt this way about anyone else… ever.”

Now it was Rey’s turn to be confused.

“What? Are you sure?”

Ben just cocked his head, reaching down next to her to grab one of their towels.

“Uh… am I sure? Yeah, of course I’m sure.”

“Ok,” she said, not entirely convinced. “I just thought… you know… if there was someone else better out there… I wouldn’t want to –”

She yelped as Ben threw the towel around her body, bringing the ends together in front of her and bundling her up tightly. He used his hands to comb the wet hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ears.

“I’m not sure what you heard or who told you what,” Ben said firmly. “But I haven’t even been remotely interested in anybody for a few years. I kind of gave up, to be honest. And there is no one better. Not for me.”

He pinched her earlobes between his fingers before letting go and reaching down for his own towel.

Rey just stared at him. She heard his words, but couldn’t comprehend them. What was he talking about with Poe, then? What was Han on about?

“Rey!”

Finn’s voice made its way from the water as her three other friends came back toward them.

“How was it?” Rose asked.

“Cold,” Rey answered honestly.

They laughed, and trudged up the sand to join her and Ben by their belongings.

“So, are you a swimming expert yet?” Poe asked with a playful smile. “I bet you’re already better than Finn!”

“Hey!” Finn protested.

“Not even close,” Rey answered, giggling. “It’s way harder than I thought.”

“She did great,” Ben said. “She’s already treading water.”

“Hey, that’s pretty good,” Rose said, sounding impressed. “Although I’m not surprised, with how athletic you are. Did you have fun?”

“Uh… yeah,” Rey replied, looking over at Ben quickly. She wasn’t quite ready to share with everyone exactly _how_ much fun.

Ben smirked, but changed the topic quickly.

“Let’s head back to the apartment, I think Rey’s still pretty cold.”

They all agreed and dried off as best they could, putting their layers back on. Ben summoned a transport back to the residential district, and kept his arm around Rey the entire ride back. He said that he was trying to warm her up, but Rey got the feeling that he just liked holding her. In fact, it seemed like Ben had always found ways to touch her. It seemed quite obvious now, when she knew how he felt. Rey remembered their very first training session, how much he had touched her. It was a little embarrassing, how naive she had been. But she knew better now, and was certainly not going to take it for granted.

She wondered how and when they would tell their friends. Was that something you told people about – discovering you have feelings for each other? Rey didn’t know anything about the social protocol for that. She wondered if they would be surprised. Thus far, only Rose knew about how she felt. Maybe they would have to be subtle for the rest of the trip, if Ben didn’t want to tell everyone right away. Rey didn’t mind either way, she was happy just to be with him.


	14. In Bed, Pt. II

“Mm. So what exactly do you do when you’re off on missions?” Rey asked leisurely.

She ran her foot along Ben’s calf. Their legs were tangled beneath the covers, and Ben was combing his fingers through her hair as she laid her head on his chest. He’d snuck into the bedroom shortly after Finn, Rose, and Poe had gone to bed, and cuddled her close. They conversed in soft voices, getting to know one another. It was their last night on Chandrila, and Rey didn’t know how much time they would have together when they got back on base before Ben was sent off again.

“Depends,” he answered, his fingertips grazing pleasantly against her scalp. “Sometimes we’re picking up weapons or supplies, sometimes we’re gathering intelligence. Sometimes we’re meeting with a potential ally, or sponsor, trying to convince them to support us.”

“Who does the talking?”

Ben scoffed.

“I do. No one would believe a smuggler. But they trust Leia’s son.”

Rey exhaled a laugh. The small reading light cast shadows of them on the opposite wall, a dark portrait of two lovers. Rey still wasn’t over the wonder of being so comfortable with him. She supposed they’d been building up to this sort of intimacy, small touches leading to embraces, embraces leading to caresses.

“What about your uncle? What does he do?”

“He’s a bit of a nomad,” Ben replied. “I think the whole thing with my grandfather really messed him up. He didn’t really want to be a part of establishing the New Republic. So he travelled for a while, then tried to train me. We didn’t really see eye to eye… I didn’t want to become a Jedi. I couldn’t imagine not having attachments. We kind of fought for a while about it, but after a few years we worked it out. Now he mostly likes being on his own, hanging out on remote planets. He visits base a couple times a year, I’m sure he’ll show up soon.”

“Do you think… nevermind.”

“What?”

“Do you think… can I… should I talk to him about the Force, too?”

Rey didn’t want to upset Ben or make him think that she wasn’t happy with what he taught her. She just knew that speaking to a real Jedi Master was a once-in-a-galaxy opportunity.

“Yeah, of course,” he said, much to Rey’s relief. “He’ll definitely be interested in another Force user. I’d be surprised if he hasn’t already felt your awakening.”

“My awakening?”

“You’ve been growing in your power in the Force,” Ben explained. “It can make quite an impact, even from across the galaxy. I’m not trained enough to sense that type of thing, but my uncle is.”

“Wow,” Rey mumbled. The warmth from Ben’s chest against her cheek was almost comforting enough to put her to sleep, if she wasn’t enjoying talking with him so much.

“I’ll warn you though…” Ben added, twirling a piece of her hair in his fingers. “He may try to convince you to train as a Jedi. Just keep in mind that it’s totally up to you.”

“But you said that Jedi have to give up attachments…”

“Yes.”

Rey turned her head to look up at him, suddenly awakened from the harsh consideration of what becoming a Jedi would mean.

“Well, I can’t do that,” she said simply. “I would have to give up _you_.”

Ben hesitated for a moment, but then leaned in to kiss her soundly, taking her by surprise. Somehow, even through their minty breath from brushing their teeth, he still tasted like _Ben_.

“You have no idea how it makes me feel to hear you say that,” he said throatily when he pulled back.

The hairs on Rey’s arms stood straight up at his low, husky voice. It was confidence-boosting to know she had an effect on him.

“I mean… unless you _want_ me to become a Jedi…” she teased with a grin.

Ben groaned and rolled on top of her, leaning on his forearms and kissing her silly. 

“You can certainly become a Jedi if you want,” he said between kisses. “But then you couldn’t do _this_.”

He thrust his tongue into her mouth, tasting her thoroughly. Rey let out a contented moan and kissed him back, running her tongue along his, sucking at his lips. She loved kissing him.

“Not that you’re biased or anything,” she muttered against his mouth.

“Not at all,” he laughed loudly. 

“Shhh,” she admonished him. She didn’t want to wake up their friends and alert them to their relationship quite yet.

Ben looked at her sheepishly for a second, but then winked and began laying quiet, gentle kisses along her jaw. Rey let out a sigh, sinking into the wonderful, blissed out feeling of being doted upon. She ran her hands up and down Ben’s back, spreading her thighs a bit so that he could settle down in between them, bringing their chests together. He’d reached her neck now, alternating between brushing his lips softly across it and pulling small bits of skin into his mouth, grazing it with his teeth.

“Kriff, Ben,” she cursed in a high-pitched voice when he found a particularly sensitive spot. She felt it deep in her core, a shuddering, tight feeling.

She felt his haughty chuckle against her skin.

“I thought you wanted to be quiet, sweetheart,” he said.

She slapped his shoulder, and reached a hand up to tug at his hair. She heard and felt his breath hitch against her neck. 

“Reyyy,” he groaned.

He rolled off of her all of a sudden, throwing his head back onto the pillow on his side of the bed. Rey frowned. Had she done something wrong? She wasn’t experienced like he was… maybe he didn’t like what they were doing. She’d seen plenty of holos, but it wasn’t like she could ever practice being intimate with someone.

“What’s wrong?” she asked quietly, afraid of the answer.

Ben let out a sigh, throwing an arm over his eyes.

“Nothing,” he said. “I just… I don’t want to take advantage of you…”

Rey scowled.

“You’re not taking advantage of me,” she argued. “I know I’m not… good at this. But I want to try.”

That made Ben uncover his eyes, and look over at her, brows raised.

“Not… good at this?” he repeated slowly.

“You know,” she said, gesturing between the two of them. “Like… physical stuff. I’ve never done it before.”

Ben rolled onto his side to face her, glaring at her intensely.

“Trust me, Rey,” he said seriously, “you’re _good_ at this.”

His Force signature was dripping with sincerity.

“Oh. Well… then why did you stop?”

“I… I guess I don’t know,” he answered, suddenly looking a little confused himself. “I don’t want to rush you, I need to be careful of that…”

“You’re not rushing me,” she assured him. 

“Yeah, but… I don’t want you to regret anything.”

“Why would I regret it?”

Ben paused, and appeared to think for a moment.

“Sometimes people regret hooking up with someone afterwards,” he answered plainly. “I don’t want that to happen to you. You’re… I couldn’t do that to you.”

Rey took his words into consideration. She’d certainly heard about people on base getting intimate with someone and regretting it later, especially when they had been drunk. It was nice that Ben wanted to make sure… but… it really wasn’t necessary. She’d never been more sure of something. She was ready to chase that feeling she’d had earlier that morning, when his cock was hard against her and his hand was at her breast.

“What can I do to convince you that I won’t regret it?” she asked.

Ben groaned again, leaning back and closing his eyes again.

“What if _I’m_ not ready?” he asked after a few moments.

“Oh.”

Rey felt embarrassed now. Perhaps Ben didn’t want to be physical with her after all. Her heart sunk in her chest, and she felt her lip tremble a bit.

She must not have had her shields up, because Ben rolled over in a heartbeat, wrapping her up in his arms.

“No,” he said, quickly, apparently able to feel her clearly through the Force. “Believe me, I _want_ to. Badly.”

Rey looked at him, his burning brown eyes seeing right through her.

“I just… I don’t want to rush,” he continued. “You’re… I’ve never felt this way about _anyone_ , Rey. I want to take our time. We should date, and fool around for a while. When I have sex with you, I want it to be the right time and place, not trying to be quiet in my parent’s apartment next to our friends. It should be more special than that.”

Rey let out a little relieved giggle, she’d nearly forgotten where they were. She had to agree– she _would_ prefer her first time to be somewhere a little more… secluded. Where, hopefully, she could make him moan loudly. His use of the word ‘when’ was incredibly seductive, and reassuring.

“You have no idea how tempting you are, Rey,” he added in a low voice, ducking into her neck, running a hand down her back, to the top of her ass. “Sometimes I think you were made for me. Or maybe it’s the other way around, I don’t know.”

She couldn’t deny that his praise made her heart flutter again. But it also made her think of somebody.

“So… you don’t want to be with someone else?” she confirmed. Maybe he had changed his mind, decided that he didn’t want someone else anymore.

Ben’s hands stilled, and he pulled back, looking at her with a concerned expression.

“Where are you getting this from?” he asked. “Why would I…”

“I overheard you and Poe a few weeks ago,” she explained again. “You were talking about someone who was perfect for you.”

Ben stared at her severely, his mind clearly working hard.

“What makes you think we weren’t talking about _you_?” he asked, finally.

Rey gaped, completely flabbergasted for a few seconds. She had never considered that _she_ could be the one so coveted, so admired. She thought back hard to the conversation in the hallway. Ben had suggested that he didn’t want to scare her off, that this person didn’t have much experience dating. Poe added that the woman had opened up to Ben surprisingly quickly. Now that she thought about it, these descriptions seemed to match her. With wild accuracy.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, ‘ _oh_ ’,” he said, now the faintest hint of a smile peeking at the corners of his lips. “Is that what you’ve been worried about? That I was interested in someone else?”

“Well, yeah.”

Ben leaned in and kissed her forehead.

“It was _definitely_ about you, Rey. Poe’s been trying to get me to tell you how I feel,” he said. “I’ve felt connected to you since that first night, when you let me show you yourself through the Force, and I _felt_ you. It’s… never been like this. With anyone. I just… I know you might not feel the same way… but I’m at a point in my life where I don’t want to waste any time. I’m sure about you, you know?”

Rey couldn’t quite believe everything she was hearing. She’d been enamored with Ben from the very beginning, even when he called her a scavenger accidentally. But she never imagined that he would be quite as taken with her, a nobody, a scrappy orphan from Jakku. She wasn’t used to these types of emotions, these scary feelings that would break her heart if it didn’t work out between them. Surely she shouldn’t expose herself like this… surely this could only end badly, and she’d be left alone again.

But then she looked into his eyes. Ben wasn’t trying to shield himself, his mind was wide open– he was inviting her in. She let herself sink into him through the Force, and was nearly knocked back by what she found. He was pouring bright white affection and light all over her, like he would give it all to her, if he could. How could it be allowed, to be this giving with love? She didn’t think it was possible. She had certainly hoped it was… she’d searched her whole life for this type of belonging, mostly from parents that never came back for her. But here was Ben, offering it all up to her, free of charge, just hoping that one day she would reciprocate. It was wild, and magnanimous, and dangerous. But certainly it was worth the risk, right? How could it not be, when someone she cared for so deeply wanted to be with her too?

She let down the walls that surrounded her mind, and mentally gestured for Ben to come inside. She could never find the right words to tell him exactly how she felt, so she used the Force. He cautiously fell into her, and she felt his gentle presence warm her from the inside out as she showed him everything. She showed him her first sighting of him– how handsome she found him. She showed him her anxiety upon learning about the Force from him, how she thought it would make her different, and then the relief when she found that it allowed her to connect with him. She showed him her growing attachment to him, and the fear that he could never feel the same way, and her insecurities when she compared herself to other women he could be with. She showed him just how much she wanted him to be happy, and how happy he made her. There was no one that she trusted more than Ben, and bearing all of this to him felt right, natural. Surely there could be no one else for her. She found her belonging in him.

She came out of her trance to the feeling of his lips against her own, kissing her like she was the most precious thing in the galaxy. She whimpered as Ben rolled on top of her again, pressing their bodies together. She held his face as he kissed her, this most beloved man. He slipped a knee in between her thighs, and the slight pressure on her cunt was both a relief and exasperating, because now she wanted more. She rocked against his thick leg through their clothes, sending quivers up her core. He groaned into her mouth, and she felt him stiffen against her stomach. Their kisses became desperate, each determined to prove their devotion. A jolt of Ben’s hips against her own suddenly made her wet. She wrapped her legs around his thigh, seeking satisfaction. Ben moved down to suck at her neck as he thrust against her stomach, forcing her to cover her own mouth to keep her from wailing into the night.

“Ah, Ben,” she blubbered. “So… so good.”

“Kriff,” he cursed, his voice at least muffled against her skin. “Rey…”

Rey had never imagined it would be this good. They weren’t even fucking yet, just imitating it, and already it was life-changing. 

“Keep going,” she encouraged him, pleasuring herself against his thigh.

He was so warm against her, so alive. This kind, generous, thoughtful man. Grinding against him made her jaw lock, the stimulation electrifying her nerves and making her eyes roll back. She wanted to reach in between them to feel his hardness, she wanted his stiff cock in her hand, but she was already so close to finishing that she couldn’t move her arms from around his neck.

“Need you so badly,” Ben breathed into her neck, his lips and tongue messy on her sensitive skin. She could tell he was holding back, mostly letting her get herself off on his leg.

Rey let out a few small cries, the most she could conjure up when every part of her was consumed by the gratifying pressure against her clit. She moaned his name a few times, raking her hands through his hair and along his shoulders, trying to grab as much of him as she could. He felt so good on top of her, his steady weight made her feel safe, and wanted. 

“That’s it,” Ben huffed near her ear. “Good girl.”

The praise was unexpectedly hot, sending another arousing spark down her body. She squeezed Ben’s leg in between her own one last time, her release finally overflowing. It was slow, not the most powerful orgasm she’d had, but wonderful all the same. It was a small wave of heat, just enough to make her body shake and writhe under him and her head to fall back into her pillow, a contented sigh flowing easily from her mouth. What made it incredible was that it came from _him_. She felt Ben place more small kisses across her face, ending on her lips. He’d stopped moving now, just hovering over her as she descended from her peak. She was so happy and relaxed that she laughed against his mouth. Ben smiled in return, and rolled off of her.

“So much for waiting,” he whispered light-heartedly, poking fun at their lack of self-restraint.

“ _Ben_ ,” Rey chastised, “we _barely_ even did anything, I thought you _wanted_ to fool around. Besides, what about you?”

Her gaze wandered down toward his sleep pants, down to where his erection lay. It didn’t seem fair that he shouldn’t get off also. She felt her eyebrows raise at the sight of it through the fabric, it was an impressive size.

But Ben just waved a hand.

“Don’t worry about me,” he said, clearly with some trepidation.

Rey rolled her eyes. She may be a virgin, but she wasn’t timid, or stupid.

“Ben come _on_ ,” she said confidently, feeling emboldened from her orgasm. “I know you want to. You can cum on me if you want.”

Ben’s eyes widened, clearly not expecting her to say something like that. But she’d seen enough holos to know what she did and didn’t want to try. She had to keep from laughing as the tips of his big ears went bright red.

“Kriff, Rey, don’t say shit like that,” he replied quickly, grabbing at his cock, adjusting himself. He couldn’t keep the sharp flashes of desire from reaching her through the Force. His lust was strong and forceful, just like him. His embarrassment flushed on his cheeks, as if she didn’t already know about his fantasies of showering with her. She severely doubted she was the only one with a sexual appetite.

“Why?” she asked devilishly, tempted to see just how far she could push him. She wasn’t normally like this, but something about climaxing made her fearless. “You don’t want to cum on me?”

“What? I didn’t say– that’s not… what?” he stuttered, clearly overwhelmed. Rey wondered if his brain power was diminished from all the blood rushing… elsewhere.

Rey took pity on him.

“It was just an idea,” she shrugged, feigning indifference. “Do whatever you want, I guess. Just thought I could help.”

She saw the moment that Ben finally caught on to her teasing, the shocked expression fading and a wide smirk forming. He swung his arm back over her and used a big leg of his to trap her hips, preventing her from rolling away. 

“Oh no you don’t, you minx,” he growled.

She giggled as he climbed on top of her again, reveling in his enthusiasm.

“You are _something else_ ,” he said, bracketing her with his arms and putting his forehead against hers.

“So is that a yes?” she asked, challenging him, looking down at his lips.

“Were you… were you serious?” he asked, looking skeptical again.

Rey nodded. 

“I just thought…” he murmured, trailing off a little. “I didn’t think you would want to… do stuff this quickly.”

“You thought I wouldn’t?”

“Well, yeah.” 

“Why?” she asked, confused. She thought sex was supposed to be fun, and reciprocative.

“I don’t know,” he said. “I think most people are nervous for their first time… I know I was.”

“You were?”

He nodded, Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat.

“Well,” Rey replied, “I think it’s good that I’m not nervous. I trust you. Isn’t that a good thing?”

A slow, lovely, genuine smile bloomed across Ben’s face. 

“Yeah,” he agreed. “That’s a good thing.”

“Good,” she replied with a smile.

“If you’re ready, I’m ready.”

He leaned down and kissed her for a while longer, more gently and purposefully. She sighed into his lips, happy. She’d be content to lay in bed with him forever– it was so warm and peaceful.

“But really,” he said some indeterminate amount of time later, with a sly grin. “Not tonight. We can fool around more later.”

He spun back over to his side of the bed, pulling her close to him.

“If you say so,” she said sleepily. She had to admit, she _was_ tired after such a long day. Perhaps it would be better when they both had more energy anyway.

He chuckled into her hair, relaying his own exhaustion back through the Force to her. Rey closed her eyes, and focused on Ben’s pulse against her temple. It was soothing, somehow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This scene was much shorter in the original version of the fic I wrote. I wanted to expand it a bit and make a chapter out of it, that's why it took much longer to post, sorry about that!


	15. Back on Base

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all, I know it's been a while. I don't know if I've ever said this on here, but I work in epidemiology. So the past couple of months have been...... wild. And exhausting. Please forgive me for being so slow to edit and release these chapters.  
> This chapter in particular is far more boring than I remember writing it months ago, but... whatever? I'm just happy to be getting it out at this point.  
> Hope you all are staying safe and following recommendations from health professionals and the CDC. That's all the preaching I'll do on that.  
> Wishing all of you the best! <3

After getting the Falcon out of atmosphere and into hyperspace, Ben and Rey retreated to Ben’s quarters on the ship, leaving their friends playing Dejarik in the main cabin. It was bittersweet to leave Chandrila. Rey was looking forward to returning to the now familiar, welcoming Resistance base, but sad to leave Ben’s home planet. Not to mention that he would probably be sent away on a mission by the General soon. She wasn’t ready to say goodbye, even if it was for a short time. She’d _just_ gotten him, she didn’t want to let go.

They alternated between making out, cuddling, and reading from his collection of books for a few hours. It was easy to be content with Ben in her arms. She enjoyed running her fingers across his broad chest, and the way his heart beat fiercely under her hand told her that he enjoyed it too. Eventually, it became time to return to the cockpit and land on Devaron. Rey wondered if their friends were curious as to why they had spent so long in Ben’s cabin, alone.

When they landed on base, they were soon welcomed home by the General and Han.

“How was your trip?” Leia asked, sweeping Rey into a hug she wasn’t quite prepared for. It was her first time being hugged by her superior, and Rey had to admit she was good at it, just like her son. She’d been quite intimidated by the General when she first met her, and she was unaccustomed to following orders. But the woman surprised her every day, and was more loving and generous than Rey ever could have imagined.

“It was amazing,” she enthused. “I’ve never seen a city, it was so big!”

“I’m glad you liked it,” the General said, patting her on the shoulder. “We spent quite a few years there. I miss it often.”

She moved over to Ben next, making him lean down to hug her.

“We were just gone for a few days, mom,” he complained.

“Well, I’m happy any time you return safely,” she replied. “Even when it’s just from leave.”

“Is the Falcon ok?” Han piped up after patting his son on the back, looking over his ship skeptically.

Ben rolled his eyes.

“No, we crash-landed and it burned to pieces.”

Han chuckled good-naturedly. He seemed accustomed to his son’s teasing.

“Well, you never know with that flyboy Dameron in the cockpit,” he said.

“Actually,” Poe interrupted as he got off the ship and joined the group. “Rey co-piloted.”

There was a moment when Han’s expression turned blank, and then suddenly his eyes bugged out of his head. Rey had never seen Han surprised by anything before, but now he looked absolutely dumb-founded. Rey was amazed his jaw didn’t fall off with how low it was hanging. Even his energy was suddenly muted. What was once a peaceful grass green was now blanked out, grey and lifeless. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Ben elbow Poe in the side and scowl at him.

“She– she did?” Han stuttered quietly.

The General stepped in, taking her husband by the arm.

“Oh Han, let it go.”

“Princess– you know the rule…”

“Yes, but it’s none of our business, now let’s let these kids unpack and–”

“Ben!” Han continued, looking over at his son. “Is this true?”

Ben’s eyes darted between Rey and his father. She was a little confused as to why he looked so nervous all of a sudden. Was she not allowed to co-pilot? She hadn’t thought to ask Han if it was alright, she assumed Ben wouldn’t have let her if Han had a problem with her co-piloting… what was this rule he was talking about?

“Ah, well, yeah,” Ben stuttered. He was doing that thing where he was leaning front and back on his feet, his hands in his pockets, almost like a child who was being caught doing something naughty. “I mean yes. She co-piloted. With me. But it’s not–”

“Really?” Han interrupted him. He stared at his son for a few moments, and Rey was scared he was going to get angry, maybe even start yelling. But then, to her surprise, he broke out into a smile and he started laughing. Full-bellied, joyful laughing. His signature in the Force burst forth in bright spirals of bright orange and red. He shoved Ben’s shoulder, then reached up to give him a noogie. Rey looked on, perplexed as Ben fought off Han’s attempt at a hug, looking thoroughly embarrassed. Then, before she knew it, Han turned to her, and wrapped his arms around her too. 

“Oh!”

“We’re glad to have you, Rey!” he shouted, patting her on the back rigorously.

“Uh, thanks?” she responded, a little confused by his sudden change in mood and his playful rowdiness.

Meanwhile, she saw the General covering her eyes, sighing deeply. Ben was running his hands through his hair, like he always did when he was stressed, and shaking his head.

“I never thought he would work up the courage, I have to be honest,” Han said, stepping back to hold her by the shoulders. “It took me years to ask his mother–”

“Dad!” Ben suddenly cut in, forcefully pulling his arm away from Rey. “Maybe we can talk about it later, alright?”

“Oh, don’t be such a party pooper, kid! Let your old man enjoy the moment he thought might never come!”

The General was tugging at him too now, looking just as tense as Ben.

“Han, can I steal you away for a moment?” she asked with an urgent, commanding tone.

He finally looked over to Leia.

“Uh, sure,” he answered, finally seeming a little distracted from whatever was making him so giddy.

“Over there,” Leia elaborated, pointing to a corner of the transport bay, pulling him.

“Sure, sweetheart,” he said, looking over to Ben and Rey. “Be right back, kids!”

Rey watched as they walked away, still thoroughly baffled by whatever just happened. When she glanced over at Ben, he was swatting Poe away, heading back inside the Falcon. Poe looked at her nervously before darting his eyes away and rushing away with his bag. Confused, she followed Ben up the gangplank.

“Sorry about that,” he said when he noticed her behind him. “He’s crazy.”

“That was a little… weird,” she agreed, turning into the hallway to face him. “What is he so excited about?”

“He… uh… I don’t know,” Ben said. He was looking away and mumbling, clearly lying. She didn’t even need the Force to tell.

“Bennn,” she whined. “Don’t lie to me.”

Ben sighed.

“I think he’s just confused,” he said, his Force signature far more honest-looking now. “Would you mind grabbing the bags out of my quarters? I’ll take care of the rest.”

Rey knew he was changing the subject to avoid discussing something, but she acquiesced and did as he asked. As she shuffled their bags off of the Falcon, she peeked over to see the General speaking with Han, gesturing wildly and occasionally pointing back at the Falcon. Han looked confused, and when his eyes caught on Rey he looked away quickly, looking almost a little distressed. Rey got the feeling she was missing something.

Ben ran and caught up with her in the barracks, leaning in to kiss her cheek as he took his bag from her. She still got butterflies whenever they touched, she wondered how long that would last.

“What should we do for the rest of the day?” she asked him. They still had the rest of the day off, and she wanted to take advantage of it.

“Hmmm,” he replied, throwing his arm over her shoulders as they walked down the hallway. No one was in the barracks at this time of day, so Rey didn’t need to worry about anyone seeing them. Not that she was ashamed, she just didn’t want any extra attention, and dating the Skywalker heir himself would probably draw it.

“How about we go for a walk outside? I need to stretch my legs after that flight.”

“Sounds good to me,” she answered, stopping in front of her room. “I need to change first. Meet me here after you drop your stuff off?”

Ben was about to answer when Kaydel’s voice came over the intercom, echoing through the hallway.

“Would Ben Solo please report to General Organa’s office? Ben Solo to General Organa’s office.”

Ben groaned, tilting his head back.

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear it,” he said grumpily.

“Ben!”

“What? I want to hang out with you!”

“You can’t ignore your mom!”

“Works well enough for my dad,” he grumbled.

Rey poked him in the side.

“Just go meet with her, then come to my room when you’re done. Then we can go for a walk.”

“Fine,” he acquiesced, smiling and leaning down to press a kiss against her lips. “If I’m gone for longer than 10 minutes, come rescue me.”

“I’m not going to barge into the General’s office just to steal you away.”

“You’re no fun,” he pouted, smiling again at her.

“Now go!” she said, slapping him on the ass. He jumped a bit, raising his eyebrows at her and taking off the opposite way down the hall.

Rey sighed happily as she entered her own room. She rejoiced at the sight of _her _bed. It was smaller and less comfortable than the one on Chandrila, but it was her very first real bed, and it was perfect to her. She quickly put away her things and laid down on it, putting her hands behind her head enjoying her room’s familiar smell. It was so strange to have such a deep connection to somewhere she’d only lived three months, but it was nice all the same. She closed her eyes, reminiscing about all of the wonderful experiences she’d had over the past few days. Ben’s beautiful smile flashed through her memory, making her feel warm and giddy inside. Seeing him happy did funny things to her, and there was an unmistakable sense of pride to be the one that made him so.__

__A soft knock on her door drew her out of her reflection. Rey opened her eyes, wondering if she had imagined it. The knock sounded again, and she scrambled out of her bed to answer. Expecting Ben, Rey was surprised when the General was behind the door when she opened it._ _

__“General!” she said, flustered._ _

__“At ease, Rey,” Leia said with a smile. “Just a social call. Do you mind?” she asked, pointing toward the chair in her room._ _

__Rey gestured her inside, suddenly feeling embarrassed by the small mess of things she’d dumped in the corner when she walked in. It was a very small room, so it was very noticeable._ _

__“I thought you were meeting with Ben?” she asked._ _

__“He’s speaking with Han right now in my office,” the General answered vaguely, sitting down._ _

__“Oh, ok.”_ _

__Rey sat down on her bed to face her, still a little nervous to have Leia in her room._ _

__“I’m so glad you enjoyed your leave,” the General said cheerily. Her genuine smile eased Rey’s mind a little._ _

__“Thank you,” she replied with a happy sigh. “Thanks again for letting us all take leave together, it was so much fun.”_ _

__“You’re welcome,” she answered. “You all work hard, we can certainly make some allowances. Things have been quiet from the First Order recently, so it was a good time to let you go.”_ _

__“And thank you for letting us stay in your apartment.”_ _

__The General waved her hand dismissively._ _

__“I’m never even there anymore,” she said. “I’m just glad someone’s getting use out of it.”_ _

__“It was lovely,” Rey enthused._ _

__“I hope you get a chance to see even more lovely places, Rey. I’m sure Ben would be more than happy to take you across the galaxy.”_ _

__Rey was about to respond, but then she processed what the General said. Did she know something about her and Ben? She felt heat rise to her cheeks._ _

__“Oh please, Rey,” she continued knowingly. “I’m not blind. I know you two are together. I must admit, I had a feeling you two might hit it off.”_ _

__Rey gaped at her. She herself hadn’t fully processed what she had with Ben, but the General seemed to think it was obvious._ _

__“You… you did?”_ _

__“Oh, yes,” Leia answered. “You’re kind, and beautiful, hard-working. And you have an intensity about you that I’ve always seen in Ben… Ben would be a fool if he didn’t see it too.”_ _

__Rey didn’t know what to do with the compliments and the statement in general, so she just continued to gawk at the General._ _

__“I’m sorry if I’m being forward,” the General said, seeming to recognize Rey’s discomfort. “I’m afraid I was raised to speak my mind, and I think it can come as a shock to some people.”_ _

__“It’s alright,” Rey answered around a dry throat. “I like that you’re honest. I just didn’t know you thought those things about me.”_ _

__Leia smiled weakly, and reached her hand out to hold Rey’s, much like how Ben tended to do. It was comforting, and Rey realized suddenly that she was becoming accustomed to touch, thanks to Ben._ _

__“You really are wonderful, Rey,” she continued. “And I’m sorry that so few people have been able to tell you that.”_ _

__Now, in addition to a lump in her throat, Rey felt something behind her eyes build up. She bit on her lip to keep herself from crying. Ben said some of the same things, and she was starting to be convinced of their truthfulness._ _

__“That’s very nice of you, General.”_ _

__“Call me Leia,” she said, squeezing her hand. “I get the feeling we’ll be spending a lot more time together, now that you and Ben are well… seeing each other.”_ _

__“So… you don’t mind?” Rey asked nervously._ _

__“Mind?” the General repeated, now looking perplexed. “Of course I don’t mind! This is fantastic! Ben hasn’t had a girlfriend in years! And you’re the best one by far! Not that there was anything wrong with the others, but now that I’ve seen him with you it’s like a whole new world has opened up for him. That type of connection is hard to find!”_ _

__Rey was overwhelmed by everything Leia was spilling out. She had always been so concerned with who Ben fancied _now_ , and hadn’t given much thought to his _past_ relationships._ _

__“Has he… had a lot of girlfriends?” she asked timidly, fiddling with the hem of her bedsheet._ _

__“Not a lot,” Leia answered easily. “A few crushes when he was a teenager and still in school. But only two you could even consider mildly serious as an adult. But even with those, it was never like this, what you and Ben have.”_ _

__“And what do you think we have?” she replied skeptically._ _

__Leia looked at her for a moment, making Rey feel studied. But the General’s eyes were gentle, and gracious._ _

__“Something… selfless,” she said after a few breaths. “Something destined.”_ _

__It was such a heartbreakingly simple answer, and yet Rey felt its truth resonate in her bones. She would never have thought to describe it in that way, but it was perfect._ _

__“Wow,” she whispered._ _

__“Yes,” Leia agreed. “Wow indeed. I’m so happy for you.”_ _

__“It’s… still new,” Rey responded. She was wary of building up the General’s expectations. No matter how much she thought that Ben could be the only one for her, they’d only just gotten together, and there was no telling if Ben felt the same way._ _

__“Perhaps,” Leia replied. “But you can’t tell me that it hasn’t been growing for weeks. Again, I’m not blind.”_ _

__Rey looked down with a shameful smile. Had they really been that obvious? How did everyone but _her_ notice?_ _

__“No need to be embarrassed, Rey,” Leia said, patting her hand. “Now, what I really wanted to chat with you about was your happiness as a whole. Again, forgive me for being forward, but have you… had a lot of relationships?”_ _

__Rey looked up, a bit shocked by the sudden shift in conversation. The General was right, she _was_ forward. However, Rey found that she didn’t particularly mind. She trusted the General, like she trusted Rose. There was a strong feeling of female camaraderie, even if she was her superior. _ _

__“I… uh… you mean romantic?”_ _

__Leia nodded._ _

__“Romantic, or otherwise. Again, forgive me for assuming, but I know you were pretty isolated before joining the Resistance… I just want to make sure you’re comfortable.”_ _

__“I’m comfortable,” Rey assured her. The last thing she wanted was for the General to think she was ungrateful for her new position and the way her life had been flipped upside down. The Resistance was the best thing to have ever happened to her._ _

__Leia just looked at her, and Rey could tell she was waiting for her to continue, to answer her question._ _

__

__“But I… um… no. I’ve never had a… romantic… relationship. Or really… any relationships. Not before coming here.”_ _

__A somber flash of blue danced over Leia’s aura. Rey was a little surprised by it, considering she normally didn’t gleam a lot off of Leia’s Force signature. Now that she thought about it, it was rather strange how muted the General’s aura seemed to be all of the time. Perhaps that was something to discuss with Ben…_ _

__“Well, I do hope you feel like you’ve made some here,” Leia replied, sounding worried._ _

__“I have!” Rey gushed. “Rose really helped me when I first moved here, and Finn and I hang out all the time, and Poe taught me how to pilot… everyone has been so nice._ _

__“I’m glad,” Leia responded. “I know it can be a tough transition, you’re not the only person here who came from a tough environment. I just wanted to make sure you’re happy.”_ _

__“I am,” Rey emphasized._ _

__“I’m so glad. Let me know if you ever need anything.”_ _

__“I’m perfect, I don’t need anything,” Rey answered immediately._ _

__Leia chuckled._ _

__“I know that’s your default answer, but really. We’re all here to help each other. Please don’t be afraid to ask for something.”_ _

__Rey took a moment to really appreciate Leia’s offer, and to take it seriously._ _

__“I will,” she said more sincerely._ _

__“Good. Speaking of needing anything, did you… receive _all_ of our health services when you were recruited?”_ _

__“All?” Rey asked. She’d gotten what felt like hundreds of vaccinations and scans and diet recommendations when she’d been inspected by the med droids and then the doctor. They were _very_ thorough… far more thorough than she was comfortable with._ _

__“Yes, all,” the General repeated… “like… birth control, for example.”_ _

___Oh_. Rey felt her cheeks flush and her hands go clammy immediately. She tried not to think about why Leia would be asking._ _

__“Yes, I did,” she squeaked out, remembering the painful shot inside of her bicep on her left arm._ _

__“Oh, Rey, I don’t mean to embarrass you,” Leia said sympathetically. “I just want to make sure you’re protected, that you feel in control. I’m asking as a fellow woman, that’s all.”_ _

__The tension in Rey’s neck released slightly, but she was still flustered._ _

__“Yes… I’m… I’m good,” she answered._ _

__“Marvelous. I want to make sure all of the women here feel safe, and cared for, that’s all.”_ _

__Leia’s soothing voice eased some of Rey’s discomfort. It was nice to have someone care for her like that, someone that didn’t need to but did it anyway._ _

__“Thank you,” she said earnestly, “that means a lot to me.”_ _

__“You’re welcome,” the General answered. “And do you… have someone you can talk to about… that sort of thing?”_ _

__Rey nodded. The doctor had given her a _thorough_ lesson on the health-related aspects of sex and reproduction when she arrived, even though she knew most of it beforehand. And what she didn’t know about the… recreational... side of it from holoporn, she felt comfortable enough to ask Rose._ _

__“I… I do,” she answered._ _

__Leia nodded, satisfied with her truthfulness._ _

__“Well, you always have Dr. Kalonia if you need anything. Or me. Really, I won’t judge.”_ _

__Rey looked down, reminded of the possibility of Leia knowing _anything_ about her and Ben’s physical relationship. It was mortifying._ _

__“Thank you, General.”_ _

__Leia patted her hand again, and stood up._ _

__“Well, I’m sure I’ve made you uncomfortable enough for today,” she said jokingly. “Time to go embarrass someone else. That’s my duty as a mom, you see.”_ _

__Rey smiled. She loved the General’s playful side._ _

__“I really appreciate… everything,” she said shyly, standing up to join the General as she made her way to Rey’s door._ _

__“Of course, dear,” Leia answered. “Seriously, anytime, just comm Kaydel to see when I’m free.”_ _

__Rey opened the door to see Ben walking up to it. He grinned when he saw her, but it quickly faded when he saw his mother behind her._ _

__“Mom, what are you doing here?” he asked, a little rudely._ _

__“Just talking with Rey,” the General said nonchalantly, passing by her and patting Ben’s arm as she exited the bedroom._ _

__“About what?” Ben nagged her._ _

__“Oh, mind your own business, Ben. I’m allowed to talk to my recruits when I want,” his mother chastised him._ _

__Ben scowled, but conceded. He watched Leia walk down the hallway before he turned back to Rey._ _

__“Was she bothering you?” he asked._ _

__“Bothering me?”_ _

__Rey would never consider anything the General did to be a bother._ _

__“Be honest,” Ben said._ _

__“No!” Rey exclaimed. “Why would she be a bother?”_ _

__“No,” Ben said, shaking his head. “That’s not what I meant. I just meant… like… did she say anything about… me?”_ _

__Rey grinned. It seemed Ben was more nervous about what Leia might have said about him, as opposed to upset that they were speaking at all._ _

__“Nothing too bad,” she teased him, grabbing his hand to pull him into her room. She found his worriedness endearing. “What did your dad want? Was it about me flying the Falcon?”_ _

__Ben’s face suddenly paled, which was a feat considering how pale he was normally._ _

__“What?”_ _

__“Your dad, was he mad about me co-piloting?”_ _

__“Mad? No… no! He wasn’t mad. We were talking about… something else.”_ _

__Rey looked at him suspiciously. She knew he was lying again, but she also knew he probably wasn’t lying to hurt her in any way. She decided to let it go for now. Besides, she had better things to do with him than argue._ _

__“I know you wanted to go for a walk,” she said, pulling him further into her bedroom, letting the door shut behind them. “But I thought maybe we could just… stay here?”_ _

__She watched Ben swallow thickly, his Adam’s apple bobbing._ _

__“Yeah?” he asked, his self-assured half-grin returning._ _

__“Yeah.”_ _

__“I think that’s a great idea,” he said deeply._ _

__Rey kicked at his feet to get him to toe off his shoes, then dragged him toward her bed._ _


	16. Back to Work

Rey forcefully tugged at the piece of paneling covering the S-foil servo on an X-wing, dented and stuck in place from a recent run-in with a group of pirates on a planet the pilots were scouting for First Order bases. It wouldn’t budge, and she was getting more frustrated by the second. Sure, she was annoyed that Ben was set to leave base the following day, but that had nothing to do with it. This piece of paneling was driving her crazy. She swore, banging at it with her fist.

“You know you could use the Force to do that, right?”

Speaking of the devil, Rey turned to see Ben, standing behind her, assessing the scene she was making.

“To do what?” she snapped back testily.

“To get that off,” he replied patiently, pointing at the back of the X-wing.

“I can get it,” she said, turning back around continuing to bang at it with her fist. She wasn’t in the mood to look at Ben. He was leaving soon anyway.

“Rey,” she heard from behind her, Ben’s voice gentle and soft.

“I can get it,” she repeated, shoving her hand under one side of it while pulling with the other. She put her back into it, and felt something give. She was about to celebrate her triumph, but a jolt of searing pain emanated from her hand. Looking down, she was surprised by a veritable gush of blood coming from her left palm.

“Kriff,” she muttered. “Karking X-wing…”

Before she could step away to grab a rag, Ben’s hand circled her wrist, and he raised it in the air, above her heart.

“You should be more careful,” he admonished her.

Rey frowned.

“Don’t tell me what to do.”

Ben sighed. He had already grabbed a clean cloth from her station and pressed it hard onto her palm, encircling it with both hands to apply steady pressure. He gently pulled at her to get her to sit down with him on the bench, which she did, despite her internal protest.

“Rey, what’s wrong?” he asked.

She looked down at the floor. It was hard to be mad when he was caring for her wound, and being so sweet.

“Nothing,” she lied.

“Rey,” he repeated patiently. “I know that’s not true. It’s ok if you don’t want to tell me, but don’t lie and say that nothing’s wrong. I can feel it.”

She shuffled her boot against the floor, and took a deep breath. She knew she was being difficult. And it wasn’t Ben’s fault that he was being sent away. That was his job, and the Resistance depended on him.

“I don’t want you to leave,” she admitted quietly.

They’d only had a few days together after returning from Chandrila before the General had given him his next assignment. She hated that she sounded so needy, so clingy. It was something she had worked so hard to overcome, to not crave attention or hold on to the thought of companionship.

“I don’t either,” he said with a sigh. “I don’t want to leave you.”

Rey could gleam a pained shadow from his Force signature, something disappointed. He seemed equally sad to be separating.

“Do you know when you’ll be back?” she asked, trying to be less irritating.

“Hard to say,” he answered. “This is reconnaissance, not just a supply run. Could be a week, could be a few weeks. It’s hard to predict.”

Rey hissed as he applied more pressure to the cut on her palm. She’d had far worse injuries on Jakku, but they weren’t accompanied by the pain of heartbreak.

“Do you mind if I try something?” Ben asked from beside her.

This made her finally look up at him. He was attentively holding her hand, brow furrowed in concentration.

“Try what?”

“I’m going to… I think… I want to try to heal your hand.”

“What… with bacta?”

“No,” he answered, shaking his head. “I mean… with the Force.”

Rey blinked.

“It can do that?!” she asked.

“I think so,” he replied thoughtfully. “I’ve read about it. And our connection is so strong.”

“How does it work?”

“I transfer some of my life energy to you, let the healing wash over you.”

“But won’t that just take away from you? From _your_ life energy?”

“Just temporarily,” he answered. “It will renew through our Force connection.”

“Are you sure?” she asked. She didn’t want to do anything that would hurt him.

“Pretty sure,” he answered with a handsome half-grin.

“ _Pretty_ sure?” Rey repeated. “It’s just a cut, Ben. Bacta will fix it right up...”

“Exactly,” he interrupted. “Low stakes. Seems like the perfect time to try it.”

He was smiling now, and Rey could tell that he was excited by the idea. He knew far more about the Force, he had actually studied it. Who was she to deny him?

“Well,” she said, “if you’re sure... just make sure you stop if it hurts you at all.”

“I will,” he agreed. “You as well, tell me if something feels wrong.”

She nodded, and let him bring their clasped hands to his heart. She saw him close his eyes, so she did the same. She made sure to open her mental gates to let him, let him wash over her and into her. She could feel him searching for her hand from inside of her mind, and wrapping himself ever so gently around it when he found it. She felt a strange tingle, almost itchy in a sense, resonate in her hand, along her palm. She felt warmth and affection coursing through the threads that connected her and Ben, thrumming with life. Her hand felt like it was burning without heat, not pleasant but also not painful. It felt like it was being pumped full of energy. Before she knew it, she felt Ben recede from her mind, slide out and away, pulling the threads loose. She opened her eyes to find him already looking at her with a smile. She peered down to her hand resting in his, and pulled away the rag. There was still blood drying on her skin, but the cut looked stitched up, just a faint scar lay where there had been a large gash seconds earlier. She looked back up at Ben in shock.

“It worked!”

He laughed softly.

“That it did.”

He reached over to grab another cloth, pouring some water on it from her bottle and cleaning off the blood still on her palm. She watched him in awe as she tended to her, struck with love for him. 

“That was amazing,” she said lowly. “I had no idea you could heal people.”

“I told you, I’ve never done it before,” he explained. “I’ve read of Jedis doing it, but it was never one of Luke’s specialties. I think our connection helps, also. Next time I’m hurt, I can teach you how I did it.”

Rey could still field the electric arc between them, their energies intertwined. Their bond was only strengthening the more time they spent with one another, and Rey was afraid of what would happen when he left. Would it hurt, to be separated from someone so wholly ingrained within her? The anxiety and sadness wormed their way back in, draining any joy she’d felt from the healing.

“What’s wrong?” Ben asked instantly. She was sure he could feel the sharp shift in her mood.

“I’m just being selfish,” she said truthfully, “wanting you to stay.”

Ben hummed and dried off her hand, placing the rag beside him. He used both arms to pull her against him, hugging her close. She rested her head against his shoulder, and tried to memorize his touch.

“Believe me,” he said. “I’ve never wanted to not go on a mission so badly before.”

“I just hope you come back soon.”

“Me too,” he agreed. He turned his head to kiss her temple. Warmth returned to her chest, as if their bond was pleased with their intimacy. It certainly vibrated the strongest when they embraced, or kissed. Rey often wondered what it would be like when they finally had sex. They hadn’t found a good time or place to do it yet. Their walls were razor thin, their beds were tiny, and their schedules were packed with work. As eager as she was, she wanted to honor Ben’s desire for something more romantic. She was getting used to it, his Core-raised sensibilities. He opened doors for her, and insisted on doing things in a certain order. He was like one of the protagonists in his paper books– with impeccable manners and the inclination to take their time to woo their partner.

“What are you thinking about?” Ben muttered against her temple.

“Oh, just thinking about the next chance we’ll have to be alone… really alone,” she said cheekily. He knew that she was getting impatient.

He groaned into her hair, and Rey could feel his frustration through their bond.

“We could run away tonight. Then I won’t have to leave tomorrow. We can pack the Falcon and take off,” he whispered.

She laughed, knowing that deep down, he couldn’t do it. He was too loyal to the Resistance’s cause, and, honestly, too much of a mama’s boy to disobey.

“I like that idea,” she teased, rubbing his knee with her hand. “Where would we go?”

“I was thinking Naboo, maybe,” he said. “It’s so green there, you would love it.”

Rey closed her eyes, imagining it. Ben had told her about his grandmother’s home planet– lush, peaceful, with waterfalls and open expanses of land.

“That sounds nice,” she mused.

“We could work on your swimming,” he teased.

“You just want me with my clothes off,” she teased back.

“True,” he admitted boldy. “All the time. Constantly.”

Rey gripped his knee harder, leaning in to speak directly into his ear.

“You know you can take whatever you want, right?”

She felt Ben’s breath hitch, a low, rumbling noise emanating from his throat.

“I know what you’re trying to do,” he said hoarsely. His arms were holding her almost too tightly now.

“I’m not trying to do anything,” she lied, unable to wipe the smile off of her face.

“Is that so?”

Ben dipped his face into her neck, placing a kiss against her pulse point. Rey’s own breath now felt heavy in her chest.

“I’ve got to say, it’s working,” he muttered against her skin. 

A shiver worked its way down her body. Every day with Ben ended up becoming another opportunity to be turned on, it seemed.

“I have to get back to work,” she mourned. She wished she could drag Ben to her room and have her way with him, but it was the middle of the afternoon. And there was no way she would ever sacrifice her position in the Resistance by skipping out.

Ben sucked at her neck, clearly displeased by her response.

“So you get me all worked up, and then leave? You are too cruel, sweetheart.”

Rey opened her mouth to respond, but a yell from across the transport bay interrupted.

“Hey! Knock it off! No necking in the hangar!”

Rey practically leapt away from Ben’s arms, scooting over to the far side of the bench.

She watched Ben bury his face in his hands, and then she glared over at Han, who was gleefully smiling, apparently pleased to have told them off.

“Are you sure you don’t want to run away?” Ben joked, smiling wearily at her.

“We seriously need some time alone,” she lamented.

“I’ll see what I can do,” he replied, leaning over to lay a peck on her cheek. “I’ll see you at dinner?”

Rey nodded, sad that she would have to go another few hours without him. She shook her head as she watched him leave. It was scary, how dependent she had become on him. But, at the same time, it was thrilling. Wonderful, and ridiculous, and overwhelming. She knew that this bond between them, the way they connected through the Force, was something unique. What they had was special, there was no denying it. And Rey couldn’t wait for more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all, hope you are well. I'm wishing you all the best in this scary time.  
> As I mentioned the last time I posted, work as been absolutely buckwild (I work in epidemiology), so my editing and posting is totally going to be sporadic and probably not good.  
> That being said...  
> Please stay the fuck home (if and when you can). It's frightening to see just how many people are not obeying distancing and shelter in place protocols. It's downright selfish. People (including me), have been trying to prevent disease outbreak our entire lives. And when it's actually a crisis, people don't take it seriously.   
> That's enough of my shaming for now lol. I hate to be so condescending and negative but I feel that some people really need to hear it.


	17. Storage Closet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben returns from his mission.

It ended up being just over two weeks that Ben was gone. Rey had counted each day carefully. Thankfully, she was able to stay fairly busy, which provided a little bit of distraction from missing him. The Resistance had gotten a donation of a large transport ship from an old friend of the General, and it needed a lot of work. She’d spent the two weeks working on it all day, and would be so tired that she went to bed early every night. She and Ben had been able to send a few comms back and forth, but she didn’t want to distract him from his mission, and neither of them really liked communicating through them anyway. 

She hung out with Rose, Finn, and Poe when she got the chance, and even trained with Snap and Salaka at the gym in the mornings. Neither of them were particularly good at sparring, but she had fun attempting to teach them, and they were able to laugh at their own mistakes. In all, life had returned to normal– like how it was on base before she met Ben. But normal wasn’t good enough. Normal didn’t feel right anymore, now that there was a space in her heart where Ben lived. She missed the way he held her, and the sound of his laugh. She missed running her fingers through his hair, and watching him help the new Resistance recruits with piloting or shooting a blaster. Her bed felt lonely without him, even though objectively it was far more comfortable in the small frame of it without a large man beside her.

Something inside of her hurt, not knowing when he would be back, not knowing when she’d be able to kiss him again. And then there was always the chance that something could go wrong. He wasn’t on leave, he was an insurgent on a covert mission. Any number of things could happen to him. But Rey couldn’t let herself worry about that, she didn’t have the capacity for it. She could only miss him, and feel incredibly and completely alone, like she had on Jakku. It felt like half of her soul was gone with him, which was a scary feeling. She had realized in the two weeks that she loved him, which she didn’t know she was capable of before. She’d never known what it felt like to be loved or to love, but it was clear as stars now, and it was terrifying, and thrilling. She didn’t know how she would react when she saw him again.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was just after 10:00 in the morning when Finn stepped inside the old CSS-1 shuttle she was working on to interrupt her.

“Rey!” he shouted down toward the cockpit. “They’re here!”

Rey dropped the spanner she was holding, letting it clank loudly on the floor. Her feet were ahead of her brain, running down the corridor of the ship toward the gangway.

They had received word from Ben and Han two days earlier that they were heading back, but couldn’t give a clear estimate for their arrival. Rey’s heart had felt squeezed tight the entire two days, her hands shaking and her mind spinning. She was anxious and excited and relieved all at once. And now they were back.

She sprinted off of the shuttle and hustled toward the opposite end of the transport bay, eyes peeled for the Falcon. As she rounded a large freighter, she finally saw it. It had never looked more beautiful to her. She quickly scanned the ground beneath it, and let out a huge exhale when she saw someone tall and familiar. Someone with long, dark, hair and a large nose. A man that was looking for someone amongst the people in the busy hangar. Then, all at once, their eyes met. Rey’s heart melted into goo when she saw Ben smile. She felt all the stress evaporate, and her legs turn to jelly. She was so incredibly and overwhelmingly in love with him.

Her body felt his gravity’s pull, and she ran. Ben dropped a bag he was holding and ran to meet her. She haphazardly flung her arms around him, nearly bowling him over as he caught her, her feet swinging a good five inches off the ground. It felt so right to be in his arms again, his warmth surrounding her. The Force danced between them, threads that were stretched thin now recoiled, tightening and pulsating with energy. Rey knew what people meant when they said that chemistry between two people could be electrifying. 

But embracing him wasn’t good enough. Rey kicked her feet, letting him drop her to the floor, and she grasped his face in her hands. He had a stubble, but she didn’t mind. She savored the feel of his skin against her palms. His deep brown eyes were so happy and loving. She couldn’t wait anymore. She pulled him down to press her lips to his, uncaring that they were in public. He groaned, returning her kiss with fervor, wrapping his arms around her even tighter, as if melding them together. His lips were as soft as she remembered, his tongue just as sinful and velvet.

“Kriff, I missed you,” he let out between kisses.

Rey could only nod. He smelled so good– she hadn’t realized that she missed the way he smelled. And his body felt amazing, so warm and alive next to her. She pressed a kiss into his neck, not even remotely minding that other people could see them. She felt his breath hitch in his throat against her lips, his fingertips digging into her lower back.

Rey could faintly hear a whistle come from somewhere behind her, but she didn’t care. And apparently, neither did Ben, because he nuzzled her temple and let her suck on the tender skin of his neck.

“Shit, Ben, I don’t wanna see that!” Han suddenly exclaimed from the Falcon’s gangway. 

It was enough for Rey to abandon her mission and bury her face in Ben’s chest, laughing. She felt a spark of annoyance flash through his Force signature, and laughed even harder.

“Come on,” he said, his voice deep and gravelly.

He grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the hangar bay. She had to run to keep up with his long strides, her pulse fluttering in her palm that laid across his. As soon as they rounded the corner out of the transport bay, Ben opened a door on the left, a storage closet. He pushed Rey inside before following and closing the door. Then, he used the Force to levitate several heavy crates to block the door.

“Show off,” she teased.

“Shut up,” he said, rounding on her again. His eyes were wild-looking, he looked like he wanted to hunt her, maybe eat her. 

He strode over to her to kiss her again, this time with no sense of gentleness. His mouth was urgent, his lips plundering her own and his tongue eager to meet hers. Rey noticed a moan come from somewhere, maybe even her own throat. She clawed at Ben’s shoulders until he reached behind her thighs to lift her up, wrapping her legs around his waist. There was a slick heat building in her core. She wasn’t prepared for the kind of physical reaction she was having to him being back in her arms.

“Thought about you every day,” he said throatily after peeling his lips from hers. “I don’t know if I could do that again.”

“Wh-what?” she stuttered.

“I don’t know if I could be apart from you like that again,” he clarified, leaning his forehead against hers. 

There was a pause, and Rey could feel Ben’s trepidation in the Force, that she might not have felt the same way.

“Ben,” she whispered. “I don’t want you to leave. I want to be with you.”

She felt his relieved exhale, a thick tremor in his chest. He pressed kisses on her cheeks, her nose. Rey let herself bathe in the affection, in the bright light that bound their auras together, becoming one in the Force. She squeezed her legs around him, rocking against him. Her own fingers at her core were no longer enough for her, couldn’t bring her the satisfaction that simply being near Ben could bring. She felt his lips curse on her cheek, and he walked over to a wall, pushing her back into it. He kissed her again, lips hot and hands clutching her thighs tightly.

Feeling bold, Rey pulled back, putting space between them again. Before she could hesitate, she reached down and pulled her shirt off, throwing it to the side. She saw Ben think for a moment before allowing himself to look down. She watched him gnash his teeth as he took in her torso, her bra-covered chest. There was a dark purple scar carved into the left side of her, but he didn’t seem to be bothered by it. 

“Beautiful,” he said, his voice hoarse and strained. “It’s been so hard to resist you.”

“Then don’t,” she whined, returning her hands to his hair, pulling at it lightly. “Don’t resist.”

“I was trying to be a gentleman,” he protested, looking altogether disheveled and uneasy.

“I don’t want you to be a gentleman,” she countered, looking deeply into his eyes. “I want you to make me come.”

Ben looked as shocked by her audaciousness as she felt. Rey got the feeling once more that Ben was a bit reserved when it came to sex. She thought it was adorable. He blinked a few times, as if his brain was struggling to keep up.

“I can do that,” he whispered eventually. “I can do that.”

He whipped his head around, looking for something. After spotting a large crate, he carried her over to it, sitting her down and kissing her once more. Rey took the opportunity to grab at his own shirt, pulling at it until he understood that she wanted it off. She marveled at his large chest when he finally stripped it off, wide expanses of pale skin and beefy muscles. It was enough to make her mouth water. Unencumbered by any remaining shyness, she took action, kissing just beneath his collarbone, running her hands along his abs, enjoying the way they tensed under her fingertips.

“Fuck,” Ben lamented, holding her face in his hands. “You’re so fucking sexy.”

“You’re not so bad yourself,” she teased, running her fingers over his nipples, enjoying the way they hardened.

“Can I…?” he began to ask, nodding his head down toward her chest. He seemed too flustered to even complete full sentences.

Amused by his demureness, Rey just leaned back, holding herself by her hands behind her, sticking her chest out.

“Be my guest,” she said, using her foot to caress the back of his leg as she did so.

His hands hesitantly made their way to the straps of her bra. She wanted to kiss his shaking hands. Although she was the virgin, Ben was the timid one. The bra she was wearing was rather sporty, utilitarian even, far less sexy than the ones she saw on Chandrila when Rose took her shopping. But again, Ben didn’t seem to mind. He was still looking at her chest like it was some great treasure.

He gently pulled the straps away, laying kisses on the skin he exposed on her shoulder and neck. His fingers trailed along the edges, leaving chills in their wake. Rey was lost in the feeling of his lips against sensitive skin that she almost missed when he began to pull the bra upward. She lifted her arms, letting him remove it from her, freeing her breasts. She was once scared of baring herself like this to anyone, embarrassed by the skinny shape of her body, especially compared to some of the women on base. But she wasn’t scared anymore, just excited. Excited to share herself with Ben, to expose herself. She knew he wouldn’t laugh, or judge her. He would just love her. She could feel that with every fiber of the Force. After staring at her chest for a moment, his hands returned to her waist, working their way up to cup her breasts ever so gently. Rey felt her nipples go hard, and he hadn’t even touched them yet. When his thumbs finally grazed them, Rey felt the chilling sensation take a path straight to the bottom of her stomach, all the way to her sex.

“ _Ah_ ,” she let out.

“Sensitive?” Ben asked coyly, smiling at her.

She could only nod.

“You _make_ me sensitive,” she told him gruffly.

He seemed to like that, leaning in to kiss her silly. Their hands wandered on warm skin, touching everywhere they could. Their breathing became labored as they were disinclined to part from each other's lips. Ben began to kiss down her neck, then in between her breasts. Rey’s jaw locked up with arousal and tension as his tongue traced the contours of her chest. She couldn’t hold back the whimpers and hums that erupted from her mouth, nor the way her fingers yanked at his hair as his mouth played with her nipples.

“I need you to tell me what you want, Rey,” he said, her name sounding like a sin on his lips.

“I want… I want– _ah_ ,” she choked out as he sucked her nipple into his mouth, pulling on it.

“What was that?” he asked smugly, nuzzling her chest.

“I want you to touch me,” she answered, grabbing at his hand and bringing it to the waistband of her pants, just above her crotch. She was never more thankful for a drawstring, so easy for him to loosen and push his hand into her trousers, against her panties. She felt his knuckles trace her sex through her underwear, which she was sure must be getting damp by now.

“You want me to touch you, make you come?” he asked, standing up straight to look into her eyes. The fire dancing in his eyes made her melt.

“Yes,” she whispered, her lips a mere inch from his. “Please…”

His fingers trailed lazily against her core through the cotton of her panties for another few moments, driving Rey mad with desire and impatience.

“Please, Ben,” she repeated, breathing hard against his mouth. 

“As you wish,” he said deeply, finally pulling at the elastic around her hips to dip his hand underneath, his fingers making contact with the pulsing, sensitive lips of her sex. 

She gasped as he stroked her, coming so close to her clit, but never touching it directly. She whined, a high-pitched, desperate sound, which only made Ben smile.

“You know I could never deny you anything,” he told her. “Especially when you’re getting so wet for me.”

Rey could feel his excitement in the Force, how proud he was to elicit this type of reaction from her. She wanted nothing more than to assure him of his effect on her, that he deserved her love.

“I’ve been dreaming about this,” she said. “About you.”

He leaned in to mouth at her neck, and his thumb finally made its way toward the apex, toward her clit. He circled around it before pressing into it, sending delicious shivers down her spine. She wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him tightly, breathing him in. He continued to work there for a while, tracing patterns around the sensitive nub, and after a while Rey found herself grinding against his hand and closing her eyes, lost in the stimulation.

“In–inside?” she asked, anxious to feel his thick fingers split her open.

She felt him nod, and his other fingers return to stroking her lips. He started with one, one long digit pressing into her, taking its time to work her apart.

“Mmmmmm,” he hummed. “So wet. So hot. So perfect.”

Rey keened at the praise, wanting so badly to be good for him.

He made his way inside, slowly moving in and out of her, simulating what she wanted his cock to do. As he stroked the walls inside her, she let out a loud moan, head falling back. She was far more sensitive to his touch than to her own. She couldn’t predict which tender spot he would caress next, and she became lost in his ministrations. When he went to push in another finger, she widened her legs even more, welcoming him. She pulled her head back down to kiss him, to imitate with her tongue what he was doing with his fingers. His thumb on her clit became clumsy, but the erratic movement was that much more invigorating. The way she split around two of his fingers felt so good, so right. He was brushing against something toward the front of her now, a spot she had only found once or twice, and couldn’t reach herself. 

“Fuck,” she cursed. “Right there, Ben.”

“Right here?” he asked smugly, rubbing again at the raw spot inside of her, setting the nerves on fire.

She nodded, shutting him up with another kiss. She continued to rock against his hand, desperately needing the pressure. Focused on the spot inside, he now just pressed his palm into her clit, letting her grind against it. Rey had never felt like this, like she could utterly explode at any moment. 

“So good,” she crooned, taking a break from his lips to catch her breath.

“You’re taking me so well,” Ben replied, his Force signature throbbing with arousal, and approval. She didn’t have to look into his mind to know he was imagining how well she would take his manhood when the time came. The idea of it alone made her tremble, his touch inside of her getting stronger. 

“Need to come,” she said hoarsely.

Ben nodded, quickening his fingers and kissing at her face, her ears, and biting down on her earlobe. The various sensations fed the flames within her, and she felt like she was vibrating with energy. She couldn’t even keep her eyes open, so overwhelmed with the prickling currents buzzing through her body.

“Do it,” he murmured into her ear. “Come for me, Rey.”

Something inside of her snapped. Everything was still for a moment, before the galaxy shattered around her. She heard her own voice yell out, and felt her limbs spasm, but couldn’t see anything past the fireworks in her mind. It was all of the colors of the Force flashing at once, and an outrageous burst of pleasure. It echoed and echoed in her head, slowly fading, slowly calming. She tried to breathe, to come back to reality. She felt her bones give way, her body slump against Ben. He held her through it, and she felt safe in his embrace, and wanted. Vaguely, she noticed his fingers slip out of her, and his arm wrap around her. She felt gentle kisses pressed into her temple as she returned to their present, warm and sated.

“Rey,” she heard Ben whisper. “So good. Fuck. Knew you could do it.”

He sounded almost as overcome as she felt. She sighed heavily into his shoulder, only barely finding the strength to return his hug. She leaned back to kiss him again, lazy and sloppy in her post-orgasmic glow. He seemed to like it anyway, cupping her jaw and letting her kiss him.

“That was– thank you…” she muttered eventually when her voice returned.

The wide smile on his face was almost as delightful as her climax. He looked so much younger when he smiled.

“Anytime,” he responded.

She laughed with him, grinning and rubbing his shoulders affectionately.

“What about you?” she asked when she gained more sentience. She wanted to make him feel as good as he had made her feel.

Ben looked at her intensely, his smile fading as she saw his Adam’s apple bob in his throat. The desire in his aura was palpable, she could practically taste in on her tongue.

The loud and sudden slam of the door against one of the crates blocking it made them both jump. Ben pulled away from her quickly, his eyes wild. Rey found the sense to tighten the drawstring on her pants and climb down from the ledge she was sitting on.

“Is someone in there?” a voice asked through the doorway.

“Uh, yeah,” Ben answered, looking around. He nodded toward a shelf full of spare engine parts, and Rey quickly went over and attempted to look busy with them. 

Ben levitated the crates away from the door, and Jess walked in, carrying what looked like a small box of tools. She looked between Ben and Rey with confusion, and Rey prayed she couldn’t tell what they had been doing.

“Just reorganizing,” Ben said awkwardly, using the Force to move another crate, as if he knew what he was doing.

“Right…” Jess said, her voice laden with apprehension. “Where do you want this, then?”

She held out the box.

“Uh…” Ben stuttered. “I’ll take it, I think we’re putting the tools… over there,” he pointed to a random corner.

“Ok…,” Jess said slowly. Rey turned back to the shelf in front of her, doing her best to keep herself from laughing at Ben’s piss-poor attempt to lie.

“The General is looking for you by the way,” Jess said to him. “It’s been over the intercom, but I guess you can’t hear that in here.”

“Oh, uh, no… we haven’t, I mean… I didn’t hear it,” Ben said. “Thanks. I’ll go see her.”

“Sure thing,” Jess said, finally leaving them in the closet.

Rey waited to hear her footsteps get far away before turning around.

“Nice one,” she teased him. “‘ _Just reorganizing_.”

Ben rolled his eyes.

“I didn’t see you helping!”

“I thought you’d be more convincing than that!”

“You think she knew I was lying?” 

Rey laughed.

“A womp rat would know you were lying,” she replied. “I hate to break it to you, but you’re a terrible liar.”

“No I’m not!” Ben protested. “I lie all the time on missions! It's sort of my job.”

“At least around me you’re not good at it,” she said.

“Well I don’t like lying to you,” he argued. “Or around you.”

“That’s good to hear, I guess,” Rey smiled, walking over to place his hands on his chest. “Although you’re going to need to get better at it if we’re going to make a habit of fooling around in storage closets.”

He chuckled, looking amused.

“I was hoping we could do this in a bed next time,” he admitted.

“Mmm, that would be nice,” she replied, tilting her chin up for a kiss.

He pecked at her lips gently and sweetly.

“We better get out of here,” he said. “Before we get caught again.”

“Agreed.”


	18. The Meeting

Rey was nearly sweating with the amount of effort she had to put into the simple game of catch. Ben used whatever free time they could find to train her in the Force. Today they were tossing a ball back and forth‒ Ben with his hands, Rey with her mind. He lazed in the chair in the room while she stood upright, using her full body to concentrate.

“I can see in your mind that you’re feeling for the shape of the ball,” he said, throwing it to her left as she focused on suspending it in the air. “That’s good. But make sure you’re not just relying on its physical presence, but with its presence in the Force. Weight is meaningless. Size is meaningless. It could be a boulder, and you could still do it. Try to feel its energy.”

She exhaled as she guided the ball back to Ben’s hands, using the tendrils of Force that connected her to it. It was difficult to imagine that she would be able to do the same thing with a boulder, a ball was hard enough. It didn’t help that Ben spoke so abstractly. She wondered if all Jedi did that.

“Is this how your uncle taught you?” she asked, waiting for him to throw it towards her again.

“More or less,” he said, tossing it in a high arc. She had more trouble with things coming down than straight toward her, so he was pushing her on it. “Honestly, it was mostly meditation. The Jedi are obsessed with it.”

Rey made sure to push up at the ball as it fell toward the ground, barely managing to catch it with the Force before it hit the ground in front of her. She scowled at Ben’s cocked eyebrow. She threw it back with her mind as hard as she could, his expression falling as he had to scramble to catch it.

“Don’t make fun of me,” she said fiercely. “I’m doing my best.”

Rey didn’t like failing at anything. On Jakku, failure often meant going hungry, or worse.

“I’m sorry,” he said, bowing his head. “It’s just… you’re so good at this that it surprises me when something gives you trouble.”

Rey rolled her eyes.

“Ok, now you’re just trying to stroke my ego.”

“No!” he exclaimed. “I’m serious… it took me a whole year of training with Luke to be able to do what you’ve done in a few weeks. Plus it’s harder to learn things as an adult.”

Rey was surprised by that. She knew that the Force was natural in the Skywalker family. She had sort of just assumed that it had been easier for Ben than it was for her to learn control over it.

“Really?” she asked.

Ben nodded, and Rey noted sincerity streaming off his aura, and honest purple.

“I have no doubt you’ll far surpass anything I’m capable of.”

She blinked a few times, trying to process his words.

“But I don’t need to surpass you,” she said.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… weren’t the Jedi… warriors?”

“Well,” Ben answered, looking confused, “yeah.”

Rey shook her head.

“I don’t need to be a warrior,” she said defiantly. “I want to help the Resistance and keep people safe, but I just want to be happy.”

Ben looked at her for a moment, studying her. Slowly, a smile broke out on his face, a smile that permeated light into their Force bond.

“And now you understand why I didn’t become a Jedi,” he said simply.

It finally made sense to her now. Ben didn’t hate his abilities. He didn’t hate training with his Uncle. He wasn’t mad that he was born a Skywalker, gifted with the Force. No. He didn’t stray from the Jedi path because he didn’t like it, or appreciate it. He just chose something he wanted more. He just wanted to be himself, just Ben.

Rey walked over to him, standing in front of him to place her hands on his shoulders. He brought his own hands up to her thighs, looking up at her.

“I’m glad you didn’t,” she murmured, rubbing his shoulders. “Because then we wouldn’t be together.”

Ben turned his head to kiss her wrist. His deep brown eyes were so soulful, so full of rich emotion.

“I have a feeling we would have found each other anyway,” he said lowly. “In any timeline, in any reality.”

Rey closed her eyes, imagining their paths crossing in different versions of the galaxy, letting Ben into her mind to feel her wonder. There was a truth to it– that they were meant to meet, meant to come together. They were some sort of dyad in the Force.

She turned to the side to sit in Ben’s lap, letting him wrap his arms around her and place his lips at her temple. They sat there for a while, letting their bond thrum and shine with the idea that they were two halves of a whole.

“I wish we could just… run away,” he said eventually, softly.

“Hmm?”

“If we weren’t at war,” he clarified, “we could just… live our lives somewhere together, alone.”

Rey had never imagined not being with the Resistance. It was her first and only experience of a life other than her years on Jakku. It was hard for her to imagine what ‘normal’ might look like.

“What would we do?” she asked, playing with the fabric of his shirt sleeve.

“We could go wherever we wanted,” he answered. “I’m sure we could spend a lot of time travelling, so that you could see the whole galaxy.”

“That sounds wonderful,” she mused. “But… exhausting.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “We could settle somewhere. Somewhere green.”

“What about a job?”

“Well,” he replied, the deep vibrations in his chest comforting, “to be honest… my family has enough wealth that we wouldn’t have to work.”

“That sounds… boring,” she said honestly. She also couldn’t really imagine that type of wealth and luxury.

He chuckled, his chest rising and falling against her.

“It does. I just want to give you everything you want, and if you never wanted to work again, you’d deserve it after everything you’ve been through.”

The sentiment made her eyes sting with the threat of tears, but she blinked them away.

“I’m really only good at fixing things,” she confessed. “I haven’t read a lot, or know about politics, like you.”

“You’re good at lots of things. And fixing things is a great career,” he responded. “You could find work anywhere.”

“What about you?” she asked, nuzzling her cheek into his chest.

“Hmm… I haven’t really thought about it. I like working with people, but maybe not as many people as my mom does.”

Rey giggled. She could picture Ben trying to talk to a large mass of people, stuttering and tripping over his words. He was better in small groups.

“I’ve always enjoyed the trading my dad and I do,” he continued. “I could always haul freight. Preferably legally, I don’t need the kind of excitement that my dad craves.”

She laughed again, recalling Han’s crazy stories of his smuggling years.

“Legal would be nice,” she enthused.

“I’ve also… well… I like to write.”

This surprised Rey. She leaned back to look at him.

“You do?”

“Yeah,” he said, a recognizable blush rising to his cheeks. “I mean… I’m not very good.”

“What do you write?” she asked.

“A few things,” he answered, looking away. “Some stories, a little bit of poetry. Nothing very long.”

“Can I read it?”

“What? No!”

“Ben!”

“I…” he mumbled. “It’s not very good.”

“I don’t care!” Rey exclaimed. “I’ll love it anyway. Please, please, please, please–”

“Ok! Ok! Fine!”

“Thank you,” she said sweetly, batting her eyelashes at him.

“You’re the worst,” he grumbled, leaning in for a kiss.

“Yes, I am,” she teased, pecking his lips before reaching up to run her thumb over them. “I’m sure it’s a thousand times better than anything I could do. I had to teach myself how to read and write, I don’t think I could ever write something creative like that.”

“Don’t sell yourself short,” Ben said, smiling at her. “You’re somehow good at everything you try, I’m sure writing would be the same.”

“I don’t need to write,” she answered, hopping off of his lap, “when I can just read your stuff!”

Ben groaned.

“You’re not going to let it go, are you?”

“No chance,” she said. “Now come on, it’s time for dinner.”

“Force forbid you’re even 30 seconds late for mealtime,” he lamented, pulling himself out of the chair.

Rey stuck her tongue out at him, but grabbed his hand anyway to lead them out of the room.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rey made her way nervously to the end of the hallway toward the General’s office. She’d been summoned to meet with her first thing in the morning, and she was terrified that the General might be letting her go. The Resistance had saved her, became her home. She was working so hard to do her part, to earn her keep, but what if she wasn’t good enough? What if they were kicking her out? Where would she go? She had no way off of Devaron. She only had a few credits that she’d been able to save from her 3 months’ worth of stipends. Sure, it was more money than she had ever imagined owning, but not enough to be secure, especially in the Colonies. She’d need to find another job quickly, and find a way to make do. She was good at that, at least– surviving.

She wrung her hands together, taking a deep breath before knocking on the office door. A few seconds later, it slid open, revealing the short General.

“Hi Rey!” she greeted her with a smile.

Rey was confused by her friendly demeanor, perhaps she was trying to soften the blow of firing her. The General looked as beautiful as ever, Rey didn’t know how she always looked so polished. Today she was in deep heather robes that fell to the ground, and yet another braided updo that sat perfectly on her head.

“Thanks for coming,” she continued. “Please have a seat. Would you like some tea?”

Rey obeyed, taking the chair opposite from the one Leia was making herself comfortable in, and looked over at the tea set on her left.

“Uh, yes. Yes, please.”

The General poured them both cups and passed one over to her. Rey let herself inhale the floral aroma of it before taking a sip. It was better than what they served in the cafeteria. Light and delicate and delicious.

“I wanted to check in with you to see how things are going,” the General began.

The sweet taste of the tea became bitter in Rey’s mouth as she remembered that she was most likely about to be kicked out of the Resistance.

“It’s great,” she stuttered. “I mean… good! I love working here!”

Leia looked at her curiously, raising an eyebrow in a fashion that was uncannily similar to the way Ben did it. Rey could see where he got it from.

“That’s… good,” she replied. “You’re getting everything you need?”

“Yes!” Rey answered automatically.

“Enough clothes? Enough food?” the General elaborated.

“Yes, absolutely!”

The General paused again, and took a moment to set her tea down on the side table.

“Rey, this isn’t a test,” she said carefully. “I genuinely want to know if you’re comfortable. I ask everyone the same questions. I can’t expect people to fight for the Resistance if they’re not properly cared for.”

The General was looking at her intently, and seriously. She seemed honest, a sturdy wood-hue coloring her Force signature.

“I… ok,” Rey corrected herself. “I’m sorry. But yes, I’m very comfortable. Really.”

Leia looked at her a moment before nodding, seeming convinced by her answer. She picked up her tea again.

“And your work? How is that going? I know that big CSS-1 we got in was in rough shape,” she said with a consoling smile.

Rey was starting to realize that it didn’t sound like the General was preparing to fire her.

“It… yes. It still needs quite a bit of work, but I’ve got the engine and the hyperdrive pretty much up and running.”

“Wow,” Leia said, raising her eyebrows. “Already? I’m impressed.”

Rey just shrugged.

“Now, Rey, I called you here for another reason too,” the General added.

Rey’s heart sunk into her stomach. Maybe she was getting kicked out after all.

“What do you see for yourself in your future?”

Rey cocked her head, confused by the question.

“What?”

“What do you want to do?”

“You mean in the Resistance?”

“Sure,” Leia acquiesced. “We can start there. Is there anything else you envision yourself doing?”

Rey thought back to the discussion she had with Ben.

“I’m really only good at fixing things,” she said again.

The General shook her head.

“Now we both know that’s not true,” she said. “From what I hear you’re an excellent pilot. And even I can tell you’re strong with the Force.”

Rey gaped at her. She knew from Ben that his mother was a little Force-sensitive, but she hadn’t had a chance to discuss it with her.

“You can?”

“Honey, I’m a Skywalker,” she replied smugly. “It’s a blessing and a curse.”

Rey cracked a small grin, appreciating the General’s sense of humor. Another thing Ben got from her.

“So if you weren’t a mechanic, what would you want to do?” she pressed.

Rey thought about it. She hadn’t really ever had the chance to do anything else. She’d always worked with her hands.

“I suppose I would like to fly,” she answered. “I’m not sure.”

Leia nodded.

“Go on,” she encouraged her. “What else do you like to do?”

“I liked going to Chandrila,” she answered honestly, thinking back to their trip. “One day I’d like to travel more, talk to more people.”

She didn’t notice the grin growing on Leia’s face.

“And I like training in the Force with Ben,” she continued. The General certainly knew about her relationship with him, so there was no reason to keep any secrets from her. “I feel like I know myself better now. Like I finally understand what’s going on in my mind.”

“You sound like my brother,” Leia replied with a chuckle. “He’s _very_ into self-reflection and meditation.”

“So I’ve heard,” Rey said, laughing with the General.

“It sounds like there’s quite a few things you’d like to try out, perhaps,” Leia suggested.

“Yes, I suppose,” Rey agreed, not knowing where the General was going with it.

“How would you feel about broadening your horizons?” she asked.

There was a bolt of excitement in her chest, which she did her best to squash. 

“What do you mean?” she asked cautiously.

“I mean,” Leia continued, “would you like to try some of those things? Travel? Fly?”

Rey gaped at her, completely baffled by the turn in conversation. She walked in thinking she was being fired.

“What?”

“Would you like to fly, do some travelling?”

“You mean… for the Resistance?”

“Yes,” the General answered with a patiently smug grin. “For the Resistance.”

“Are you… are you serious?” Rey sputtered out. The General was offering her the chance to travel? After her trip to Chandrila, she had accepted the fact that she would only ever get to do so once in a blue moon on leave, if the timing worked out and she could afford it, or if Ben could take her.

“Very serious,” Leia said. “I… think I need to be honest with you, Rey.”

“Ok…,” Rey said, her mind already racing with exciting possibilities. She tried to calm herself when she saw the General’s sober expression.

“I need Han to retire,” she said simply, looking down into her teacup. “He’s a bit older than me, you know. And going off on missions, it's dangerous. He’s not as spry as he used to be. Every time he leaves… I worry that he won’t come back, that he won’t be able to keep up. And I’d like to enjoy the last few years of our lives together… we’ve spent too much time apart. But he feels like he’ll be letting down the Resistance if he stops.”

Rey drank in the General’s words. She had never been so candid or personal with her before. And she sounded wistful, almost sad. She had to agree, she saw the way Han would shuffle down the gangway of the Falcon. He wasn’t exactly in prime fighting shape.

“And so, he needs a replacement that he thinks is worthy,” Leia concluded, looking up from her tea to gaze in her direction. “Ben needs a partner.”

Rey slowly caught on to the General’s implications. Her throat went dry, her voice froggy when she asked.

“M‒ me?” she squeaked out.

Leia smiled again.

“Yes, you,” she said. “It makes sense. You’re an incredible mechanic and pilot, so you could probably get out of any tough situation. You’re young, athletic, healthy. I know about how well you fight with your staff. And, most importantly, you have a connection to the Force.”

Rey struggled to take in all of the General’s praise, but the last one took her by surprise.

“The Force?”

“I don’t think you realize just how rare Force-users are, Rey,” the General explained. “Although you’re certainly appreciated as a mechanic here, there’s so much more you can do. What you and Ben have is special, believe me.”

“How can the Force help?” Rey asked.

“Oh, any number of ways,” Leia answered. “Back in the days of the Republic, the Jedi were peacekeepers, and soldiers. It was the combination of their prowess in battle, their penchant for patient decision making, and their ability to see past facades and to the core truth that made them invaluable.”

“Wow,” Rey mused. She needed to read more about the history of the Jedi, it seems.

“Again, I’m going to be honest,” Leia proceeded, running her thumb up and down the handle of the tea cup. “We need to push forward if we ever want this war to end. We need to get inside the First Order if we want to make real progress toward ending them.”

“And you want… me and Ben to do that?” Rey asked warily. It sounded daunting.

“Not just you, Rey,” she answered. “This attempt will be on all fronts. But it wouldn’t hurt to have two Force-users on our side, two Force-users that have a strong bond.”

Rey thought about the synchrony she felt with Ben when they opened up their bond and let each other in. It _felt_ untouchable, sturdy and resilient. She could see how it could be useful.

“But let’s not rush into that right away,” Leia continued, setting down her tea cup to lean forward and place her forearms on her thighs, inclined toward Rey. “I guess my first question is this‒ how would you feel about joining Ben and Han on their next trip, to see what it’s about? I’m sending them for some reconnaissance on Kuat. It should be a fairly short and straight forward mission.”

Rey leaned back in her chair, a bit overwhelmed by all of the new information and the offer the General was making. There was so much to process.

“So I would go with them, as like… a test?”

“Essentially,” the General answered. “Not a test of _you_... more of a test to see if it’s a good fit for you, if working with Ben is something you want. I’m not going to force you to do this, Rey. This is going beyond what you signed up for when you joined, and I wouldn’t blame you if you refused.”

“I… no… I don’t want to refuse.”

Rey was feeling a great many things‒ excited, nervous, eager… but she didn’t feel hesitant, not even a little. There was no doubt in her mind that she wanted to try, to try going out with Ben and Han on a mission. She had to remind herself that it was serious business, but she couldn’t help but be thrilled at the opportunity to get off base and work with two men that she admired greatly.

“Are you sure?” the General asked. “Although this is a pretty low-risk assignment, there is always _some_ risk. I know you’ve been in combat before, but I need to warn you anyway. Han and Ben will have a lot to teach you.”

“I understand,” Rey said. “But I’d like to go. I’ll never know if it’s right for me unless I try it.”

Leia smiled again, reaching forward to grab Rey’s hand. 

“I thought you might want to go,” she said. “And I’m sure Ben won’t complain either.”

Rey laughed, agreeing.

“Did he… ask for this?”

“No, this I thought up myself,” the General said, looking pleased with herself. “Of course, we’ve talked about the possibility for you two to spend more time together going forward. Ben has always been fine with leaving for weeks or even months at a time. But it’s different when you’re newly in love.”

Rey’s smile dropped, the air suddenly rushing out of her lungs. She hadn’t even thought about… love. From what she’d learned from holos and people on base, ‘love’ was a strong, meaningful word. Telling someone you loved them was a big deal. She had never said it to Ben, and he had never said it to her. 

“Oh, honey,” Leia said, frowning. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I thought that you had to know that he loved you. Has he not told you?”

Rey shook her head, feeling numb. Ben loved her? It did… make sense. She certainly loved him, didn’t she? They were two halves of a whole. There was never a moment when she didn’t love him. They cared for one another, comforted each other, cherished each other.

She let out a huge exhale, nearly laughing. It was true. They loved each other. And _that_ was wonderful.

“Ben’s going to get a stern talking to,” Leia added. “If he hasn’t told you yet.”

“No, it’s alright,” Rey said, looking at the floor. “We just haven’t said it out loud. But when we’re… when we use the Force, I can feel it. When we’re connected, it’s like we match perfectly. I don’t think it needs words.”

Rey looked up, surprised to find a tear rolling down the General’s cheek.

“I’m glad,” she said fondly. “I only ever hoped that Ben would find someone to be happy with. I never even imagined he would find someone that could share such a deep connection with him.”

Now Rey was the one that couldn’t keep a tear from escaping. It trailed wetly down her face, and dropped onto their joined hands.

“This is unreal,” she admitted. “Three months ago, I didn’t think I would ever even leave Jakku.”

“I know, honey,” the General consoled her, squeezing her hands. “We’re so glad you’re with us now. You’re family, now.”

_That_ made Rey cry even harder. She hated crying, it was a sign of weakness. But this kind, tenacious woman telling her that she could be her family? That was beautiful, and devastating, and everything Rey had ever wanted.

Leia pulled her into a hug, letting her cry into her shoulder. Rey was concerned that she would mess up her robe or her hairdo, but the General didn’t seem worried, patting her back and holding her tightly.

“Thank you,” Rey choked out, disappointed in the lack of words she could use to express how she felt.

“You know, Han and I love you too,” she replied, making Rey sob hysterically.

It took nearly an hour before Rey felt calm enough to leave the General’s office. They finished their cold tea while Leia lent Rey a warm washcloth to wash her face.

“I’m so sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to take you away from work.”

“Oh, hush,” Leia said. “We both needed this. Plus, this _was_ work! You’re going to try out working with Ben, and that’s great news for me.”

Rey smiled. She was so appreciative of Leia’s candor.

“Anytime,” she replied.

“Now go,” Leia said, with a grin. “I think you have some good news for Ben.”

Rey nearly sprinted out of her office. She had no idea where Ben was, but she was going to find him, and fast.


	19. The Barracks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all,
> 
> I am so, so sorry about the extended hiatus I took from this fic. I work in healthcare... and to be honest I've been pretty traumatized by everything, which escalated my depression. I didn't have the mental energy to edit and post this fic for a while. However, I am feeling a lot better now, and ready and excited to wrap up this fic.
> 
> I know this chapter has been a long time coming! I still feel like I'm not very good at writing smut but... whatever!
> 
> I hope you all are safe and well. Please continue to treat this pandemic seriously. Mortality rates are still tragically high. 
> 
> Much love,  
> Tasu  
> **************

Rey’s feet pounded the floor of the base’s many hallways as she ran toward Ben’s room. A lot had happened in her meeting with the General, but there was only one thing on her mind as she raced down the corridor of the barracks– something important that she needed to tell Ben. He usually was in his room working on his datapad this time of day, and she could sense the faint glow of his presence in the Force as she rounded the corner of his hallway.

She saw the door to Ben’s room open before she even reached it.

“Rey?” Ben asked, stepping out in his socks. He looked concerned. “What’s wrong?”

“How did you know I was here?” Rey panted out as she approached him.

“I could feel you coming,” he answered. “Your Force signature is churning like crazy, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing!” she laughed, pushing him back into his room and shutting the door behind them. “I have something to tell you.”

Ben looked at her with confusion as Rey caught her breath. She didn’t want to share her profound new realization with him while huffing and puffing. She probably looked like a mess after half an hour of crying in Leia’s office. Meanwhile, he looked like a model– hair silky, a black knit shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, tall and muscular and beautiful.

“You’re scaring me,” he said, interrupting her appreciation of his attractiveness. “What is it?”

He looked so worried with his soft, earnest eyes that she just had to spit it out.

“I love you!” she exclaimed, with a large exhale.

Ben looked at her blankly for a while. Rey had hoped he would be a little more… well… responsive. She thought that telling someone you loved them was a big deal. She held her hands out, waving them a little, as if to emphasize her point.

After searching her face for a moment, Ben burst into laughter. Rey flinched, surprised by his reaction. He hid his face behind a hand, looking away as he laughed. Rey’s heart sunk like a stone.

“Why are you laughing?” she asked, hurt by his reaction. Was it so ridiculous for her to love him? She thought that he… felt it too. In fact, she was certain of it, which made the moment even more confusing.

“That’s what you sprinted here to tell me?” he asked, smiling up at the ceiling, hands on his hips. “Kriff, Rey, you scared the fuck out of me. I thought we were under attack or something.”

Ben finally looked down to her, and seemed to be caught off guard by the injured look on her face. His smile vanished in a microsecond.

“Oh, _shit_ ,” he cursed, suddenly serious. He stepped toward her and took her hands in his, looking at her carefully. Rey knew that her disappointed emotions must have been written plainly on her features. He seemed to work out why she was upset, so he reassured her. “Rey… I... I _know_.”

“You know?” she asked, her voice breaking with distress and confusion. She hadn’t known until a few minutes ago in Leia’s office. How did _he_ know?

Ben held her hands up to his heart, smoothing them over his chest. She felt him pull on the threads of their Force bond, inviting her in. She stepped into it unthinkingly, as it was second nature to her now. Bright, warming bursts of energy pulsed into her, and the familiar embrace of his Force signature comforted her.

“I can feel it, Rey,” he answered quietly. “Whenever we’re together… you can feel it too, right? You can feel… how much I love you?’

Rey gasped as the connection between them swirled in radiant color, nearly blinding her with light within her mind’s eye. She had seen it before, but didn’t know what it truly meant. She had never been loved before, had never loved someone. She had always thought that she would know as soon as it happened, that she’d receive some sort of clear signal. But this had come on gradually, it snuck up on her when she wasn’t paying attention. She’d felt this way for Ben longer than she had known. And apparently, so had he.

“You… you love me?” she asked to be sure, her voice cracking with emotion.

Ben chuckled, clutching her hands tightly where they were placed over his heart.

“Of course I do,” he replied. “I’ve loved you... I think since I met you.”

Rey closed her eyes and let herself bathe in their bond, letting it warm her from the inside out. It wrapped its tendrils around her ever so delicately, holding her comfortingly. It was so clear now, what was sown between them. She just hadn’t known to call it ‘love’.

It made a giggle erupt from her chest. She laughed at the absurdity of it all, that she hadn’t even been aware of how much they loved each other. She felt rather stupid. She opened her eyes to see Ben smiling at her sweetly, patiently.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, looking remorseful. “I thought you knew. I should have said something. I… was nervous, I guess, to say it out loud.”

“It’s alright,” she said, rubbing his chest with her hands. “You can say it now.”

Ben’s eyes twinkled, bright and vibrant and full of affection.

“I love you, Rey,” he said tenderly.

It should have felt dangerous, how his words made her heart soar. But the easy way they fell from his plush lips was affirmational. Rey wasn’t fearful anymore, not when she could feel his sincerity through their bond. He was invested as she was, just as tangled up.

“I love you, Ben,” she repeated, leaning forward for a kiss.

He responded eagerly, pulling her into his arms and kissing her assiduously. She gladly slid her tongue against his own and happily held his face in her hands. She smiled into each kiss, losing herself in the Force bond dancing between them. Without parting her lips from his, she walked him backward until he sat on his bed and kicked her boots off. She crawled into his lap to straddle him, weaving her hands into his hair.

“You’re everything to me,” Ben murmured, pulling her as close to his chest as he could, so their heartbeats would sync.

“Oh!” Rey exclaimed suddenly, pulling her lips from his to sit back on his knees to look him in the eye. “I forgot to tell you– the General is sending me with you and Han on your next mission. She wants Han to retire and me to be your new partner.”

Ben’s eyes widened, astonished and adorably large as he took in her words.

“What?” he asked in a harsh whisper. “Are you serious?”

Rey nodded, running her thumbs along his jaw. The smile that grew on his face was so bright it could have powered the whole base.

“We’ll talk about it later,” she said impatiently, leaning in to kiss him again. 

“That’s– _mmph_ ,” he was cut off as their lips collided.

Rey rocked her body against his, fully enjoying being held in his arms and feeling the way his hands eagerly grasped at her hips, her thighs, wherever he could reach. It made fire work its way through her veins, settling in her sex.

“I love you,” she told him again, pushing her hips forward until her core settled onto his crotch, pushing on the hardness growing in his pants.

“Love you,” he muttered, gripping her thighs a little harder, pulling her down onto him. She could already feel herself getting wet.

“Don’t make me wait, Ben,” she whispered, burying her face into her neck as she continued to rock against his erection. Her need and desire for him always felt strong, but it was undeniably overwhelming now. Coming on his fingers wasn’t going to cut it. She needed him, she didn’t want to wait anymore, not when she knew she loved him. “Don’t make me wait.”

“I won’t,” he said throatily, running his hands up her back until he could thread his own fingers through her hair. His tongue worked at her mouth expertly as she poured her lust into their bond, rejoicing as his own flowed back through.

“Do you… I have a birth control injection…,” he stammered when he pulled back.

“Me too,” she hissed, her cunt clenching at the very thought of taking him inside of her.

“Good… good.”

He took hold under her thighs to lift her up and flip her under him on the bed, parting her legs with his knee so that he could slot himself in between them. Rey’s clothes started to feel itchy, restricting. She needed them all off. Thankfully, Ben was on the same wavelength, and was reaching for the hem of her shirt as he kneeled on the bed. She broke their kiss for a moment to let him pull it over her head. His hands came up to cup her breasts through her bra, and Rey found him staring at them in awe as if he hadn’t seen them just a few days prior. She’d been worried that they would be too small to be of much interest to him, but his heady gaze begged to differ. Not too long ago, she’d been nervous that he would be repulsed by her scars she earned from years of living on Jakku and picking for a living. But now, with the way he was looking at her, that fear seemed to melt.

“Ben,” she huffed, the brewing desire inside of her making her ever more impatient. “Take my clothes off. Please.”

He was quick to oblige, pulling her bra off and throwing it across the room. 

“Have I told you how beautiful you are?” he asked, looking intently at her chest. A pink flush had made its way across his cheeks.

Embarrassed, Rey could only nod.

He leaned down to trail kisses down her sternum, and her stomach, the very tips of his fingers making pathways on her skin, the faint pressure light and teasing. He made his way to the edge of her leggings, finally kneeling between her legs to pull at the waist. He seemed to hesitate for a moment, but then decided to pull her leggings and panties off together, throwing them to the side, leaving her exposed all at once. 

“ _Fuuuck_ ,” he cursed, looking at her bare sex for the first time. The sight of Ben palming his cock through his pants at the sight of her made Rey let out a whimper. He didn’t seem to care about the ugly purple mark on her right thigh, or the faded silver scrapes on her stomach. Even when his gaze wandered over them, it looked like he was only getting harder.

“So pretty,” he said, leaning down slowly to place a kiss at her hip bone. “Rey… can I… put my mouth on you?”

She had no concept of what having his mouth down there would feel like, but she was excited to find out. She nodded her head enthusiastically, letting him lay down on the bed between her legs and hook his hands under her thighs and over her hips. The feeling of his warm breath against her center made butterflies erupt in her stomach and a husky moan slip from her lips. She felt completely debauched, naked in his bed with his head between her thighs while he was still fully clothed.

“So ready,” Ben said, ever so lightly running the tip nose along her folds. “And _wet_.”

Rey forgot how to breathe for a few moments as he teased gently at her folds, tracing them gingerly with his tongue. Her thighs tried to close without her permission, trying to pull his face into her cunt. He hummed against her skin, the deep vibrations making something inside of her clench, hard. Ben finally acquiesced, parting her with his tongue.

He had made her come with his hand before, but this felt so… _filthy_. Rey’s sex felt so lush, and fevered. The slide of his tongue through and into her was so different from his fingers, wet and soft against her heated flesh. His dark eyes looked up to her and another hum against her clit made her forget everything except where they were touching and the pleasure that was building and coursing through her body.

“Mmm, Ben,” she moaned, reaching behind her to grip the bed frame, all her muscles stretching and flexing. She couldn’t stop her hips from rolling, grinding her core into his face. He took it well, slipping a finger inside to stroke her as he focused on pulling her clit with his lips.

“Don’t– don’t stop Ben,” she choked out, her back arching off the bed. 

Anytime she looked down at him, she came apart more and more– him with his eyes closed, focused on drawing pleasure out of her, or gazing up at her with a heady look while he did sinful things with his tongue. His supplication only made it hotter, worshipping at her cunt with his lips.

It didn’t take long for her to fall apart on his mouth. It was a strong, steady release, gently crashing over her as she came apart on his fingers and his mouth. Ben stayed there for a moment, pressing kisses against her sensitive cunt until she had to push him away. They both caught their breath for a few moments, smiling lazily at each other.

On shaking legs, Rey eventually brought herself up to kneel in front of him. His jaw dropped when she reached for his shirt, trying to pull it off. After a moment of what seemed like disbelief, he rushed to help her, peeling it away and maneuvering off of the bed to assist her efforts to get his pants off his body and on the floor. Rey ran her fingers slowly down his firm stomach to the bulge in his briefs, rock solid under her touch as he stood in front of her. He reached forward to tuck a piece of hair that had fallen out of her buns behind her ear, which only made her love him more.

“I think a lot about having you in me...,” she said, feeling emboldened by her orgasm.

Ben held his breath, and she knew he was hanging on to her every word.

“...about putting my mouth around you,” she continued.

“You’ve thought of that?” he asked quietly, swallowing thickly.

She nodded, running her thumb around the tip of him through his briefs, pleased when he began to breathe heavily again, vague grunts getting caught in his throat.

“Take these off, Ben,” she ordered, her voice lower and huskier than she had ever heard it before.

Ben scrambled to comply, peeling them off with shaking hands. He was as big as Rey suspected, maybe even bigger. It was thick and heavy like the rest of him, bouncing between them as he stood in front of her. Pink, beautiful… it looked like it ached to be inside her, anywhere. She traced the veins with her eyes, now impatient to feel and get a taste. She took a seat on the bed so she would be eye level with it, and pulled on his hand when he took too long to approach her face. 

“Sweetheart, you don’t have to– _motherfucker_ ”

Rey smiled at her ability to shake him with just a lick along the underside of his cock. It wasn’t so different than licking his skin elsewhere, but here it was warmer, and harder, a bit muskier.

“What were you saying?” she asked sweetly, letting his tip rest on her chin.

“You– _kriff_ – if you don’t want to–”

Rey took him fully in her mouth this time, placing her hands on his thighs. She wasn’t exactly sure what to do, but started by sucking him a bit, and letting her tongue explore the soft skin of his hardness. His hands came to her shoulders, squeezing probably harder than he intended.

“Rey!” he cried out, closing his eyes. She was damn proud of the way she could control him just with this. She pulled back, pausing until he opened his eyes and looked at her again.

“I want to,” she said. “Why should _you_ have all the fun?”

She could tell by his amused expression that he would have laughed if not so overwhelmed by the sight of his cock so close to her lips.

“I… yes. If you… you can… _please_ Rey, put your mouth on me–”

Rey took him out of his misery by doing as he asked, grabbing around his base and letting her mouth close around him. She let the sounds he made and the way his cock twitched against her tongue to guide her. After a few minutes, it became natural to bob her head up and down on his length, pulling her cheeks around him. One of his hands had moved to cup the back of her head, fingers threading through her buns, dismantling them. Even in this, he was gentle with her, not rutting into her throat like she knew would be pleasurable. She took him as far as she could, with how big he was, letting her spit and her hand cover the rest.

“Look at you,” she heard Ben murmur. 

The way he looked down at her, his eyes reverent and submissive, made her feel powerful. She loved the way her nose grazed his pubic hair when she went down on him, and how he gasped when she wedged her tongue into the underside of his tip and wiggled it. Humming in her own satisfaction resonated around his cock, making him moan. It didn’t take long for his knees to become weak, and his hands to pull at her hair abruptly, protesting urgently.

“Kriff, babe– your _mouth_ – Rey, you have to stop… _Rey_ –”

Rey released him with a soft pop, licking her lips. His cock was shiny with her spit and even redder than before. The sight of it alone made her squeeze her thighs together. Ben had his fingers pinched around the base, making her withdraw her own hand.

“Why?” she asked. She hoped it wasn’t because she wasn’t as good at it as he would have liked.

He cupped her cheek to run his thumb over her chin gently, as if he was afraid to grip too hard.

“Because I’m not going to last long as it is, and I don’t want to finish before I can even fuck you,” he said, dark eyes leveling with hers.

Rey felt her cunt constrict around nothing at his hoarse, gravelly tone, at how desperate he sounded to have her. She could only nod and lay back on the bed, tilting her head up to watch him as he covered her body with his.

He took his time, and Rey felt his trepidation clearly through the Force, he was clearly too overwhelmed to shield himself. He wanted this to last long enough to make her come again, and was apprehensive that he might not perform satisfactorily. Rey hated that he doubted himself, that he could think that being with him could ever possibly be anything less than spectacular, even if she didn’t come again. She grabbed his hand and brought it right to her wet center.

“I want you, Ben,” she assured him. “You make me feel… .”

She felt his fingers slide through her folds again, confirming her claim. It seemed to ease his mind, this reminder of how much he turned her on. He kissed her, pouring his affection into her lips and through the Force. Rey felt him nudge her inner thigh, hard and warm. His kisses grew sloppy as she reached down to line up his cock with her center, a deep groan erupting from his chest. When his blunt tip finally parted her folds, he inched forward. He was thicker than anything she’d had before, but the slide of him into her felt so right. She heard and felt him shudder as he slowly worked his way into her, pulsing and heavy against the sensitive walls he had only known with his fingers and his tongue. Rey threw her head back as she was overcome with the arousing feeling of him filling her, splitting her open. It was almost too much, and pinched a little as he pushed into her.

“ _Fuck_ , you’re big,” she whined.

Ben just grunted in response. She brought her hands up to meet his that were clenching the durasteel bed frame so hard she was afraid he might bend it.

“I can take it, Ben,” she assured him, digging her heels into his ass to push him the rest of the way in. He exhaled in a huge rush of air as he bottomed out inside of her. She was stuffed full, every bit of breath pushed from her lungs. Ben tucked his head into her neck to nuzzle at the sensitive skin behind her ear.

“You feel so fucking good,” he sighed into her neck. “So warm, so perfect.”

The way he twitched inside of her when she tested flexing her inner muscles was instantly addictive. 

“Are you ok?” he asked faintly, sounding worried.

“Yes,” she gasped out. “It’s… a lot. But it’s… perfect, Ben.”

“You feel amazing. _Kriff_ , you feel so good around my cock.”

“ _Fuck_ , I need you to move now,” she told him.

He shuddered again at her demand, but then proceeded to tenderly rock against her, pulling out ever so slightly to fill her back up again. When he circled his hips to grind into something raw inside of her, her hands flew up to scramble at his back, nails digging into his shoulder blades.

“Fuck, wish I could _live_ inside you,” he muttered, pulling his head up to look at her. His pupils were fully blown, swallowing his irises. Rey had never seen him so lost, so surrendered to the moment. Her need for him soared.

“Ben, tell me you’ll never leave me,” she begged breathily, lips brushing his.

“Never,” he said quickly. “I won’t. I _can’t_. I love you, Rey. _Kriff_. I dream about you.”

His words stoked something wild inside of her, his promise to always be with her something she had always wanted. Her walls clenched down on him tightly, and his lips crashed into hers. He thrust harder now, and Rey’s nipples hardened at his chest rubbed against her breasts. Ben hit something _deep_ inside of her, making her cry out. Even when they were too lost in fucking to kiss properly, their lips stayed connected, nipping and licking whenever they could.

Rey cursed more than she ever had before, overcome by the way Ben was impaling her on his cock. She was _complete_ when he was inside her. She hugged onto him tightly, determined to have no distance between them. Ben was watching her, and she recognized the resolved look on his face– it was the one he wore when he would do anything to make her happy.

“I’m not going to last, sweetheart,” he confessed breathily. “Need you to come, Rey.” 

He stuck his hand in between them to thumb at her slippery, swollen clit. A strangled cry came out of her throat as he pressed into it the delicious way he’d learned that made her fall apart.

“ _Oh_ , Ben.”

It was becoming impossible to keep her eyes open as every nerve in her body seemed to respond to his touch and the way he was pounding into her. Rey was sure she would never get enough of this feeling, now that she had tasted it. Ben leaned down to kiss at her ear, sucking her earlobe into his mouth, and that was what did it. That’s what sent her hurtling over the edge of the cliff, senses completely overpowered by the strong rush of pleasure and release that took her. Her own scream of his name was muffled by the dominance of the thrill of her climax. The Force exploded into a kaleidoscope of colors, dancing their way across the pages of her mind.

When she came to, she saw Ben looking down at her with a smile, clearly pleased with his efforts.

“So pretty when you come,” he panted, using his hand to pull her hair away from her face.

Having made her come twice now on his mouth and on his cock, Ben became lost in his own pleasure. He got up onto his knees to change the angle and spread her even wider, gripping her hips in his large hands. Sweat trickled down his chest and onto Rey’s stomach. The sound of his balls slapping against her ass seemed to echo in his small room. 

“Mmm,” Rey moaned. “Come inside me… please, Ben…”

“ _Fuck_.”

His body was a work of art– muscles rippling as he rocked into her relentlessly. She reached up to run her fingers down his abs, and became entranced by the sight of his cock disappearing into her, over and over. It made her mouth water, even this soon after coming.

“You take me so well,” he said, when he noticed her focus.

She nodded, biting her lip.

“Bet you’ll take my cum well, too,” he growled, the visual of it making Rey moan louder than ever.

“I will,” she promised, leaning back on the bed to continue letting him pound into her.

It wasn’t long before his thrusts slowed, his thick cock erupting inside of her. He grunted as he pulsed into her, staring her in the eyes as he did so. The Force swirled around them in a rich, vibrant red as his spend emptied into her, the warmth spreading from his come throughout her body. Ben panted, and eventually pulled out to collapse on the bed next to her. Thank goodness it was a double bed.

“That was… wow,” Rey said inelegantly, rolling over to rest her temple against Ben’s shoulder. She couldn’t be without his touch right now. She looked up to see him staring at the ceiling, inhaling and exhaling rapidly.

“Yeah,” Ben breathed out, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. “That was… yeah.”

She giggled at their incoherence. 

“Why didn’t we do that sooner?”

“I… I can’t remember,” Ben replied, sounding genuinely confused. His messed-up hair and glassy eyes only made it funnier.

Rey giggled. She wasn’t used to seeing him so flustered.

“Why didn’t you tell me it would be that good?” she teased him, pinching his side.

“I… didn’t know it… could _be_ that good,” he answered, a blush appearing on his chest. 

Rey felt honesty rush through their bond. Although she was the virgin, she always knew he was more reserved about sex than her, anxious and wanting to wait. But she hadn’t known it was because he hadn’t particularly enjoyed it before. Ben pushed her a raw emotion– a wish that he could have had his first time with her. As sweet as the sentiment was, Rey didn’t want him to feel guilty in the slightest. Everything worked out perfectly, after all.

“I’m just glad one of us knew what to do,” she assured him. “Plus, you’re an old man. It would have been a huge bummer if you had to wait all this time for me.”

Ben rewarded her with a belly laugh, and used his arm under her shoulders to tug her over to him, kissing her with a lazy enthusiasm that made her toes curl even though she’d come not minutes earlier.

“You’re the best,” he told her with a playful smile.

“I love you,” she said simply, leaning her forehead against his.

“Love you.”

Rey let herself lay with him for a few minutes more, basking in the sweet afterglow and the gently coursing river of their satisfied Force bond.

Eventually, she had to peel herself off of him to use his fresher. She wrestled herself out of Ben’s arms and off of the bed hurrying into the fresher as she felt a trickle of his cum leak out of her. When she emerged, he was sitting up, ready to study her naked form with his eyes once again. With a smirk, she picked his shirt up off of the floor and threw it at him. She gathered the rest of her clothes and put them on quickly as Ben continued to watch her, shivering at the slight soreness between her thighs as she pulled her panties up. When she returned and sat back down on the bed, his hands were drawn to her body like magnets, running up and down her arms and her back.

“I wish we could just stay here all day,” she said, patting the mattress.

“We can’t?” Ben asked, with wide eyes and pouting lips.

“Some of us have _real_ jobs around here,” she teased him. “Those Z-95s aren’t going to tune themselves.”

“Do you _have_ to go back to work?” he asked, his voice hilariously whiny.

“Yes!” she exclaimed, slapping away his hands.

He looked on with a frown as she stood back up to put her boots on.

“But don’t worry,” she assured him. “We are _definitely_ doing that again later.”

It took him a moment, but Rey caught a wide, goofy smile on Ben’s face before she turned to leave and shut the door to his room behind her.


	20. Travels

“I _told_ you it wouldn’t work,” Rey said, rolling her eyes for dramatic effect. In reality, she was only doing her best to tease Ben.

“Well, we can’t all be as smart as you,” he quipped, granting her a big smile, flashing his slightly crooked teeth. She was standing with her back against the wall in the main corridor of the Millenium Falcon, Ben leaning toward her with his forearm resting on the wall above her.

“I thought _you_ were supposed to be training _me_ on this mission,” she continued playfully, looking up at him. He still had some dust in his hair and on the shoulder of his jacket. The General definitely had planned it well, sending Rey on her first training mission to Geonosis. She was comfortable with desert planets, which made her more confident. And, apparently, she was also a _lot_ more knowledgeable about them than the Solo men. Supposedly, Han had been avoiding desert planets since some sort of incident with the Hutts on one several decades ago.

“But I like it when you take the lead,” Ben replied, voice low and deep. His characteristic smirk pulled at his lips. Something dropped in Rey’s stomach at the suggestive tone of his voice.

“You do?” she asked, raising an eyebrow at him, reaching up to brush a bit of sand out of his hair.

He nodded slowly before ducking his head even lower to place his lips against her ear, his warm breath floating across the skin on her neck.

“You I know I like it when you get on top and–”

“Will you kids stop flirting and help me get us out of here?” Han yelled out from the cockpit, interrupting his son’s salacious musing.

Ben sighed loudly as Rey laughed and ducked under him to help Han with the pre-flight check.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“We miss you out on the bay floor, Rey,” Finn lamented, sitting down at their usual table in the cafeteria for lunch.

“I miss you all too,” Rey said, smiling around at her friends. It was nice to be on base again for a few days to catch up with everyone.

“And what… no one misses me?” Ben asked teasingly. “I’m wounded.”

“We’re used to never seeing you, Solo,” Poe responded. “And we’re mad you stole Rey away.”

“Poe,” Rey chided him, “you know the General asked me to join them.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Poe relented, waving his hand.

“How long will you be on base?” Rose asked.

“Not sure,” Ben shrugged. “Haven’t heard from my mom yet.”

“Is there anything I can help you with while I’m here?” Rey asked Rose, knowing that the engineering staff was always overloaded with work.

“If you want,” Rose said. “I don’t want to interfere with your rest. Who knows? You may be assigned a long mission soon and the General will be furious if I’ve worn you out beforehand.”

“I’m sure working on the T-70s isn’t what will wear Rey out, if you catch my meaning,” Finn said with a mischievous smile, eyes flicking over to Ben.

Ben choked on a sip of water as Poe laughed and Rose grimaced.

“What do you mean?” Rey asked, feeling left out of the joke.

“Oh nothing,” Finn said, twirling some pasta around his fork.

“Don’t listen to him,” Rose said.

“I’m just saying,” he continued anyway, “it sounds like you’ve been getting… quite a _workout_ since you’ve been back.”

Rey paused, confused. She hadn’t been to the gym yet since returning two days ago. In fact, she had barely left Ben’s room...–

“Oh.”

Finn snickered as her jaw dropped. People _heard_ them? She buried her face in her hands, mortified. She didn’t want _anyone_ to hear what she sounded like when Ben made her come.

“He’s just jealous,” Rose countered, rubbing Rey’s shoulder.

“Who wouldn’t be?” Finn confirmed. 

Rey looked up at Ben, who was frowning at their friend.

“Oh, lighten up, Solo,” Poe added. “At least you’re finally getting some.”

Rey squeaked, thoroughly embarrassed. Ben grabbed her hand under the table in an attempt to comfort her.

“Can we talk about something else?” he begged.

“Sure,” Rose supplied helpfully. “How about brainstorming where we should go on leave next? I know it’s like a month away but I was thinking…”

Ben turned to offer a small smile to Rey. She couldn’t help but grin… it _was_ a little funny that apparently their sex was loud and frequent enough to be that obvious to their friends. They couldn’t do it in the Falcon on missions with Han there, so they always had to wait until they returned to base, which could be after weeks of abstaining. It wasn’t their fault that the barrack walls were thin.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rey had to admit that she felt _pretty_ badass when she used the Force for something physical, like levitating objects.

She was sitting on top of the Falcon replacing the rectenna, which had been clipped off in a tight cave while running from some pirates on Ryloth. Ben would use the Force to toss various tools and parts up to her, and she would levitate broken bits down to him. She got a secret little thrill from seeing the mesmerized faces of the other mechanics in the transport bay watching. She’d never considered herself special before, but she was starting to believe Ben.

“Honestly, it was probably good that this thing got clipped off anyway,” she shouted down to him, pointing at what remained of the old rectenna. “This old thing is garbage.”

“Watch your mouth, young lady,” Han shouted from across the bay. Somehow, no matter where you were, Han could always hear when you said anything about his baby.

Ben and Rey smiled at each other. 

“The hexdriver,” she requested, holding her hand out.

Ben floated up a screwdriver.

“No, the hexdriver,” Rey repeated, tossing it back down to him. 

Ben held up the sonic driver from the workbench for her inspection.

“No,” she huffed, “the hexdriver.” She pointed at it.

“This?” Ben asked, holding up a blissl tuner.

“No, the one I’m pointing to.”

A cruciform ratchet.

“No.”

An impact wrench.

“No.”

A power calibrator.

“Ben.”

“I know, I’m just messing with you,” he said, finally levitating the hexdriver up into her waiting hand.

“Bloody useless Solos,” she whispered under her breath, immersing herself back into her task.

“I heard that!” Ben yelled up to her.

“Yeah? And?” she snarked back.

“Well…,” he said, pausing, “I – ...you’re not wrong.”

Rey threw her head back to laugh.

“I love you,” she said down to him.

“Love you too.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rey’s skin erupted in goosebumps as a single fingertip trailed down her spine. She felt completely exposed in the backless dress she wore, and it didn’t help that _someone_ couldn’t keep his hands off of her.

“Easy there, _Kylo_ ,” she hissed, using Ben’s alias. She’d laughed out loud when he first told her the codename he used on covert missions. It sounded like something out of a holoporn. It was their second mission alone without Han, and she’d come up with her own alias as well.

“It’s not my fault, _Kira_ ,” he whispered as the turbolift continued to ascend. “How am I supposed to focus when you’re wearing… that?”

She turned her head around to scowl at him.

“ _You_ chose this stupid dress,” she bit out. The expensive clothes were part of the scheme to fit in at Canto Bight while looking for a contact in the casino. She had to admit that seeing Ben in a tux was… life-changing. But the dress she was wearing was more distracting than useful, it seemed.

“And I’m regretting it more and more by the second,” he sighed, finally folding his hands in front of him, well away from her back.

“I’m sure you’ll think it’s a good idea again later...” she said playfully, turning back around to face the turbolift doors as they opened, “when you get to peel it off of me.”

Rey smirked when she heard him groan, stepping off the lift into the crowded casino floor.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I love it here,” Rey sighed, leaning back on her hands to tilt her head up to the sky while Ben’s head rested in her lap.

They were laying out in a field at Varykino, Ben’s grandmother’s estate on Naboo.

“I hoped you would,” he said, looking up at her.

“I can see why your grandparents loved it here too.”

“I think this was the only place they were ever truly happy together,” he said sadly.

Rey lifted a hand to parse her fingers through his hair soothingly.

“Were they here long?”

“No, not after they were here initially and got married,” he answered. “My grandmother was here often, but my grandfather could only visit when he was able to sneak away from the Jedi Council for a few days. I like to imagine what it would have been like if he had stepped away from the Jedi, or from Palpatine, and just lived out his life here with her. I bet they would have been happy.”

“You once told me he loved very fiercely,” Rey said softly as Ben’s eyes closed at the feeling of her fingertips on his scalp.

“He did,” he lamented. “He was so scared to lose my grandmother in childbirth that he threw away everything for the wild promise of greater power.”

They grew silent for a few moments, grieving two lovers who didn’t inhabit Varykino for nearly long enough.

“I wish you had gotten a chance to meet them,” Rey said quietly, tears building in her eyes. She was just starting to understand the concept of family, and it broke her heart to know what Ben’s had been through.

Ben smiled sadly, turning his head to nuzzle into her thigh.

“Me too. I wish I could have been there for him… Anakin,” he said. “And I think he would love you, you know. I mean, I never knew him… but I know that somehow.”

“Because I have the Force?”

Ben shook his head against her leg.

“Because you’re brave. Because he knew what it was like to grow up in a desert wasteland with nothing. Because he would have been proud of you for still being kind anyway.”

Now the tears were really falling. Rey wiped them away before they could splash Ben’s face on her lap.

“What about you? I _know_ he would be proud of you.”

Ben swallowed, and let out a watery breath.

“You do?”

Rey nodded, even though his eyes were still closed.

“I do,” she said sincerely. “You embrace the Force, but you don’t let it control you. I’m sure there were plenty of times you could have been tempted by power, but you chose compassion first. You chose love for your family, for your friends, for the galaxy. Any grandparent would be proud of that, I think. You told me that Anakin chose his love for your Uncle Luke in the end. You’ve spent your whole life doing that, choosing to forgo the promise of strength and just loving instead. You get that from him, you love fiercely too.”

Ben sat up suddenly, wrapping Rey up in his arms and burying his face into her shoulder. She held him tightly, rubbing his back and kissing his hair. They sat there for a long time, as the sun set across the lake and the stars began to shine.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rey rarely lost her cool when they were on missions. After the first dozen or so, nothing surprised her anymore. The Solo men seemed to attract trouble wherever they went. Neither of them were very subtle, which was why Rey had quickly become the go-to choice for executing plans that required stealth while Ben and Han stocked up on supplies or created distractions. 

But this time, her calm demeanor was being tested.

From across the cantina, she could see that there were several women all crowded around Ben, who was standing in the middle looking panicked. Even his Force signature was a hectic blend of red and orange, when he was normally so well-shielded. On the outside, a stranger might see a friendly grin, but Rey recognized his fake smile for what it was. She felt jealousy prickle at the back of her neck. She’d been gone for 20 minutes at most, and Ben had already attracted most of the humanoid women in the bar. Not that she could blame them, there were very few prospects for them on this planet, and Ben was _extremely_ handsome.

She huffed out of her nose before forcefully making her way across the bar. She had to shove a blonde woman out of the way in order to make it to Ben’s side.

“Rey,” he breathed out, forgetting to use her codename, looking down at her with an expression of immense relief.

She immediately grabbed his hand and pulled it around her, standing up on her toes to pull him down for a kiss. He seemed surprised at first, lips still under hers, but responded quickly, wrapping her up in his arms and eagerly kissing her back. After a few glorious seconds, Rey pulled back, and was pleased to see that the gaggle of women had dissipated.

“Well,” she said happily. “That worked.”

Ben looked confused for a moment, but chuckled when he understood what she had done.

“Feeling a little… territorial?” he asked teasingly.

Rey grabbed his belt and pulled him against her tightly.

“Yes,” she said brazenly. “You’re mine.”

Ben just smiled down sweetly at her, even in her rage.

“Yes, I am,” he agreed, reaching his hands up to tuck her hair behind her ears.

He played with her hair for a minute, letting her calm down and lean into his touch.

“I have an idea,” she said. “Why don’t you just wear a ring? Isn’t that something people in the Core do to fend off interested… individuals?”

Ben’s fingers paused in her hair, and his lips tightened into a line. Rey knew him well enough to know that he was clearly upset or surprised about something, even if she hadn’t been able to read his Force signature.

“That’s not… I don’t think…,” he trailed off, looking away from her.

“Oh,” Rey said, feeling a little stupid. Maybe she’d imagined that custom. “I thought I heard that somewhere…”

“People… people do wear rings,” Ben explained, his hands resuming their task of combing through her hair. Rey could feel his heartbeat pick up a bit against her chest. “They wear them… when they’re married. That’s why people don’t approach them, because it means they’re already married.”

“Oh,” Rey repeated dumbly.

Rey had never thought about marriage before. Not for her, at least. It wasn’t the kind of thing anyone ever did in Jakku. She didn’t know much about it. The only married couple she knew personally were the General and Han. But she knew it was a thing people in the Core did all the time. It could be beneficial if it meant that Ben would wear a symbol that he was taken.

Ben was fiddling with the collar on her shirt now, decidedly looking down at the floor.

“So… you don’t want to wear a ring?” she asked to clarify.

He finally looked up at her then, eyes wide, and questioning.

“Do you want to get married?” she asked, explaining. “Then you could wear a ring and I wouldn’t have to chase women away from you.”

Ben, honest to Force, _blushed_ , even the tips of his ears turning bright pink. Apparently something she said was wrong.

“That’s… this… you aren’t–,” he stammered, his head shaking back and forth, “This is not how I wanted to ask you!”

“Oh… you don’t want to… get married? In general? Or to me?”

“No… no..., that’s not...,” he blubbered. “Of course I want to. Marry you.” His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed thickly, something changing in his eyes after saying the two simple words. “But… it’s supposed to be special when I ask you.”

“Oh,” Rey replied dumbly. “Why?”

A look of understanding dawned across Ben’s face.

“I can tell you more about marriage traditions on the way back to base,” he offered with a kind smile. “There’s kind of a lot of them depending on the planet, but most of them consider asking someone to marry them to be a romantic gesture, it needs to be special.”

Rey considered this, looking around her.

“So we should pretend this conversation never happened here in this cantina and do it somewhere… more romantic instead?”

Ben laughed, lines forming around the corners of his mouth.

“You’re getting the idea,” he said, wrapping his hands gently around her neck.

He leaned down to kiss her, and Rey smiled into it, knowing that Ben would lead her through marriage, and life, and everything else she didn’t know about.


	21. Hustle

Some days, it was _oh_ so hard for Rey to focus when she and Ben were training. At the moment, Ben had his shirt off, which was entirely distracting. His uncle had rolled his eyes when he’d stripped it off a few moments ago, complaining about the humid heat on Dagobah. Rey couldn’t blame him, she felt as if she could melt into a puddle at any second. She still couldn’t understand why Luke had insisted that they train here. At least they were isolated.

“Your Form IV is a little rusty,” Luke told his nephew, waving his hand.

“Just because that’s the first form you were taught doesn’t mean it’s well suited to me,” Ben grumbled.

“That’s true,” Luke replied. “You’re not exactly… light on your feet.”

Rey tried to conceal her laugh with a cough, but failed miserably. Ben scowled at her before turning back to his uncle.

“I’d appreciate some actionable feedback,” he said with a bit of snark, “not just insults.”

“Alright,” Luke sighed. “When you utilize a saber swarm, you should focus more on the speed and frequency of your strikes rather than putting a lot of strength behind them. You’re trying to get your opponent on the defensive. Save your power for after your swarm has put them back.”

Ben nodded, and Rey could see even through his grumpy frown that he agreed with his uncle’s critique. She watched a bead of sweat roll down his chest, then his abs. She had to swallow around a dry mouth when she saw it follow his hip bone down to–

“Rey?”

“Wh– what?”

Luke cocked an eyebrow at her.

“I asked if you were ready to use Form III to really put Ben’s swarm to the test.”

“Oh, sure,” she said quickly, embarrassed to have been caught off guard. Luke was always preaching about constant vigilance, and she’d been completely bewitched by Ben’s body.

Ben smirked at her, clearly smug about catching her staring.

“Ready, sweetheart?” he asked.

“Bring it.”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Oh, _Force_.”

Rey wasn’t even sure how she was forming full words at this point. Ben’s cock was so far inside her it was possible they would never be able to get it out. It always felt deepest like this, with her straddling his lap. They were in hyperspace now, watching the stars fly by the Millenium Falcon as she rode Ben in the captain’s seat.

“You shouldn’t use the Force’s name in vain,” he panted out, a mischievous grin on his full lips.

Rey retaliated by seating herself fully on him and clenching as hard as she could. Ben couldn’t even curse, he just let out a guttural moan and threw his head back. It was a pity that he was still nearly fully clothed. Rey would love to run her fingernails down his bare chest.

“What was that, Ben?” she asked, pulling a little harder at the hair at the nape of his neck.

“Ah, fuck!” he exclaimed, fingertips digging into her thighs.

She bounced up and down on him again, grabbing one of his hands to bring it to her clit.

“You’re so fucking hot,” he said, setting his thumb to work at swirling around the nub.

Rey leaned forward to speak directly into his ear.

“Not as hot as you with your lightsaber, I got wet just watching you.”

Ben scrambled to wrap his other arm around her back, holding her as tightly as he could against him. He was pistoning up into her now, she couldn’t even keep her own rhythm. She’d wanted this from the moment they had taken down the last of the Knights of Ren. Without his dark minions, Snoke would be far more vulnerable. Ben had been magnificent, all strength and power and fury. Rey could see how he could be tempted by the Dark Side. She was glad he knew his boundaries. But when he had unleashed himself in battle, Rey had never seen anything more beautiful– muscles rippling and his voice echoing through the hall in fierce roars. She’d had the sense to not pounce on him until they were well off-planet and zooming through hyperspace. Then, the tension between them boiled over and Rey was climbing into his lap as soon as she pushed the lever, barely even taking the time to take her pants off.

“You were amazing,” he growled, pressing right down onto her clit. “Kriff, I can’t wait to marry you.”

Rey laughed, the sound choked out of her as he continued to thrust into her relentlessly. She hung on to his shoulders for dear life. A button on her jacket had caught on to his shirt and was beginning to rip it, but she couldn’t care less about that at the moment.

“Is this your way of asking me?

Ben scoffed, flicking her clit with his pointer finger, making an embarrassingly high noise come out of her chest.

“No,” he said deeply. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I have a plan for that.”

Rey just nodded into his neck as she circled her hips around his cock. She was so close, it was hard to think anymore. 

“Are you going to come, Rey?” Ben asked roughly, folding his arms around both of her shoulders to hold her steady as he rocked into her. He bit into her shoulder, nearly hard enough to break through the fabric. 

She nodded again, a whine escaping her throat.

“ _Ben_.”

He resumed his task of teasing her clit and hitting something deep inside of her with his cock. He knew _exactly_ how to please her now by now, he was a master of her body.

“Rey, look at me.”

She obeyed, pulling back to place her forehead against his, letting him watch her as she fell apart.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I’m bored,” Rey complained.

Ben looked over at her incredulously from his position on the hotel bed, the sheets over his waist barely concealing his modesty.

“I’m… boring you?” he asked, eyebrows high on his forehead.

Rey snorted inelegantly.

“No,” she reassured him, “not like that. I’m just anxious to get back to base.”

Ben smiled softly, pulling her over and nestling her into his arms. Rey sighed into the warmth, the sunlight streaming into their hotel bedroom through the window, heating her naked skin.

“Me too,” he agreed.

It had been nearly three months since they’d been on base or had contact with anyone from the Resistance. The mission to take out the Knights of Ren had been top secret. Only Ben, Rey, the General, and Admiral Holdo knew about it. For everyone’s safety, they’d completely cut all comms on the Falcon. And now that the mission was complete, they had to wait two weeks before returning to base in case they were being tracked or followed. The last thing they wanted to do was lead the First Order right to their base after taking out their top dogs. Rey had already inspected the ship top to bottom three times to check for any tracking devices, but they needed to play it safe after spending time deep in First Order territory. They were hopping from planet to planet to obscure their trail, and the new cloaking upgrades Rey and Rose had installed on the Falcon were getting heavy use.

“I never really thought I would… miss people,” she admitted into Ben’s shoulder. “I’m so used to being alone.”

Ben rubbed a circle on her hip with his thumb.

“You have friends and family now,” he said. “I’m sure they miss you a ton.”

Rey pressed a kiss to his chest, just beside his nipple.

“What do you think is next?”

Ben pursed his lips, catching on to her meaning and considering the possibilities.

“Well,” he answered, “I can only assume we’ll go after Snoke next. I’m sure my mom has been cooking up a plan while we’ve been gone.”

“And then… I suppose we’ll be done.”

“Maybe,” he sighed. “There’s always more deeply rooted problems the more you stamp out, it seems. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s more behind Snoke that we will have to deal with.”

“What a drag.”

Ben laughed at her, his chest rising and falling under her cheek.

“For real.”

“As long as we’re together, I’m in for as long as it takes,” she promised.

“Me too,” he agreed. “Although I’m looking forward to the day when we can just… chill.”

Rey chuckled, scooting up to nuzzle into his neck.

“That _would_ be nice.”

“I don’t know how my mom has been doing this for so many years. It’s exhausting.”

“She has quite the impressive track record,” Rey concurred.

“After this, we need to force her to retire. We should send her and Han to Varykino or something. There’s got to be someone else that can take over once the First Order is dismantled.”

“I can’t imagine forcing your mom to do anything,” Rey laughed.

Ben let out an aggravated sigh.

“Me neither,” he admitted. “But it’s worth a try. Even though I don’t think she would be happy sitting on the sidelines.”

“I admire that about her.”

Ben pinched her side, making Rey squeak.

“Don’t go getting any ideas,” Ben said. “We’re taking a break after this. There’s still so many places I want to take you.”

“I suppose if you insist...,” Rey feigned dramatically.

Ben let out a little growl and rolled over her, trapping her underneath him.

“Is that… attitude I detect, sweetheart?” he asked devilishly, letting his weight sink on top of her.

“No!” she yelped, swatting at his firm ass.

“You know what happens when you get an attitude with me, don’t you sweetheart?”

“Get off me, you giant tree!”

Rey let him blow raspberries into her neck, laughing and batting at him playfully.

“Naughty girls get punished,” he rasped into her ear, making Rey’s stomach drop and her core clench.

“My ass is still recovering from last time!” she goaded him, locking her legs around his waist to try to flip him off of her.

“Well maybe you’ll remember to be good if I _permanently_ leave my handprints on your behind,” he teased.

Rey let out a breathy moan, using it to distract Ben enough to roll him to the side, using the momentum to get on top and use her feet to lock his legs under her. He could very easily overtake her, but he let her get her way, as usual. He just looked up at her with an annoyingly adorable smile and settled his hands around her hips.

“Maybe it’s _you_ who need to be punished,” she countered, gently twisting one of Ben’s nipples with her fingers.

“Have I been bad?” he asked, voice even deeper than before, eyes now ogling her chest.

“You just threatened to leave permanent handprints on my ass,” she huffed. 

“Well, it might be the next best thing for you to wear until I get a ring on your finger.”

Rey rolled her eyes. Ben was always talking about getting married, but hadn’t proposed yet. She supposed he was waiting for the right time, some time that was less hectic. He was a romantic that way. But Rey had a feeling they wouldn’t be getting any less busy any time soon, so she hoped it happened sooner rather than later. He wanted to be the one to propose, so she just waited patiently. But it was hard to be patient when he brought it up so often.

“Then what should I leave on _your_ body until I can get a ring on it?” she asked.

“Hmmm,” he hummed, pretending to mull it over as his hands roamed across her stomach and chest. “Well, you certainly love sucking marks into my neck where my parents and the whole world can see them.”

Rey giggled. It was true. Ben got a fair amount of teasing on base about the hickeys she left on him. She tried to remember to leave them somewhere his clothes would conceal them, but she didn’t always think straight in the heat of the moment.

“I suppose that will have to do for now,” she acquiesced, leaning down to bring a bit of the skin under his ear into her mouth.

Based on the moan he let out when she did it, Rey figured it would suffice, at least for now.


	22. The Throne Room

There were times when Rey felt as if she might lose herself to the Darkside. It was frightening, the way she teetered on the edge, almost willing to succumb, just to be pulled back to the Light by Ben at the last moment.

It was a plan they had come up with together; it was the only way they would be able to get into Snoke’s throne room with him actually present, not just his hologram. Breaking into a First Order Mega-class Star Dreadnought was one thing. Getting all the way to the throne room undetected? That was entirely different. No, they needed to be invited there by the Supreme Leader himself. They would only have one chance, after all.

The Resistance knew that intel of Ben and his connection to the Force had made it to Snoke long ago, from when he was a child. There was no way he would ever believe that the son of Leia Organa would want to meet with him, to seek his tutelage. But Rey, she was unknown. Their moles in the First Order were able to confirm that she had not appeared on their radar… only that Snoke had mentioned a recent awakening in the Force to the Knights before they were all killed. It was the opportunity they needed. The challenge would be to create a scenario in which the Supreme Leader would be tempted by Rey’s power and her pension for the Darkside, and convinced by her supposed offering of Ben, the young Skywalker.

It was an incredibly risky plan. It required months of steeping Rey in Dark elements of the Force, almost like shining a spotlight on herself in the galaxy, ripe for Snoke’s sensing. Luke and Ben guided her, always pulling her out of vengeful spirals or angry rages when she became too encumbered by the Dark. They needed to release signals into the Force of an uncontrolled, untrained user-- one that Snoke would want for himself. Rey had to completely transform her shields that Ben had helped her develop. She had to shield the Light in her, letting the Dark seep out and through the galaxy.

Rey woke up often with nightmares, the Force swirling in violent thunderstorms in her head. But Ben was always there to hold her tight, and bring her back to reality, back to the Light. He kissed her temple and pushed their bond into her, scaring off the Dark. Not long after they started, Ben had wanted to abandon the plan. As much as it was hurting Rey, it wounded him as well to see the person he loved most suffer. But they continued, fully committed to the plan that would lead them right to Snoke’s door.

“I love you, I love you,” Ben murmured into her hair one night, arms wrapped around her, rocking her back and forth. She breathed heavily into his shirt, trying to keep herself grounded. His steady hands rubbed her back, diffusing warmth across her skin. Rey cherished these moments, when she and Ben would build up her shields to allow them a few moments of peace and love between them without letting any other Force users in the galaxy pick up on the Light in it. They were crowded into their cramped bed inside their makeshift shelter on Zeffo, one of the many places they escaped to for training and Force transmission. Rey breathed in, inhaling Ben’s natural smell, one of her comforting triggers. He was strong for the both of them while she endured this, carrying her when she couldn’t hold herself up. Now and then, she caught him crying when he thought she couldn’t see. She promised to herself that when this was all over, she would care for him, would help him escape a lifetime of war he’d been through. She hummed against his chest, letting the vibrations reach his heart. She would treasure him, when they had the chance. His responding hum soothed her, the deep sound putting her to sleep.

But now, in the Supremacy, the only sounds in the turbolift were the breaths of four individuals. Distorted breaths coming from the stormtrooper and the officer who accompanied them, and Ben and Rey. Rey was leading Ben in Force-suppressing wristcuffs. She felt on the verge of panic, not being able to connect with Ben at a time like this, with their shields up and his connection cut off. But when she looked over, she could see the smallest hint of a smile on his mouth as he looked straight ahead toward the door, and she knew it was to comfort her. She exhaled slowly to refocus. They would only have one chance at this.

Rey tried not to gasp as the turbolift doors opened, revealing an expansive chamber bathed in blood red hue, empty save for a throne with the Supreme Leader himself sitting upon it, and his Praetorian guard stationed on either side. It was grotesquely beautiful, and terrifying. She did her best to bolster her mental shields, and project the vague Darkness that she had perfected into the space around her. She grabbed Ben aggressively by the scruff of his shirt, practically dragging him toward the throne. She needed to appear unrefined, untrained. She thought about the dozens of people she lugged through the sand like this, victims of the security traps on her AT-AT in the desert on Jakku. She let that fury fuel her, her years of loneliness paint her Force signature in pain and misery.

Snoke, an ancient, scarred Muun who was taller than Rey had imagined, remained silent as they approached, eyes glancing between the two of them and studying them carefully. Rey let herself bathe in the Darkness, knowing it was the only way to maintain an element of surprise. Snoke’s marred face didn’t give anything away, he just waited for her to speak. 

“I’ve brought you something,” she said roughly, coating her words in poison. 

She shoved Ben toward Snoke, ignoring the pang of regret deep inside of her as she did so. There was no time for weakness.

“You have,” Snoke agreed, his raspy voice echoing in the chamber. He hadn’t given Ben a second glance since they approached the throne, reserving his gaze for Rey, just as they had hoped.

“This was his,” she added coldly, holding out Ben’s lightsaber toward him.

A sick sense of satisfaction filled the air, a maleficent orange in Rey’s mind’s eye. Snoke smirked as he summoned it toward him, catching it and rotating it in his hand.

“Impressive,” he sneered. “A Skywalker lightsaber. A suitable prize for my collection.”

He set the lightsaber down on the table next to him, playing right into their hand. They’d planned for several different scenarios, depending on how Snoke reacted to them. Now they needed a distraction. He still had too much control.

“What do you call yourself?” he asked, tilting his head in curiosity.

“Rey,” she answered.

“I have felt you across the galaxy. I have felt your raw, untamed power. When Light rises, Darkness comes to meet it,” he said, waving his hand toward Ben. “And risen you have.”

She remained silent, glaring at him, letting pleasure seep through her limbs, pride in the sheer magnitude of her strength in the Force. She wasn’t a desert rat, she was a force to be reckoned with.

“And what do you seek, young Rey, bringing me these… gifts?” he asked her, gesturing toward Ben.

Just as she had practiced, Rey bent down on one knee, and placed her own lightsaber on the floor next to her. 

“I seek… guidance,” she said, truthfully. There was so much to the Force, so much Dark potential she had yet to tap. The only real way to convince him was for her to truly feel it.

“You wish to become my apprentice?” Snoke asked directly. The slight intonation of surprise made Rey hesitate. If she was too compliant, he would not believe her act.

“I wish to become the most powerful person in the galaxy, to make hordes _cower_ before me,” she countered with a youthful, naive cockiness, letting a dose of hostility coat the Force around her. 

Snoke laughed cruelly, the sound piercing and haunting, and just what she wanted.

“You are but a child,” he sneered. 

“I defeated a Skywalker,” she retorted angrily, letting her rage portray an uncontrived display. She had not been a child for many, many years. That had been cruelly stripped from her too early.

“The Skywalker line has grown _weak_ ,” he said with lazy disdain. “It was enough to gain my attention, but you have much to learn.”

“I am ready,” she challenged him, willing every fiber of her being to yearn for the promise of greater power.

Snoke seemed to consider her for a moment, Darkness and anticipation swirling behind his voided, onyx eyes. Rey could feel him probing at her, and let him do it. She couldn’t let him know that she had shields. She let every Dark sensation flood her consciousness, her quest for a master to train her float to the top.

“So be it,” Snoke replied after a few moments, looking pleased. He leaned back in his chair. “I do appreciate that you brought your own training dummy,” he added, pointing haphazardly at Ben. “It will be so delightful to watch you rip his mind apart.”

At that comment, Ben played his part. He dove onto the ground next to Rey, rolling her saber under him and grabbing it with his still-restrained hands. He stood and ignited it behind him anyway, looking ferocious. In response, Rey stood up quickly and kicked out to sweep his legs out from under him, making him topple to the ground, saber deactivating, and his head painfully hitting the floor. She stood there over him, baring her teeth as he groaned on the floor.

Snoke laughed, and summoned Rey’s saber from his hands and floated it back into hers.

“Then again,” he added gleefully, “perhaps it would be more worthwhile to have you kill the Skywalker boy now, to prove your loyalty to me.”

Rey nodded solemnly, taking a moment to circle Ben, letting the Darkness fill her. This was her chance to prove herself, to show that a nobody from the desert could have a destiny, could be a purveyor of death. She felt power surge through the thrumming golden-hued lightsaber, igniting with a flash of sparks. Her blood coursed hotly through her, the sound of her pulse rushing through her head. She watched as Ben pathetically tried to scramble up onto his knees, a soft snarl coming out of the back of her throat. She would never be caught so helpless, so vulnerable. It wasn’t in her nature. She saw out of the corner of her eye Snoke watching her, a wicked smile curling on his deformed, guantly face. It felt good to please someone so powerful, someone who decided the fates of entire planets, of solar systems.

Ben managed to look up then, catching her gaze as she walked around him. 

“Please,” he muttered, his eyes wide and throat bobbing. He looked desperate, almost unhinged. There was something wild in his brown eyes, nearly unrecognizable as he groveled.

Snoke laughed in the distance.

“Pitiful fool,” he scoffed, his voice twisting and building into an ugly yell. “He thinks you cared for him. I can see his mind, his every thought. He thinks he can turn you, and for that he must die. Prove that you cannot be bested, young Rey, prove your resolve!”

Rey twirled the saber in her hand, seeking out the weak points in Ben’s body, eyeing his exposed side as he leaned toward the ground with his left elbow. It would be so easy, with him so restrained and weak. She had made him this way, she was the one finally in control. She raised her blade, taking a step closer to him. He scanned her face frantically. Under the light of the saber, Rey could see tears beginning to build in his eyes.

“I know what I have to do,” she promised somberly.

“No, please,” Ben whimpered, his full, beautiful bottom lip trembling, split down the middle with blood from his fall. “Rey…”

“DO IT,” Snoke snarled, now leaning forward on his throne toward the pair. 

She could practically feel the way her lightsaber would slice through him like water, smooth and satisfying. It would be effortless. She envisioned the way flesh would part, how atoms would yield to her blade. She curled her fingers around the hilt, spinning energy within the Force.

With a final move, she reached out into the Force, igniting the saber.

With her own lightsaber already crackling with yellow light, Ben’s blade now lit up, the bright blue beam piercing directly through Snoke’s torso. 

Rey felt the Force spill out of her in waves, every bit of energy rushing out, leaving her breathless and light-headed. She had to brace her legs to keep from falling. The intensity of it all, the sheer force of will that kept her from falling to the Dark, it nearly took her out. Ben stood up as quickly as he could, letting her lean against him. They only had a second, maybe two before the Guard would realize what had happened and react. Rey steeled herself, tapping into something deep inside of her to keep herself upright. With a swipe of her hand, Ben’s cuffs were broken, and he quickly summoned his saber into his hand. She finally raised her head to look at her lover, relishing the look of pure relief on his handsome face. He gave her a nod, a silent message that their job was not done, that she needed to hold herself together for a few more minutes.

With a deep inhale, Rey turned, now seeing the Praetorian Guard now surrounding the pair of them. She gathered her strength, and struck out, letting her instinct and her bond with Ben guide her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy holidays, everyone. I'm sorry that I took another long hiatus from this fic. I'm still facing a lot of challenges. I work in healthcare, so.... yeah. Anyway, I have had this whole fic written for MONTHS now, so I'm determined to release it all. I've finished every single one of my fics, so you can bet your ass I will finish this one, even if it takes a while. There's only a few chapters left!!!  
> Much love to you all, thanks for sticking with me.  
> <3


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